Amalgam
by DXM Junkie
Summary: So, Tony touched the shiny Asgardian necklace and now he's popped on over to another dimension. Apparently this world's Iron Man is some sort of psycho villain who blows stuff up on a daily basis in the bad kind of way. And this version of Captain America hates his freaking guts. Established Steve/Tony, Thor/Jane, Clint/Natasha.
1. The Wharf

He hit the ground at a sharp angle. The air in his lungs expelled so swiftly his eyes inadvertently burned with tears. His ribs ached as he rolled to his front, covering his arms over his head on instinct. That hurt. What the hell happened? He wasn't in his armor… Had he been in his armor?

Glancing up with wary resignation, Tony felt woozy and nauseous. A bright light swung above him. His ears rang with surprised and angry shouts. He couldn't understand what they were saying. The tell tale echo of SHIELD-issued boots tapping on the immaculate floor, surrounding him. Weapons drawn, safety triggers disabled.

"Only Iron Man could break into SHIELD." Steve's voice came from his left, a calming beacon slicing through chaos. "So, Tony Stark really is Iron Man."

Tony tried to focus on him, but the words still didn't make much sense. Of course he's Iron Man. Like, duh.

Steve loomed in front of him, shield slung over one arm- wait, his old shield. What? And he was pointing a gun directly at Tony's forehead. Tony blinked, shaking his head and began weakly thumping his chest until he felt the steady hum of the arc reactor beneath his palm. Okay, not dreaming then.

After a long moment he managed to fold up on his knees and grunt, "What the hell happened, Steve? Are you alright?"

Cornflower blue eyes stared blankly back at him, the normally friendly and expressive face morphed into something he didn't recognize. Next thing he knew his arms were being lurched painfully behind his back by some nameless agent. He bit his tongue to suppress a shout. They didn't have to be so rough. What was going on? Dammit, what was Fury pissed at him about this time?

Handcuffs restricted his blood flow, a hand he couldn't see tugged sharply on his hair to force his head back. Orders, chaos and adrenaline made his vision turn spotty. Tony was then dragged to some random room of SHIELD's headquarters. He was thrown down onto a bench without further aplomb.

The back of his skull cracked painfully on the metal, he hissed. Why was Steve letting them rough house him? Normally Cap was overbearingly protective on the best of days. Tony was still not certain if this was some sort of practical joke- because if so, again, Steve would never let them harm him.

Tony idly recognized his surrounding. He'd just been in this conference area not even two days ago. Was it two days? How had he gotten back here? Oh, yeah. He'd been at the Tower, screwing around in Bruce's lab with that artifact. Oh hell. The dots connected and Tony drew in a deep breath.

He'd touched the necklace that Thor and Steve and Bruce had kinda mentioned, multiple times, not to touch.

Magic. God damn he hated magic, Tony thought belatedly. Fury smiled over his crumpled form with something akin to triumph. He'd never seen the man so pleased to see him.

"So we finally caught you." Fury's voice practically purred. "Don't know how you ended up right on our doorstep, Iron Man. Or should I say, Tony Stark?"

Tony raised an eyebrow in disbelief at the theatrics, "Seriously, Fury? Are you high? Have you been smoking crack?"

Fury's eyes narrowed as he quietly snarled, "Oh, you felt we should have captured you sooner?"

"Captured?" Tony repeated with emphasis. "I know you get pissy when I stay in my lab for more than three days, but you don't really need to capture me, Fury. I'm kinda here every other day of the week for debriefings, dude."

"So you'll admit you're Iron Man?" Fury demanded.

The room was quiet for a moment until Tony rambled, "What the hell am I in trouble for this time? Seriously. Okay, so I totally did exactly as Steve and Bruce and Thor told me not to. Yeah. I admit that." Tony glanced at a very unimpressed Captain America before cringing. "Guilty as charged to that offense. I didn't mean to -actually- touch Thor's relic-thingy, I was just putting it through the gamma ray spectrometer to measure its frankly bizarre and uncategorizable parametrization-"

"Answer the question, Stark." This time Steve strode forward, his masculine jawline tucked toward his chest as he downright glowered at Tony.

Tony flinched when his eyes locked on Steve's, sincerely taken aback. Tony managed to utter a confused, "Steve?"

Captain America squared his shoulders and glared balefully towards Tony with an expression that could've made even the bravest soldier want to burst into tears. That tone, Tony thought. He used that tone when he was trying to reign in his anger and it wasn't working.

Steve nearly spat on Tony as he bellowed, "How dare you call me by my given name, you genocidal maniac!"

"Huh?" Tony was not on his best form. He was feeling a little concussed, a lot nauseous, and very concerned for his current safety. "What is going on here? Am I being Punked?"

"We are arresting you for numerous crimes against humanity-" Fury smirked as he paced back and forth, continuing to talk. But Tony didn't hear the list. He was too busy staring around the room, gathering his bearings, and noting the differences. This was SHIELD. But that certainly wasn't Steve. Or Fury.

"Did I time travel?" Tony cut Fury off from his impassioned rant.

The agents assembled around the room chuckled to one another, a nasty taunt.

"No, I'm being completely serious here." Tony added urgently. "It was Sunday Oct. 20, 2019 not even an hour ago. For me. Did I time travel?"

Fury visibly hesitated, as if to reassess Stark's sanity. He waved his hand absently, "Agent Hill-"

"The date corroborates." Hill murmured from behind his shoulder. "It will be a Sunday on Oct. 20, 2019, sir."

Captain America frowned, his index finger twitched on the trigger of the gun he held, "He's lying."

"I am not!" Tony whined, trying to adjust his arms behind his back, but found the cuffs were too tight. "No seriously, lemme explain. God, this fucking concussion. If I did in fact travel through time because of Thor's stupid fucking necklace, I'm not sure how much I can even say, 'cause of that, you know, fucking butterfly effect-"

Natasha, who had been hovering on the sidelines, moved forward with purpose. Her hand clenched and Tony instinctively cringed and yelped, "Ahhh, Nat! Stoppit! Don't tase me, bro, fuck! Let me fucking explain-"

Natasha did halt at those words, her eyes deducing Tony's earnest expression. Fury exchanged one of those looks that spoke paragraphs with Natasha, before she crouched in front of him. Her free hand was still on her Widow's bite attached to her wrist.

"So you deny that you are the super villain, Iron Man?"

"Super villain?" Tony snorted, rolling his eyes. "That's insane. I'm an Avenger. That's kinda the antithesis of a villain, guys."

"So you are denying it?" Natasha repeated softly. "You deny sending a nuclear missile into the heart of Hong Kong? Or releasing the Hulk on a poor neighborhood in India? You're denying that you are in fact Iron Man?"  
>"Um no, I'm saying that I shouldn't have fucked with Thor's magical necklace."<p>

Fury sneered at him, "Thor?"

"Asgardian God of Thunder? Carries around a hammer, wears a big red cape? You're kidding me," Tony deadpanned, parsing out his next words carefully. "You're saying Dr. Bruce Banner is some kind of national threat, I'm some sort of super crazy villain, and you've never heard of Thor Odinson or Loki Laufeyson?"

Fury stared down at Tony, ready to throw the man to the ground in a moments notice for his Stark snark. Captain America was also tensed up beside Tony. It was disconcerting to have Steve glare at him like that. It sent Tony's nerves on edge. He'd never seen Steve look at him quite like that before. Even when they weren't friends.

"Oh, fucking hell. Just my luck." Tony pouted moodily towards the ceiling. "And this isn't even the weirdest thing that's happened to me this week. So it is time travel, then? Or am I a doppelganger in this world? Time-space-dimension traveler?"

Tony paused before asking himself incredulously, "Goddamn. Am I the American Dr. Who now?"

Natasha moved quietly from the round table, ignoring his words as she placidly asked, "So now you're trying to convince us you aren't Iron Man?"

Tony shifted his arms behind his back, trying to find an angle that wasn't painful, "Um, yeah. I'm obviously Iron Man."

The atmosphere in the room shifted palpably. Before Tony could retort his face was forcefully slammed down onto the bench he'd been perched on. Blood filled his mouth, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Steve. Oh god, Steve. That perfect face was red with indignation and his eyes were burning quasars. Steve never physically harmed him before, outside of mishaps in the gym or accidents during missions. His Steve knew how easily his super strength could go overboard, but this Other-Steve didn't seem to. Or he wasn't trying to hold himself back. Legitimately scary thought.

"Take this monstrosity away," Steve ordered in his Captain America voice.

"No, ugh!" Tony spat some blood, forcing himself to add, "I'm not some goddamn super villain. Go look for Tony Stark in this world. I'm pretty sure you'll fucking find him exactly where you left him!"

Fury's voice turned velvet and dangerous, Tony couldn't tell from where he was speaking. His vision was dizzy and stilted.

"You think we'd believe you? Really, Stark. I'm disappointed."

"I'm not the goddamn Tony Stark from this world!" Tony bellowed. Steve's hand clenched so tight on Tony's hair that his scalp felt pulled away from his skull.

"You're a lunatic." Steve's disgusted tone made his skin especially crawl, and he knew an angry Steve was an especially careless Steve. Shit. "Humanity should wipe its hands of you."

Tony's head was expertly bashed against the bench a second time. He passed out a moment later.

When he woke up again he was in a cell. Shirtless. His arms weren't handcuffed anymore, but Tony nearly jumped out of his skin as he cradled both hands around his arc reactor. They hadn't taken it out. Fucking hell, they hadn't removed it. Deliberately slowing down his breathing before he started having a panic attack, Tony scanned the room with a practiced eye. Typical SHIELD cell. Not one reinforced for Bruce, Steve or Thor's super-strength.

Peering down at his arc reactor intently, Tony shivered when he realized there was a dent in the metal that hadn't been there prior.

It was directly beside the crease of scarred skin where he'd bolted the initial car battery. This world hadn't realized that the arc reactor wasn't the entire device; hadn't known to remove it's core. Tony was safe in that respect, for now. He shivered, fear making his finger tick against his chest absently.

Before he could fully collect himself, Fury's voice filled the room over the intercom.

"Iron Man attacked London just over an hour ago. So either you aren't actually Iron Man, or you've hired a proxy. We did DNA testing among other things while you slept. Confirms you are in fact Anthony Edward Stark."

"Slept?" Tony snorted sarcastically. "That's the euphemism you're using now? Sleeping it off so you can run nonconsensual invasive tests and attempt body modification on a device you know nothing about? Wow, Fury. I'm shocked. SHIELD's really on top of the whole moral high ground thing that you've got going around here."

There was a pause before Fury's deadpan voice continued, "Tell us more about the device in your chest. Otherwise we'll examine it ourselves. I can assure you that it'll be a lot easier if you just tell us."

Tony crossed his legs as he leaned back against the cold metal wall of the cell and flippantly replied, "Well first off, don't try to remove it unless you want me dead."

He tapped on the center of the arc reactor, inwardly cringing for telling them. God, his worst fucking nightmare could be realized. But right now it was the only card he could play.

"Why exactly should we trust what you're saying?" It was Steve's voice, impatient. "That thing could very well be a weapon."

He ironically assumed that's what this Other-Steve might think. Hydra weapons. Surreal. This Steve and his own were too similar, it was disconcerting.

Tony sighed as he asked rhetorically, almost exasperatedly, "Okay, are you gonna let me explain then? Or are you gonna come in here and bash my head against the bench for saying something you don't like?"

"Stark-" Fury warned.

Heaving a great sigh Tony clasped his sweaty hands around his ankles. His head was pounding. The pain made him feel tired and snappish. Despite his current physical condition, he opened his mouth and did what he did best. Rambled.

"Okay, yeah, long story short. I touched this alien artifact that wasn't mine but was in our lab because Jane was trying to examine it. An explosion, boom, I think I heard Bruce shout my name. So, I wake up and now I'm here being called a super villain yada yada. But I'm not, in fact, a villain, though I can totally understand why the media likes me to make me out as one. Pretty unsavory youtubes abound. Ahem. I am in fact a consulting SHIELD agent and have been for almost what? Six years? Seven years? I'm on SHIELD's side, I always have been. Well, except, you know, occasionally. Doesn't seem like the Tony Stark in this world feels that way however, what a pity.

"And not that you'll believe me," Tony shrugged nonchalantly. "No skin off my back. But you should know, my team are called the Avengers. Since you don't know who Thor is, and he was the catalyst to the Avengers Initiative, what with being all alien tech and stuff, I'm figuring you might not have that here."

Fury, Steve and whoever else was listening obviously seemed content with his word spewing. So he continued.

"Anyway, yeah, so I am apart of this team of badasses and we fight for the safety of mankind. The Avengers, because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!" Tony smiled exuberantly, the memory giving him a boost of confidence.

"We live in my tower in Manhattan. Black Widow, Hawkeye, The Hulk, Thor, Captain America and mu-ahh." Tony pursed his lips.

"Sometimes the X-Men help, sometimes the Incredibles help, sometimes the Guardian's help. Sometimes we are all just fighting against a nonstop shit show and it's all blurred lines. Teamwork and all that jazz. I think the Captain would appreciate that sentiment."

Running through his thoughts he continued, "The Tony Stark in this world sells heavy-duty weapons, doesn't he."

"In the black market, yes." Steve's terse voice responded. "Those weapons have murdered uncountable masses of human beings."

"Stark Industries in my world used to sell weapons, too." Tony sighed, guessing the truth wouldn't hurt in this particular situation. "But we stopped producing them after I was kidnapped by Afghani terrorists and forced on pain of torture to build them a weapon of mass destruction."

Silence filled the room and he knew he was overly-tense as he forced the subsequent words past his chapped lips, "That's how I got the metal in my chest. Terrorists. This metal is keeping shrapnel from entering my heart. Think of it as a pacemaker. It's certainly not a weapon."

Again he paused, stomach roiling, "So instead of building the terrorists what they wanted, I built the first prototype of the Iron Man suit. My buddy Rodney eventually rescued me, yada yada. I made better versions of my armor. I can also assure you, everyone in my world who has access to a television knows Tony Stark is Iron Man. It has never been a hidden fact. I told the press well before Cap was unfrozen. Before Thor came to Midgard."

He knew exactly where the security camera was, so he stubbornly nodded at it and gave them a baleful smile, "But I also know that my team is on the way. They've got my back. I really don't need you to believe my story, even if it is in fact true. You'll see for yourself soon enough."

"Yes," Fury affirmed smugly. "We will."

"Oh, god, Fury, what are you gonna do to me?" Tony didn't flinch. "Murder me? Torture me? Look, hey, let's make this easy. I'll prove it to you just so you know what a bunch of shit heads you guys are being right now. Innocent until proven guilty, indeed."

"Oh?" Fury was amused, baiting, trying to call a bluff which did not exist.

So Tony took a deep breath and began, "Steve Rogers dislikes to be inactive for more than an hour at any given time. He wakes up by five in the morning like clockwork and gets fidgety if he doesn't work out twice a day, partially due to the serum but also because he gets bored in one place and refuses to accept that he has ADD. Steve likes impressionists but isn't fond of modernism, mostly because he thinks squares on a canvas aren't particularly impressive. Hot dogs are his go-to food, but he'll also devour so many hamburgers in one sitting- it's actually a little unbelievable. Reality television makes him really uncomfortable because he gets embarrassed on their behalf. I know Steve prefers chocolate over vanilla and that techno music irritates the snot outta him. Moving on?

"Natasha Romanoff, or whatever alias she goes by these days, is terrifying before she has her tea in the morning. She'd rather spar hand to hand than with weapons because she likes to maintain her flexibility and battling Thor constantly increases muscle mass. Natasha loves a Japanese writer, Murakami, and she learned the Japanese language, plus Kanji, just to be able to read his novels before they become translated. She speaks fourteen languages, and that's only just what she tells us. Nat's ideal afternoon, when not on that adrenaline-high of a mission, is actually kind of cute." Tony grinned boyishly.

He knew this world's Natasha was cringing as he told whoever would listen, "She knits, and gets really into it. Nat's fond of making these silk scarves, using materials her grandmother told her of once upon a time."

Another long pause before Tony blathered away:

"Clint Barton absolutely hates being underground, but I guess that's obvious? Hmmm, he also is a total geek when it comes to new technology. He's one of the most persistent people I've ever met, and never minces words. Clint admires those with bigger body mass, more strength, but he's told me that he's thankful to be small and agile enough to keep up with Nat. Him and Nat have this contest about a red ledger of some sort. They talk about it all the time, and all Nat'll tell me is that it started in Budapest. But what happened in Budapest really is different depending on who you're asking in this instance.

"Okay? Who else? No, not Thor, you don't know him yet. How 'bout Agent Phil Coulson? Oh, our dear Mr. Agent is a super-secret Captain fanatic and carries vintage cards around with him. He is one of the only people both Clint and Natasha trust without question, and he has an eidetic memory. Lucky bastard. Phil is kind of like the underpaid nanny, that can't really differ here. Now Nicholas Joseph Fury-"

"Stop," Fury demanded. His tone was dramatically different now, almost strained.

Steve's voice added softly, "How the hell do you know these things?"

Tony huffed before demanding in disbelief, "Wasn't that the whole fucking point? I am not the motherfucking Tony Stark or Iron Man from this world. I'm from a different world. Seriously. The things I just listed were character traits, not something the random person would know. That is because, as I've been saying, I live with them in the Avengers Tower and they are my team and my friends. You can't refute anything I've said except for maybe nit picky details, can you?"

Tony lifted his gaze towards the security camera, "I already know what you're thinking, too. Typical SHIELD. You are going to plop me in front of the Iron Man of this world and wait to see what happens. That's why your acting so smug. Fury's typical planning, Steve's typical execution."

He sighed when he was given no response, "I hope you at least give me some sort of weapon, because otherwise that's really not fair."

The mic crackled for a moment over the intercom, Steve's voice informing him with a clipped nonchalance, "You're right about one thing, Stark. We'll see what happens when this false Iron Man sees Tony Stark."

Tony grinned humorlessly. "You'll find I perform best when I'm under pressure. Let's get this show on the road, Captain."

TBC.


	2. Brisingamen

The air in the cell smelled impure and noxious. Tony instantly knew that they were introducing sedatives to the ventilation system. He hoped SHIELD wasn't going to try anything shady with his arc reactor this time around. He really didn't need that shit right now.

Resigning himself to his fate, his eyes fluttered closed and allowed his body to go numb. The next time he awoke, Tony was strapped into a helicarrier seat with Captain America sneering at him as he blearily tried to take everything in. At least they'd given him a black sweatshirt to wear, probably was rigged with a tracking device and maybe a bomb, but beggars can't be choosers.

Confronting himself in another world was best done while clothed, he figures. Tony is still cuffed tightly, but thankfully they'd decided to cuff him with his hands in front. The skin around his wrists is puffy and raw. He's going to be a bruised mess when this is all done with, he thinks absently. Steve will not be pleased.

The genius slowly brought the attached cuffs up to rub his index finger around the metal rim of his arc reactor. Flipping his collar down, he double-checked to make sure there was no additional damage. They seemed to have taken him on his word and not messed with the device. That was a relief. But it seemed like they'd taken more blood. He wasn't certain. Tony might just be woozy because of the leftover sedatives.

Tony's throat felt tight and itchy. It almost felt like he was getting a fever. The sensation mostly spread from his chest, not his arc reactor, more like his lungs or very heart was being squeezed just a tad too forcefully. Shaking his head and wetting his lips, he tried to get a handle on himself.

"What's the plan?" Tony inquired, voice cracking as he tried to insert a modicum of politeness to the question. Steve likes people who are polite.

This Captain America didn't seem to give a shit about small talk. His pinched expression spoke volumes.

"I think you should know," Steve replies curtly in his Captain voice. "I don't believe a word you've said."

Tony's eyebrows shot up on his forehead, head lolling back, but he managed to withhold a snort, "Sure."

"I think you've spied on SHIELD agents, including myself. All those facts you were talking about. That's information you could've hacked from personal files."

"So, okay, let's say that's true." Tony reasoned. "Let's say I'm Uber-Evil Iron Man. Trademark pending. And I'm also this weapons-monger Tony Stark, ex-cetera. So, the person who is in the Iron Man suit right now, then, is some proxy? Some imbecile that I threw loads of money at to pretend to be me and pick a fight with super heroes? Okay. Sure, I might do that."

Tony leaned forward with his fingers splayed under his chin, "But, why would I end up captured by SHIELD? I can certainly tell you that this is the absolute last place I'd want to be if I was an enemy of Fury. And why would I tell you…" Tony bit his lip.

"That taking out- the arc," he paused, expelling the words with a strangled gasp. "The metal in my chest, would kill me? If I was truly Mr. Uber-Evil, I would have nothing to gain from telling you that voluntarily. Rather, I could've lied, pretended it was a weapon and held it over your heads. Let alone the fact that if I was evil and stuff, even allowing you guys to get close enough to me to examine me. Or run tests on me while I'm unconscious! Seriously, if I was from this world, yeah, never gonna happen. 'Cause I'm a genius. And no doubt the Stark in this world is also a genius. I've been kidnapped before by terrorists and really don't enjoy the feeling. For what conceivable purpose could I possibly-"

"Psychopaths don't often need a purpose for their acts." Steve cut him off stiffly.

Just as Tony opened his mouth to retort, the helicarrier's emergency alarm blared, red lights flashing blindingly. The sound was shrill and jarring. Tony clutched his hands over his ears until he spotted what triggered the alarm, his jaw nearly dropping.

The Avengers 'A' logo, the one he himself had designed for the Tower, flashed across several monitors. Tony's heart clenched in his chest. A feeling almost like euphoria but closer to sheer relief was almost like a slap to the face. For the first time since he'd arrived in this fucked up dimension, he felt like he might end up okay. His team was searching for him, worried about him.

Steve was worried about him. He'd known that, of course. He really did.

Yet somehow, in a deep and inexplicably dark and secretive part of him, which overflowed with self-loathing- It managed to nudge far too many deep-seeded insecurities. Reminding him of previous betrayals. But Steve was a constant in his life. He was the goddamn sunshine and nutrients and everything the hype had been about. He made Tony want to be better just to be better. It was a relatively new feeling for the man, but he rolled with it.

Natasha was attempting to force quit the hack. Clint took over as pilot while she typed like a maniac. The Avengers logo spins, signaling that a call was connecting.

Natasha spun around from her chair and stood over him with a menacing expression to quietly demand, "What have you done, Stark?

Tony held his cuffs hands up with mock innocence, "It's obviously not me."

Just as those words exited his lips, their heads all spun in unison to look at the main screen. Clint, Natasha and Other-Steve's jaws dropped simultaneously. It would have normally been something Tony would find hilarious, but he was kinda figuring out that dimensional time travel spoiled his mood.

Steve's face appeared on the screen. He has his cowl on, fully geared, and his lips are a thin line. Tony's seen that expression before. It's the one Steve gives Tony when he's scared witless and attempting to keep his emotions on standby. And yah, Tony isn't ashamed to say that he sighs in relief. It's totally his Steve. Tony knew his Steve when he saw him.

Their eyes lock from, literally, across time and space. Does this make Steve the boy-version of Rose to his American Dr. Who? Tony isn't sure.

Tony watched Steve's Adam's apple bounce, memorized his stern and stubborn and painfully beautiful visage. He wants to burn the blue of Steve's protective gaze into his brain, wants to be able to see that color every time he closes his eyes. Tony's heart clenches painfully, poignantly, and suddenly he's missing this man so much his brain might as well've morphed to mush. But now wasn't the time. He'd hold this man in his arms again, even if he died trying.

"_Amalgam_." Tony says. Overly loud and very precise. Natasha and Other-Steve spin to look at him.

The Captain Steve Rogers on-screen nods, just once, face crumpling slightly before inquiring, "JARVIS, ETA?"

"The amount of time Miss Potts usually takes to berate you for not sleeping." A mechanical and British-accented voice pipped in.

What JARVIS means is a few hours, tops. Good.

Tony nods back absently in comprehension, wishing he could smile for Steve. But the connection is terminated seconds later.

As soon as the screens defaults back, his head is painfully jarred backwards by Other-Steve's large hands pulling his hair, baring his throat. Steve tugs viciously into his roots, tears forming in Tony's eyes as he tries to choke down a sharp cry of pain.

"Who was that?" Steve snarled, voice quietly dangerous and petrifying. Tony understands that this manhandling isn't out of anger. It was more because Other-Steve is about to go off the deep end. He's always tended to lash out when he's in a corner being poked by a sharp stick and doesn't know why. After all, Tony thinks, you can't change a person's basic nature.

It doesn't change the fact that Tony's scalp is burning. It feels like he can't get in enough air. His whole body is taunt and shaking, nails biting deep into the softer flesh of his palms.

"That was you. From my world." Tony replies softly, not moving away from Steve's grip and somehow managing maintain a steady voice. "I don't care if you believe me or not."

Tony's body is flung to the unforgiving floor, Steve's hands effortlessly tearing the seat belts to shreds. Super-soldier strength renders him immobile as he spins, forcing his shoulder blades to take the brunt of his fall.

He hits his head, again, and fuck. What is it with this head bashing shit?

Steve roughly kicks him over and presses his elbow sharply at the base of Tony's spine, a nonverbal warning not to move a muscle.

"I don't care if you don't trust me." Tony rasps, rebellious, cheek smashed against cold metal. His breath creates fog on the floor next to his mouth. "He does."

Natasha is calling Steve's name suddenly.

Other-Steve flinched. Then he was pulling back as it he'd been the one slammed down to the floor. Steve stared down at Tony with an unreadable expression, face very nearly blank.

Tony felt the weight of that stare and turned his face away. He tucked his knees to his chest, handcuffs digging into the scarred skin by his reactor. Tony curled pathetically into the fetal position, tears washing down his cheeks from pain. He didn't want to be seen like this, god it made him feel vulnerable.

But he was Tony Motherfucking Stark. The inimitable and slightly mad billionaire philanthropist engineering marvel for Christ's sake! He could do this. He would do this.

"I am a liar," Tony continued gruffly, meeting Other-Steve's gaze. "But I'm not lying about this. I am not the Tony Stark from this world."

His vision blacks out, the last thought spinning through his scattered mind is: Why was this passing out shit also becoming a thing?

The third time he regains consciousness in this dimension, it's utterly freezing out. The smell of crisp air is almost too strong and clean for his lungs. His exhausted body is shaking like a leaf in distress. Tony feels like somebody'd just hit him with a Hydra weapon. Everything hurts, he can't tell what's what anymore.

Clint is the only thing holding him up, they seem to be on a rooftop. The sky is gray above them, it's cold enough that it could be snowing. Cap and Nat flank either side of Clint, weapons drawn. The three are obviously waiting for something.

"Figures," Tony whispers. Inwardly he thinks, I always thought I'd kill myself somehow. Didn't know it would be so ironically literal. Was that considered suicide? If one incarnation of himself killed the other?

Natasha turns to examine him, puffs of fog escaping her mouth as she inquires, "What figures, Stark?"

He's too weak to respond. His breathing turns shallow and he almost passes out again, but Clint shakes him uncaringly. It cracks his spine with a pop and it takes every ounce of willpower Tony has not to whimper.

"Stay awake, Stark." Clint states, face turning to stare up at something.

The sound of repulsers echo off in the distance. Oh, that's why. Just great. He meets himself in another world and of course he looks like a battered doll with his strings cut. As this world's Iron Man draws closer, he can hear the precise moment Other-Tony spots him. Can almost hear himself shouting at JARVIS, trying to rationalize what he was seeing. Mostly because the clink of numerous weapons on the suit are being readied, emergency lockdown mode initiating.

With a thud Other-Tony is standing not even ten feet away.

Tony blinks, staring at this foreign version of his armor. It's hard to say what's different about it, since his mind is so fuzzy, but this suit looks nothing like any of the models he's ever made. It's bulkier, for one thing. Not as aerodynamic, more for power than for agility. It was a moderately smaller version of the Hulkbuster.

But then his vision spots out and when Clint shakes him again he bites his lip so hard it bleeds.

"So, who's this guy?" Iron Man's tinny voice has been modified, rendered unrecognizable. "And why the hell does SHIELD think I'm at their beck and call all of the sudden?"

Natasha is probably giving one of her creepy smiles, "We thought you'd already know who this is."

"Um, Javier Bardem?"

Steve crosses his arms, and nonchalantly mentions, "It's all rather queer."

"You can't say that anymore, Cap," Iron Man's tone is almost admonishing. A pause before asking rhetorically, "It's homophobic and rude nowadays, old man, you wouldn't want to be rude, now would you."

Hearing Other-Tony bait Other-Steve like a pair of sullen school-boys, is, in fact, probably one of the top twenty most bizarre things that's ever happened to him.

Hell, maybe top fifteen. Tony can tell Other-Tony's self control is seconds away from firing every clip of ammo in the suit's reserve at them and turning tail. He knows he does this himself, back straight, chin aloft arrogantly, hands pointing away from his suit in preparation for flight.

"We tested his blood." Steve shrugs in a mocking and flippant manner that is lightyears different from what normal civilians probably thought Captain America sounds like. "This guy is Tony Stark. SHIELD's thought Tony Stark was Iron Man for a while, so no surprise there. And then he confessed. So either you or he must be a proxy, and we'd like to offer you a bargain this afternoon."

Other-Iron Man says nothing.

"Dammit, I am Iron Man," Tony whispers, the words almost slurred.

The assembled group stare at him in unison as if he's shouted at them. They're probably noting how utterly pathetic he looks and concluding that him being Iron Man is inconceivable.

Just at the juncture when this situation might go one of two ways, both were horrid, a bone-rattling boom echoed across the landscape. The subsequent gust of wind was enough to make Natasha crouch to the ground and Steve cover his eyes with his shield. Clint dropped to the ground, taking Tony with him. Clint's hand still clutching Tony's wrist around his neck.

Tony finally realized that he wasn't handcuffed anymore.

"Yesh!" Tony slurred exuberantly. "Fuckin' Bifröst."

Just as those words left him the ground trembled. The Rainbow Bridge hit its landing point with a blinding light, the crackle of electricity buzzing around them with a tangible resonance and weight.

Thor landed magnificently, crouched low to the ground with Mjolnir.

"Anthony." Thor stood, impossibly nerdy crimson cape fluttering in the breeze. Only person Tony knew that could rock that and manage to look majestic as fuck.

"Hey, Thor," Tony waved weakly from where he was still dangling in Clint's grip. "You're my favorite. Have I told you that? You always have been."

Clint's body radiated tension, he was itching to retreat. Steve's gun was trained on Thor, his shield at the ready. Natasha remained crouched, taking in the situation with a blank expression.

Iron Man's repulsers are also aimed directly at the Asgardian. Probably the first time in this world's history that both Iron Man and SHEILD agents were pointing their weapons towards the same threat.

Thor unflinchingly read the situation. He seemed to think this whole thing was a lot less weird than Tony did.

Thor finally peered down at him reproachfully, "You should not have touched Brisingamen, Anthony. We implored you not to."

"I know, I know," Tony cringed meekly. "Yeah, but, can you chew me out later big guy? I'm kinda barely staying conscious here."

"Who the fuck is this?" Iron Man demanded, gesturing towards the demi-god.

"I am Thor of Asgard." Thor boomed authoritatively. "The man of iron's friend and ally."

Well, at least Steve can't say he's lying anymore, Tony figures.

Before the collective group could react, Thor's massive arms were curling around Tony. He was pulled away from Clint without hesitation and with such speed and agility that even Steve was taken aback. They'd barely seen him move. Captain America fired at the strange man, but a massive hammer deflected the bullet, it ricocheted off with a sharp thump. Natasha's attempts to throw her Widow's bite at him was just as easily deflected. Clint jumped away from Thor like the guy could break him in half, which was pretty close to the truth.

Only Iron Man didn't attempt to move, he remained where he was with his repulser still aimed at Tony and Thor.

Once Tony was safe in his arms, the demigod gingerly ran his impossibly large and gentle hands across the back of Tony's neck, "I had anticipated that the necklace's power would cause you discomfort, Anthony. I did not expect you to find you so battered. You look as though you've sent weapons through wormholes again."

Tony smiled in absent amusement at that, "Get me home, Thor."

"I am sorry, Anthony. Such an event cannot occur yet. There is something I must accomplish, first, honorable SHEILD brother."

"Why?" Tony whined pathetically.

"Has you're device been verily paining you?"

"I don't know." Tony mumbled. "Everything hurts."

"Brisingamen is making you mortally ill." Thor nods in a sympathetic and understanding manner before declaring with gusto, "We shall depart and you will receive the rest you require."

Thor juts his chin at the others, curling his arms around Tony, as he stated with menacing promise, "On Odin's word, I shall keep you safe."

"Wait a second-" Natasha blurts.

Thor scowls at her, "Lady Natasha, Anthony is not well."

She very nearly squeaks, "How do you know my name?"

Thor huffs, "What trickery is this?"

"Doppelgangers. Dr. Who." Tony murmurs, nose tucked into Thor's beefy neck. He smelled like sweat and masculinity. "They work for SHEILD, but I don't in this world. Other Iron Man is evil. I guess. Don't know the details."

The Asgardian exhales sharply, turning to Iron Man, "You say that the SHEILD brothers and Son of Stark in this realm are our adversaries?"

Iron Man emits a mechanical snarl, and Tony knew this Other-Tony was freaking the fuck out in a major way.

"Don't call me that!" Iron Man's repulsers heat up.

Thor doesn't answer. He instead spins Mjolnir with expert grace and soars into the sky without another word.

TBC.


	3. Honor

Tony's face burned from the harshly inescapable wind as Thor soared across the sky. His eyes were clenched shut as he listened for the echo of repulsers, fully expecting the other Iron Man to follow them and start shit with Thor. That's what he would've probably done, pre-Afghanistan. Tony was undeniably pleased that they were left alone for now. He knew SHIELD was still tracking them, well aware that he'd been bugged. Likely a chip implanted within his neck. He couldn't find it in him to care. He was so tired. His nose pressed against the curve Thor's neck as he put all his effort into not passing out.

After ten minutes of flight, but what felt like an eternity, Thor dropped and adjusted his hold on Tony. The genius's body wracked with shivers, teeth gritting audibly. After wiping the tears from his eyes with his forearm, he glanced around and tried to regain his bearings. They were in an ally, a feral cat the only witness to their abrupt landing.

"We have much to discuss, SHIELD brother," Thor murmured kindly, sweeping his hand through Tony's chaotic hair with affection. "However, you require shelter and rest."

He nods absently, he can't refute that fact.

"Can you stand for one moment?" Thor requests.

Tony manages another nod, and Thor gently plops him down and props him against a brick wall. Thor's clothes shifted, his Asgardian armor melting away to reveal a button-down and jeans. Thor still looked other-worldly and impossibly buff, but he could pass off as a human.

"I carry Midgardian currency," the demigod continues nonchalantly with his usual cheerful disposition. He understood that his friend couldn't walk on his own, so he pulled Tony back into his arms and hoisted him bridal style without burden. "We shall rent a room!"

Tony wasn't sure if he should be offended. But again, was far too exhausted to give a proper shit. His masculinity wasn't really to be bothered with at this point- not after being drugged and beaten up. And rescued by a flipping god in a red cape, his mind chorused.

Ten minutes later, the entire thing a frankly bizarre blur for Tony, he's being placed into the softest bed he's ever felt and covered with a thick duvet. If there is a heaven, this is what it feels like.

Thor somehow managed to convince the receptionist at the front desk that Tony was inebriated. Since Tony has plenty of experience being drunk, he went along with the act and moaned stupid phrases while begging for sleep and water. The receptionist seemed amused by his antics, and found Thor's strange way of talking quaint. Tony absently thought that he was lucky she didn't recognize him now that his face swollen and bruised.

"You know SHIELD is tracking us," Tony whispered from underneath the blankets as Thor opened the curtains to glance out the window. The sky was still gray, a bleak color. "They'll find us soon enough."

Thor nodded gravely, his eyes scanning the cityscape. "Indeed."

He turned, lifting up one side of the bedding, commanding, "Hold out your wrist, Anthony,"

Tony obediently pulled his arm out from the bedding. Thor wrapped Mjolnir's leather strap tightly around his hand, the hammer resting on the sheets. Brown eyes met blue, a wordless question.

"With Mjolnir beside you," Thor explained patiently, readjusting the blankets again with a reassuring burr. "No one may lay a violent hand upon you, unless you permit them."

"But I can't pick up Myeuh-muh," Tony muttered, using Darcy's slang as his eyes grew heavy. "Only Steve can."

"Nay, however, Thor's will is Mjolnir's."

Tony didn't even hear those words, he was fast asleep.

"Dream brightly, Anthony." The god told his unconscious companion fondly. "For I shall bring you home."

Thor then sighed in the quiet of the room, the noise overly-loud. His stomach felt ill at ease as he paced relentlessly. This was such a mess. In retrospect, it was inescapably foolish of him to leave the artifact in reach of this insatiably curious man. He really should've known better. Tony never listened to orders well. Even if the orders came from the Captain of America, himself.

Thor recalled the expression of sheer panic on Steven's face when JARVIS informed them over the intercom that Tony was suddenly missing. The AI wasn't able to answer many questions, so the group watched the security footage. It hadn't taken long to figure out what happened, and SHIELD was on high-alert.

With Lady Potts's help and quick thinking on his brilliant Lady Jane's part, Steve (through JARVIS), was able to access a satellite in orbit of this other-dimension's Earth. Thor did not pretend to understand how they did it, nor did he care about the specifics. He only knew that some sort of lag time meant they'd have a window of connection, but that would just enough time to make sure this Tony was indeed the one they were looking for.

Steve was certain it would be him, though, since they'd found his location using the GSP imbedded inside his arc reactor. Only Tony himself, Pepper and Steve had the ability to utilize this GPS. Fury was angry that he hadn't been given clearance, but Steve was adamant that Tony's tech was Tony's tech. End of story.

So the Avengers initiated the first inter-dimensional phone call hack. Thor knew he'd be sick with the effect of Brisengamen. But they'd not anticipated a bruised and battered Tony, restrained in a helicarrier, with an ominous version of Captain America looming over him.

Amalgam. The long-held last resort code, only to be used in the most dire of emergencies. Tony had called it the 'shit is fucked up beyond fucked' code. Steve dubbed it the point of no return. None of the Avengers dared mutter that word, despite how seemingly desperate situations often became during their battles.

But Tony used the code, and the Avengers grew anxious, knowing something was very wrong.

Fury insisted that they study the situation, figure out what was different in this other-dimension before proceeding. Bruce and Steve immediately scoffed at the idea, aghast that Fury would suggest they wait any longer after seeing Tony's abysmal condition. If this world didn't know about the arc reactor, heaven forbid if this world took it out of the genius… If Tony died by those hands on their watch. It was maddening.

Thor was the one to volunteer to retrieve him, informing them he could easily utilize the Bifröst. That seemed like a super plan, for all of five minutes. Then Sif landed in the middle of SHIELD headquarters and furiously demanded Thor's explanation for Brisingamen's sudden spike of activity. All hell broke loose shortly after that.

Between them, information was scarce. The group collectively managed to figure out that:

A) Tony touched Brisingamen despite numerous warnings not to, and was blasted into another dimension.

B) Brisingamen held the tendency to absorb itself into the flesh of mortals and slowly sucked their life away. It happened a few times during the Midgardian Middle Ages, until they brought the necklace back to Asgard. This power was often exacerbated if the host was stressed and injured.

C) Tony was already up shit's creek without a paddle and it was very likely if they brought him home Brisingamen's resonance would kill him. (This fact was elaborated and debated about by both Jane and Eric, in very technical terms that no one besides themselves understood.)

D) Sif was pissed, but not as pissed as Odin for Thor's foolishly bringing Brisingamen back to Earth in the first place.

E) The only being who could remove Brisingamen was Freya herself. Freya was currently nowhere to be found.

Thor sat down on the sofa, fingers tucked under his chin as he debated his next course of action. Sif had gone searching for Freya, she'd been sure Freyr would be able to easily locate her. In the mean time Thor was supposed to kill time and try not to get them into too much trouble. Easier said than done.

A sharp knock to the door brought him out of his thoughts. He knew it would be this dimension's version of Fury. After checking on Tony once more, he opened the door and closed it behind him.

Fury, Natasha, Steve and Clint stood at the ready, looking for a fight. Thor was amused by this boastful nature, and smiled warmly at them, forgetting himself.

"Hello, other dimension SHIELD brothers. Anthony tells me you are my enemy?"

Fury was taken aback before he deadpanned, "You're apparently Thor. The Norse deity of thunder."

"Aye," Thor gestured down the hall with an arm, "Perhaps we should sit and you may ask your questions and I shall answer them?"

He paused, "But only if you you assure me you shall not attack Anthony while he rests."

Other-Steve pursed his lips, a sour look crossing his face, "Fine, you have our word."

Thor nods, and the group walked over to a small corridor with couches before taking a seat. They sat in silence for almost a minute before Fury opened his mouth and began talking.

"How can you prove you're actually the Thor of legends? Because that shit seems pretty fucking far fetched to me."

Thor chuckled absently, twining his hands together on his lap, "For now you must have faith that I speak the truth. The SHIELD brothers in my dimension are both my friends and ally. We have fought together in many a battle, slewed mutual enemies under the name of Avengers. Together we protect our fragile realm and its people. We fight for Midgard's continued peace and prosperity."

"Iron Man is a genocidal maniac. I still don't believe any of this." Steve said harshly, glaring at Thor with disgust. It was an expression the god had never had directed towards him. It made him wary.

"The man of iron in our world is a hero, verily." Thor rebutted sharply. "He has saved the lives of countless millions in the metropolis of New York, after my brother's sordid attempts to take over Earth with an alien army. Since, he has proven his worthiness and bravery on countless occasions. I trust Anthony Stark with my life."

"Alien army?" Clint echoed in disbelief. "You gotta be kidding me."

"Nay, I speak not in jest." Thor's eyebrows scrunched in sudden dismay. Understanding hit him like an expertly aimed arrow, and his spine stiffened. "Now I comprehend; how unpleasant."

"What do suddenly understand?" Natasha's tone was blank and polite, fishing.

"I had originally assumed Anthony's condition was due to Brisengamen. Now I realize that this is not the case."

Thor's inflection was icy, judging. "You were the ones who harmed him, were you not? Did he not try to explain himself to you?"

Thor stood, pacing, almost unable to believe that any incarnation of this group would harm Iron Man. It was inconciaveable.

"He's a genocidal maniac," Steve repeated stoically. "He needs to be-"

"He is a man of valor and honor!" Thor boomed, suddenly very angry on his friend's behalf. "The Anthony Stark of this world may in fact be a man of fallen morals, however he is -not- our Anthony. This fact should have been made clear upon Steven's call and after Anthony spoke the word of code, amalgam."

Other-Steve's face went pale in memory. The sight of his own face staring at Tony Stark as if he were the sun and moon and stars. It somehow made him furious and antsy, despite himself.

"The Nicolas Fury of my realm warned me of your probable attempts to separate me from Anthony." Thor intoned dramatically.

He exclaimed with a flourish, "Fury stated that after my arrival, SHIELD would, as per some regulation, attempt to quarantine both Anthony and I. I am verily gratified that you are unable to bring farther harm to the man of iron, despite your best attempts."

Clint side-glanced at Fury, Steve's shoulders tightened, and Fury leaned forward diplomatically.

"If what you are saying is true, then it shouldn't bother you to be taken into our custody. If we are in fact your ally, there is no reason to mistrust our intentions."

"Yet you have harmed Anthony, who is innocent of the crimes you profess." Thor spat, repressed anger radiating off him. "I therefore have no reason to trust what you say."

"Vice versa," Natasha pointed out. "We don't know if we can trust the crazy story you're telling us, either."

The god returned to his seat in resignation, "That may very well be true."

Just as he opened his mouth to say something else, a nervous-looking agent popped around the corner.

"Um, sir-"

"Your misguided attempt to kidnap Anthony was not successful?" Thor rhetorically asked the unnamed man, a smug smile splitting across his face.

The agent flinched, twitching awkwardly, "Um-"

Fury motioned for the agent to depart, and he did so promptly and with much relief. The agent hadn't wanted to be the one to tell Director Fury what happened, but he'd drawn the short end of the stick. When they tried to get near Tony Stark a bolt of lightening incapacitated an agent, and they'd panicked. And damn. Nobody wanted to be the bearer of bad news, especially to Director Fury.

"I have given Anthony the mighty Mjolnir. And he will keep it in his possession until we leave this bastardized dimension."

"Mjolnir," Clint crossed his arms over his chest. "That's the big hammer you were using?"

"Aye. I shall thus break a deal with you, Fury." Thor told the man, "We will come with you quietly to the SHIELD base, but you may not lay a finger upon him."

He considered something before adding, "Or upon myself. Anthony and I are awaiting the Lady Freya to arrive and break the curse of Brisengamen. Until the spell relinquishes its hold, my friend will be very ill. You may not touch him, or force anything upon him. Do you accept these terms?"

Fury seemed to know when to concede, so he did. "Agreed."

Natasha and Clint bolted to their feet, and in unison shouted, "Sir!"

Steve continued to sit, he sized up Thor cautiously. "Will you help us catch the Iron Man of this world to prove your story?"

Thor scowled in disgust, "Nay, Steven, I shall never. It is not my place to intercede on your behalf in this realm."

"But you did in this Other-Dimension, apparently." Steve continued tersely. "If what you're saying is true-"

"Circumstances were different in that world, and I hold no allegiance to humans who would harm a hero."

"Oh?" Steve echoed, the noise almost sarcastic.

"You're attempts to pry information from me are transparent, Steven." Thor added, a softer emotion releasing the edge to his words. "Though I know our Captain is often equally headstrong and stubborn."

Steve didn't like to think about another version of him, so he dropped the matter.

Within the next half-hour, under Other-Fury's watchful eye, Tony was carried by Thor to a helicarrier and they were carted back to HQ and deposited in a cell. Thor was normally repellent to give in so easily, and without a proper fight, but Fury's advice had been to follow their orders and keep Tony safe. This he could accomplish.

Thor knew that Midgardians liked to utilize drugs to incapacitate humans, but those drugs held no effect on his alien anatomy. Other-Fury figured that out soon enough, and was equally distraught by that fact. Tony slumbered, blissfully unaware of his surroundings. So Thor waited and kept watch over him like a fretful parent over their vulnerable child.

After several hours of waiting in the cell, Fury asked Thor if he would come out and answer a few more questions. Thor hesitated, but knew his mighty hammer would keep Tony safe and sound. He eventually acquiesced. Thor knew Fury was itching for information, and also knew that the Steven of this world was equally uneasy.

It was same room which Thor recalled his SHIELD brothers fighting over Loki. Thor found himself sitting at a table with people that he knew, but equally did not know. It was disconcerting. Dr. Banner was missing from the group, but Thor could name the others, including a very-much-alive Other-Coulson.

"So, you are from a place called Asgard." Fury began.

"Aye."

"And how did you end up on Earth?"

This line of questions was easy for Thor to answer, "I was boastful in my youth and courted violence. My father, the great Odin, banished me for my foolish behavior."

"He banished you to Earth." Fury reiterated.

"Yet he left me Mjolnir, to pick up again when I became worthy of the power of Thor."

"Okay," Clint cried, exasperated. "Power of Thor? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"For a time I was as weak as a human," Thor replied thoughtfully. "I eventually regained my power and title."

"Humans are not weak," Steve mentioned caustically.

Thor glanced at him, amused, "I do not speak of super-soldiers, Captain of America."

The group seemed utterly shocked at his casual mention of super soldiers.

"I know the line of inquiry which you wish to ask, so I shall explain thus." Thor heaved a great sigh and began:

"My adopted brother, the trickster Loki, attempted to take over Earth. He used a weapon called the Tessaract to open a portal through the realms. He did such to bring his Chitauri army to demolish the Earth so that he may reign. I met the Avengers shortly after, though I must admit we did not agree on many matters outside of the battlefield. Yet, we fought together, and triumphed. Anthony, shortly after this battle, invited each of us to reside with him in his tower."

Thor chuckled in recollection, "He purchases my Pop Tarts and has taught me how to use the Facebook and the Twitter upon the web of internet. The Avengers found a home and have since been a mighty clan, capable of almost anything you might imagine."

The other agents remained silent as he elaborated, "Anthony has always possessed an insatiable curiosity, however. My dear Lady Jane wished to examine the molecular-something or another on Freya's necklace, so I obligingly brought it forth to the Avengers Tower. I ought to have known Anthony would be unable to help himself, and would desire to examine the object. When he touched it, he was brought over to this dimension. I know not the details. However-"

Thor paused, his subsequent tone pained, "Humans were not meant to touch Asgardian relics. I've learned this time again. Thus, I wait for Freya to arrive so I can transport Anthony safely back to our Midgard. I know that Steven and Bruce are most anxious about his safety and well-being."

"Captain America is worried about Stark?" Fury asked incredulously.

"Verily so." Thor affirmed. "The Captain had been friends of Anthony's father, but that is a much longer story and I digress. I have a feeling that our Captain is very much going to punish your Captain for his rough treatment of Anthony."

"What?" Steve was affronted, he'd only treated that villainous man as he'd deserved.

"Steven and Anthony are the closest of companions," Thor mention, almost idly, as he parsed out his next words. "Which is why I assume he did not fight back against your attempts to harm him."

Steve thought about Stark on his knees in pain. The way his eyes flashed up in utter disbelief when Steve called him a villain. He thought about the way Stark rambled on and on about people who were his enemies, but who he spoke of as if they were close friends. A sick feeling pooled in his gut. Had he been wrong? Was this guy really actually telling the truth?

"But what about Iron Man?" Natasha asked after a long moment.

"What of him?"

"The Iron Man in this world is a villain, through and through. He's attacked innocents, destroyed cities, hacked databases. Yet you say that the Tony Stark sitting in our cell right now is some sort of hero. Can we conclude that this dimension's Iron Man is in fact Tony Stark, also? A doppelganger?"

Thor brought his fist to his mouth, and thought for a long moment. "The machinery which Anthony creates cannot be created by anyone else, of this I am certain."

The air in the room palpably shifted. Clint stood, pacing as Thor often did himself.

"So, what changed in that world?"

Fury scowled, "What Stark told us was that he was kidnapped and became Iron Man after that."

"You speak the truth." Thor affirmed readily. "What SHIELD has told me on their glass screens is that-"

"Glass screens?" Steve interrupted.

"The tablets not written upon stone or paper, the ones which access the wonders of the internet," Thor explained.

"You mean an i-Pad?" Natasha asked.

"He calls them 'Stark-Tech' in my world." Thor admitted, a little wary to admit his general confusion with human technology. "I know not of how they work, however I find them magnificent. Anthony has manipulated my glass screen so that I may play the game of angry birds and use the societal media. I find it most educational. It is complicated, as the Facebook says."

"Okay," Fury tried to continue, however a loud burst of noise brought the entire SHIELD staff to the ground.

When they lifted their heads, a fully-armed Captain America, Black Widow and Hawkeye stood at the ready, mere feet from Thor.

Thor brightened automatically, "My friends!"

He stood, "Why have you come? We have been waiting patiently for Freya as you requested."

Steve Rogers squared his shoulders and demanded with an emotion that the other-SHIELD agents couldn't identify, "Where is Tony?"

"Safe," Thor assured hastily.

"His GPS went out!" Hawkeye shouted, the frustration in his voice apparent.

Steve met Other-Steve's gaze from across the room.

"Where is Tony?" Steve repeated, looking back towards Thor. His modified vibranium shield was clenched tight to his hand, leaving no room for augment.

"Take me to him. Right now, Thor."

TBC.


	4. His Protectors

At the Marvel Event they announced the line up for Phase Three! Civil War, Doctor Strange, Thor: Ragnarok, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Inhumans AND Avengers Infinity War Part I & II. Ahhhhhh. I geeked out.

Then I watched the extended trailer for Age of Ultron. When Steve almost picked up Mjolnir, Thor's expression, I kinda had a fangirl attack.

Anyway, I hope this chapter isn't too confusing. It's kinda hard to write about two versions of the same person in the same room. Oh, and Happy Halloween, y'all.

* * *

><p>"Steven," Thor interrupted deftly with his hand aloft in a placating gesture. His attempts to calm his friend proved futile. Thor was confused why they'd suddenly arrived, and a little upset and miffed that Heimdall brought them forth to this realm when he was more than capable of protecting Anthony himself.<p>

Because he was absolutely certain Anthony wasn't currently in any danger. Steve was having none of it.

"Now, Thor." Captain America all but growled, his stance equally agitated and menacing.

Beside him, Black Widow and Hawkeye managed to glare in unison at Other-Fury while not looking like they were glaring at all. It was a spy thing. It creeped Fury the hell out despite himself. He'd had that same glare aimed at him before, more times than he could count. But this other version of Black Widow and Hawkeye seemed distrustful of him. That fact grit on his nerves.

"Tony Stark is in a cell downstairs." Fury stated, notably strained. "He's currently sleeping. I'll take you, Captain."

He gestured for Steve to follow. Steve curtly nodded towards his companions, an unspoken command for Black Widow and Hawkeye to remain with Thor. Clint was a little disappointed. He'd really like to be a fly on Tony's cell wall, just to see what was about to happen. He had a feeling Fury was about to get the 'life choices' talk by an angry Cap, golden comedy material right there.

Steve was already one step behind Fury as they took the closest elevator down to the cells. He didn't glance back.

Other-Steve's face was white as a sheet. He found himself unable to believe what was occurring right in front of him. His harsh treatment of Tony Stark didn't bother him, per say. It was more that there was indeed another version of him in this universe, one that was somehow friends with a genocidal maniac. Where these Avengers actually evil, but masquerading as heros? The question was on the tip of his tongue, but something held him back from vocalizing it.

"Well, this is pretty weird." Other-Clint mentioned idly from his spot across the table. Black Widow glanced towards him with a pert frown.

"At least the SHIELD brothers from this world will now believe our tale." Thor rumbled thoughtfully, sounding somewhat amused.

Natasha turned to Thor, her disposition nonchalant, "What do you mean, Thor?"

"The Captain of America and SHIELD brothers in this dimension were hesitant to believe that our Anthony is not a super villain of the highest caliber."

Clint snorted, crossing his arms, the sound void of amusement and terse, "Yeah, fucking right. Tony Stark, Iron Man, a goddamn super villain? That's fucking crazy. On what front page of what sleazy tabloid?"

"That is similar to my sentiments upon the topic," Thor affirmed, sitting back around the table with casual ease. "I told them tales of the man or iron's bravery, however they were most reluctant to accept my words."

Clint and Natasha hovered near Thor's shoulder, subtly scanning their eyes around the room. They were clearly trying to figure out what was different in this dimension, besides the obvious tells. It seemed like Stark Tech wasn't popular in this realm. The machinery around them appeared quaint and retro after being so desensitized to the razzle and glam of Tony's lab.

"Anthony's locating device went awry?" Thor inquired after an awkward few moments of silence, questioning blue gaze peering over at Natasha curiously.

Black Widow was currently having a stare-down with Other-Natasha. It was rather entertaining for both sets of Clint to watch. Identically beautiful faces were utterly blank and devoid of emotion.

Then Black Widow turned to address the god, "Shortly after you left, the signal died abruptly. We thought at first because of the connection-gap, but Rogers freaked out. He had Dr. Foster call Heimdall. Heimdall didn't want to send us here, was really against it, said you had the situation covered. Rogers convinced him anyway.

Thor raised an eyebrow incredulously until Natasha added, "You've seen his kicked puppy dog pout. Has Stark been out of your sight at all since you arrived in this dimension?"

"Nay, Lady Natasha." Thor frowned absently, "Could it have perhaps been Mjolnir?"

"Stark can't carry Mjolnir, we all know that." Clint cocked his head. "And why would it even matter? You've flown with Iron Man before. Hell, you've hit him with lighting using your hammer. And it never caused a problem to his reactor, at all."

"We haven't attempted to check Stark's GPS while he's in flight with Thor." Natasha pointed out. "Nor during training."

"Probably because we didn't even know he had a damn GPS in his arc reactor." Clint grunted moodily. "Would've been nice to have a heads up on that."

"My friends," Thor boomed. "I believe I hold the answer to your plight. I've given Anthony Mjolnir. It's mighty will is bound to Anthony while we are trapped within this other-dimension. I've done so for his safety. He was verily bruised when I came upon him in this realm. At first I attributed these injuries to his usual reckless nature, however…"

Thor sighed, countenance crumpling.

Clint and Natasha glanced at each other over Thor's head, before they turned to the assembled group.

Besides Other-Steve, Natasha and Clint, only this world's version of Coulson remained in the room. Minor SHIELD agents had booked the hell out the door as soon as they'd arrived. Some things were too fucking crazy for even the best trained SHIELD agents in the world. The collective-other group (except Natasha) wore identical expressions of disbelief and dismay. They seemed to be itching to ask questions, but Natasha had plenty of her own.

"So, you want to tell us how Stark got so beat up?" Natasha pointedly asked Other-Steve with a disapproving scowl.

Other-Steve refused to be bullied or take the bait, "Even if the Tony Stark from your world is some good guy, and I still doubt that, it doesn't change the fact that the Iron Man in ours is an abomination."

Clint stiffened at the harsh words, but Other-Clint was quick to butt in, "Iron Man has killed countless people both with his suit and with his schemes. In the last month he unleashed the Hulk inside a heavily populated city in India. The damage alone to property was in the billions, let alone the loss of life."

Clint was having a hard time believing Other-Clint. Which was fifty shades of ironic, since they were technically the same person.

"Tony made Brucey-bear attack India?" He sputtered incredulously. "But Bruce adores India!"

"I highly doubt that your facts regarding that event are completely accurate, even before knowing the full story." Natasha agreed. "I don't know the Iron Man from this dimension, but I know Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. I wrote the file on them both."

"And what does that tell you?" Other-Natasha inquired softly. It was incredibly surreal to be asking herself a question, and despite her training Other-Natasha was wary and on edge. This entire situation was quietly freaking the hell out of all of them.

"Well for one thing," Clint mentioned idly as if talking about the weather. "Bruce could've accidentally Hulked out, easy-peasy lemon squeezey. It's not like it hasn't happened before. A bunch of times. That can't really be different in this world. For another-"

"Silence, SHIELD brothers," Thor cut him off, the entire room turning to stare at the god. "I do not think it wise of us to interrupt the flow of this dimension any more then we already have."

"Pfffff!" Clint cackled in astonishment, "Seriously, big guy? We've already fucked up things so bad, this world might as well have the word Amalgam hovering over the atmosphere in ostentatiously flashing letters. With like, a shitty background gradient and shitty gory font and everything."

"Amalgam," Captain America muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. Images of Stark's face intently telling Other-Steve the word played in his head. The grave, almost desperately pleading way which he'd said that word. "Thor told us that Amalgam is a code word. What does it mean, exactly?"

Natasha gracefully sat at the table opposite from him, more than ready to give Other-Steve a harsh dose of reality. Secrecy at this point held no tangible value.

"It's our code-word for the point of no return." She informed them in her no-nonsense manner. "When we started the Avengers Initiative, we picked several phrases, codes. Things that would only mean something to us. Stark was the person who coined the term Amalgam."

"Amalgam doesn't mean 'my life is in danger' or anything petty like that." Clint affirmed gravely. "Because our lives are in danger almost all the time. It means something closer to 'I think a nuke might be heading for New York City' or-"

"Aliens are invading London again," Natasha added.

"Or, my brother Loki has started mischief." Thor sighed.

"So 'my life is in danger' is kinda close to what it means but," Clint mused, nodding to himself. "More like, super dire danger."

"The sort of situation which could end all things," Thor continued, gravely.

"Dire danger squared?" Natasha chimed in, earning a belated grin from both Thor and Clint.

Other-Steve opened his mouth to speak, but stopped abruptly.

Their Steve appeared, cradling an unconscious Tony carefully in his arms, Fury trailing behind him hesitantly. Steve's face had morphed into something akin to sheer disgust. He clutched Mjolnir in one hand, balancing Tony mostly with the other.

"They tried to mess with his arc reactor," Steve explained. Other-Steve stiffened.

"What!" Clint bellowed at the same moment that Natasha bolted to her feet to pull the SHIELD sweatshirt away from Tony's chest.

Together her and Steve peered at the reactor, noting the damage with a blooming feeling of incomprehensible anger. Tony's handsome face was bruised and swollen, his lip split, they both knew that his clothing covered up additional injuries. The poor guy looked like he'd just finished a boxing match with the Hulk.

"What did you do?" Her voice cracked as she spun on the Other-Dimension versions, eyes flashing and weary.

"We thought it was a weapon," Fury informed them, and the way he said it told them he'd been trying to explain this fact to their Steve. "We couldn't have known-"

"Good god, Director Fury!" Steve shouted suddenly, curling Tony protectively in his arms. "I can't imagine Tony didn't tell you not to touch it. You could've killed him!"

"Well, he did tell us, but-" Fury blurted.

"What's the situation with Freya?" Their Clint talked right over him. "Because I'm suddenly totally agreeing with Thor, dudes. We need to get out of this fucked up dimension, ASAP. We need to get Tony home."

A silence echoed across the room. Tony looks small and innocent, wrapped up in Steve's arms.

"With friends like these, who needs enemies?" Natasha asked rhetorically.

Steve's body was nearly shaking, he glared with disgust at this other version of himself and found that he couldn't even speak he was too upset.

"Steve?" Tony awoke, voice scratchy. He felt bleary and dazed and gross.

"Hey," Steve replied softly, the aggression melting from his stance so quickly it was hard to notice the transition. "Yeah, it's me."

"Are you really you?" Tony murmured, nose tucked near the star in the center of his uniform.

"Yeah, I'm really me." Steve echoed. "Gonna make me prove it, Shellhead?"

Tony shook his head in negation, eyes unfocused as he glanced towards Natasha and Clint. He lifted his hand weakly, "Hey guys. Thanks for coming."

"When we get back, after Pepper has screamed at you about irresponsibility for an appropriate amount of time," Steve intoned. "We are going to have a very long conversation about touching Asgardian relics. But to give you an abridged version right now: don't."

"Yep," Tony agreed with a whisper. "Don't grab alien tech. Understood, Cap."

"To answer your inquiry," Thor mentioned quietly, eyes trained on Tony. "I know not of Freya's whereabouts. Freyr is still searching for her, as are Sif and the Warrior's Three."

"Okay, I think we all just need to sit down and have a little chat," Fury intoned, trying to reign in this unfathomably insane situation.

Steve scowled, shoulders tensing, "I have nothing to discuss with the SHIELD from this world."

"But Captain-" Fury snorted.

"How dare you hurt him!" Steve shouted, all the repressed worry and fear openly readable on his face. "He is not the Tony Stark from your world, how else can we possibly prove that to you? This Tony Stark is fucking amazing, and Iron Man is a hero, through and through!"

"Can I get that on tape?" Tony murmured, feeling a lot better as his lips brushed Steve's pulse point discretely. Hearing the thrum of Steve's heartbeat eased him, made him feel safe. His protector.

No, he thought, his protectors. These people who came for him, who worried about him, who loved him.

"You just cussed, Mon Capitan." Tony smiled, just a mere twitch on the corner of his mouth. Steve noticed it and his heart swelled with affection.

"Now is not the time for jokes, Tony." Steve stated gently, albiet reproachfully.

Thor paced, anxious, "This set of SHIELD brothers could not have known Anthony was not from their realm."

"Which is why we need to know what happened from the moment he arrived." Natasha leaned forward and brushed her hand delicately through Tony's hair, careful not to bump his head. He'd taken several knocks, that much was clear. He likely had a concussion. Thor probably shouldn't have let him sleep, but the situation was too dire to do much about it.

Other-Natasha answered, voice carefully modulated, "He arrived with a bang, suddenly appearing in the heart of SHIELD HQ. He told us he was Iron Man, so we placed him in a cell. Did our usual exams on criminals."

"The usual exams don't include fucking with tech embedded inside somebody's body," Clint spat. "And not without their consent! Don't preach SHIELD procedures at us, Other Widow. 'Cause we of all people know it's complete and total bullshit."

"They didn't know my arc wasn't concentrated in my chest." Tony muttered, head lolling against Steve's shoulders. "They probably took x-rays and assumed the metal attached to my rib cage was part of it, and they didn't have time to remove it."

"So you examined him." Clint reiterated calmly, his eyes blazing with indignation. "Then what?"

"Then-" Natasha began.

"Then 'ey thought it 'uold be supa' stealth-like ta plop me in front of Iron 'an." Tony's words grew more slurred as he talked. "'Cause 'ey thought he was proxy."

Steve's lips curled into a frown, "So, they knew you were Tony and Iron Man, and assumed somebody like Rhodney was piloting your suit?"

"Prob'bly." Tony nods, his eyes growing heavy. "I 'on't feel good…"

"The effects of Brisengamen are stealing your strength." Thor sighed despondantly, "We haven't much time."

"How long we talking?" Natasha asked.

"I know not."

"Wait-" Steve paced as Tony passed out, cradled in the safety of his arms. "So you sent Tony in front of this Other Iron Man and then what happened."

"Iron Man didn't believe us." Other-Clint frowned, gesturing with his chin towards Thor. "But then this guy shows up, calls him the Son of Stark-" Steve winced. "And took off with him. So Iron Man took off in the opposite direction."

"How hard did his head get hit?" Natasha asked, gaze focused on Tony.

Fury waved his hand flippantly, "Does that matter right now?"

The reaction from the Avengers was instantaneous and righteous.

"Who the fuck do you think you are-" Clint roared.

"Let's get out of here." Steve commanded. Thor and Clint moved towards him.

"Wait!" Agent Coulson blurted, it was the first time he'd spoken up. "Just, wait- okay? Let's all calm down folks, this is weird enough as it is. We'll explain. We'll get this sorted out. Tony Stark was hit on the head three times. He's pretty drugged up on sedatives right now, and when we tried to check for a concussion Thor wouldn't allow us near him."

"I wonder why." Steve snarled, deftly handing Thor Mjolnir before tracing his fingers across the bruises on Tony's neck. The marks were exactly the shape and size of his own hand. The thought that he'd caused Tony pain, that some form of Captain America beat the shit out of Tony like a bully would- It made him sick to his stomach.

His blue eyes blazed into an identical pair, "How dare you touch him,"

Other-Steve stood, slamming his hands on the table. "I had no way of knowing that this monster wasn't the real thing!"

Thor spun, reaching Other-Steve in a few paces, expertly lifting him by his collar so quickly Other-Steve couldn't fight back, "I would reconsider the choice of words you emit, Captain of America."

Tony whimpered. Steve shuddered and spooned the unconscious genius closer to him, Tony's arm curling around his neck. Steve's nose dropped to the top of Tony's head, trying to not think about what might have happened if Thor hadn't arrived when he did. The Other-SHIELD agents watched in something akin to awe as Steve held Tony like he was something precious, something worth protecting.

Fury shook his head, "Okay, okay, let's calm down everyone-"

"You have no right to make demands from us!" Steve bellowed.

"Do you think this version of SHIELD are bad guys?" Natasha aimed the question at Clint.

Other-Steve flinched, eyes locked on Tony.

"We could say the very same thing." Other-Natasha quipped.

"Except for the fact that our SHIELD would've never hurt him!" Clint snarled, fists clenched. "If an evil Tony showed up in our world, the last thing we would've done was beat him up and try to fuck with his goddamn arc reactor."

"Perhaps you do know better than us." Other-Natasha said, sadly. "You are right, we shouldn't have let the Captain rough him up. That was wrong. But, you do need to understand that the Iron Man of this world is in fact a mass-murderer."

"So you'd beat the shit out of this world's Iron Man just to feel better?" Clint retorted.

Other-Natasha pursed her lips, before giving a tight nod. "Yes, we would. Thor speaks of this person called Loki. Did you treat him well and leave him unharmed?"

"Considering when we got to him-" Steve began.

"Fucking fuck!" Clint cried out, downright feral. "Loki is a monster who took over my fucking mind with his fuckary, and we knew it was him, he was never pretending not to be! And besides-"

"My brother is not as frail as Anthony, nor bewitched." Thor added. "When the formidable Hulk stopped him from his schemes, he was left with barely a scratch. Asgardians are not as easily injured as Midgardians."

"That sounds like a useless justification," Other-Clint snorted.

"Can 'ou guys keep it down?" Tony whispered, curling his hand around Steve's arm. "Head hurts."

"Um," An agent popped in the room, looking very much like they'd rather cut their own hand off than deliver this message. "So, apparently Iron Man is attacking Chicago-"

Fury rushed towards an (in their opinion) outdated computer. "Bring up the footage."

The Iron Man doppelganger was shooting his repulsers off, they couldn't see what he was aiming at. His suit was different from Tony's, bulky, less agile. It looked closer to the armor Tony built right after Afghanistan, nothing like the suit Tony currently piloted.

Steve's jaw clenched, "Thor-"

Thor smirked, easily forgetting about his previous plans to stop them from interfering in this worlds affairs.

"I shall depart Captain. Keep Anthony safe in my absence."

With that the god flung himself out the window and towards the chaos in the city of Chicago.

TBC.


	5. Comprehension & Error

Thor's armor folded around him fluidly before he dropped far from the window, grip tight on Mjolnir. He flew as swiftly as his hammer would take him, heart pounding in his chest. SHIELD HQ in this world was nestled unnoticed in a small town in Wisconsin. With his excellent sense of direction he landed in Chicago within fifteen minutes flat, antsy to understand the situation he was suddenly and inexplicably in the center of. The echo of repulsers guided him past skyscrapers until he spotted the red and gold of Iron Man.

Iron Man was blasting a team of silver bots, with efficiently expert ease. Thor watched the valiant fight for a long moment before he was spotted. Iron Man hovered near him, keeping a watchful eye on the bots around him.

"Oh damn, not you again." Iron Man's mechanical voice was almost petulant.

"Hello, Other-Iron Man," Thor boomed cheerfully. "I wish to have a word."

"What, gonna rat me out to SHIELD?" Iron Man grunted, hitting another silver bot head on. "Arrest me? Beat the shit out of me?"

Thor raised his hammer and called lightening as his response. Twelve fierce bolts shattered the remaining bots with precision and ease. Iron Man halted mid-air. He was obviously debating something mentally.

"Okay," Iron Man finally consented with weary resignation. "What are your words, then?"

"I wish to know why you attack robots which you've made."

A long pause, before a startled, "How-"

"I recognize Stark Tech when I see it." Thor commented, perching on the edge of a building and bringing his hand to his chin thoughtfully. "I am startled that others do not."

A mechanical sigh emitted from the armor. "You won't believe me, guy. You've said you're with SHIELD."

"I am," Thor affirmed dutifully. "However it is with the SHIELD brothers of my world, not this one. I hold no allegiance with the SHIELD in this realm, as they have harmed my friend and ally."

"You mean the, uh, other me."

"Aye. That I do."

"Let's just pretend this entire fucking day isn't bat-shit insane for one moment." Another long pause where Thor remained silent. "Okay, that was a good moment. Follow me, Sparks."

Thor took off. And they flew together, Thor blindly trusting this man whom the world considered a villain. Thor knew that even suited up, Iron Man posed no threat to his safety. As they soared across the sky, he spotted several cameras recording them but the Asgardian paid them no mind. The city eventually disappeared behind them. Iron Man descended into a thick patch of woods on the outskirts of Chicago. Thor dropped beside him with practiced ease. Their only company was a couple startled squirrels. It was almost nostalgic, and reminded him of the first time he'd met Anthony and Steven. They'd fought then, but the Avengers hadn't truly understood each other yet.

"JARVIS, block out any radio transmitters within a ten mile radius." Iron Man told his AI. "And warn me if anyone is coming, you know the drill."

A hiss emitted from the suit and Iron Man's face plate flipped open, revealing the tired face of this world's Tony Stark.

"I guess you already know who I am." Tony stated ruefully.

Thor nodded, patiently waiting for this complicated man to sort out his thoughts.

"Okay, this's fucking weird." He sighed despondently. "So that other dude really was me?"

"Aye."

"Fuck. That's just… insane. And this other me works for SHIELD in your- um, world?"

"Aye."

"Huh. This other version of me must be a pushover."

"No, he is brave and strong and very wise. Anthony is my close friend and I would do much to protect him." Thor added softly, "Our world is verily different. Events occurred in our realm which perhaps did not in yours. For example, Anthony was kidnapped in a country named Afghanistan, a war torn landscape. After his escape, he halted all weapons production and focused upon perfecting his suit of armor. Anthony informed the press of his identity soon after the Iron Man armor was complete. He dubbed it as the privatization of world peace, though I still know not what he meant. The lawmakers and military in our realm were not pleased, and this strain carries on in my realm."

"I'll bet they weren't. So." Tony's nose scrunched disdainfully, "Now SHIELD, um the one from this place, knows my identity. For certain."

"I am immensely sorry, man of iron." Thor stated apologetically, rueful. "I did not know or understand your need for secrecy, and it was not my place to tell them nor to intervene in this world's affairs."

"Well, a little late for apologies, dude." Tony grunted, deep brown eyes gazing off into the distance as he lean back against a tree. "Cat's already out of the bag."

"I very much wish to know why you are considered a villain in this world." Thor rumbled patiently, "Upon Odin's oath I swear that I shall not share any of our words with the SHIELD of this realm."

"Why do I actually believe you?" Tony asked himself incredulously. "I must be going crazy. Well, I think I might be hallucinating because I'm talking to the Nordic god of Thunder. But, okay, sure. Why not. What has SHIELD told you about me?"

"They stated that you forced Dr. Banner to destroy a city in the country of India. And sent a nuclear missile into another metropolis. Among other offenses."

"Okay, seriously, that is total bullshit!" Tony scowled, tense and agitated. "They forgot to fucking mention that I -stopped- the nuclear missile from detonating in Hong Kong! And for another, Bruce Hulked out all on his own. I had literally nothing to do with it. His temper snapped at something and I went to India to chase him out of the city before he could kill more people. Fucking SHIELD are fucking liars."

"So why are you considered such an enemy to them?"

"Because besides being liars and sneaks, they are thieves too. A couple years back, before I made the first Iron Man, they somehow managed to hack my systems and stole all of my blueprints of weapons tech. Everything, even my old man's files. They fucking took it and when I confronted those bastards they just batted their eyes at me and were all like, 'Oh? We did? No way.'"

Tony's face morphed into an unflattering sneer. "I can't believe they are blaming me for Bruce Hulking out. He's my friend, yeah, but do you know how much it kills the guy inside when Hulk hurts people? He walks around guilty and upset for months, can barely stand the sight of himself."

"Dr. Banner in my realm is verily similar." Thor mentioned.

Tony continued as if he hadn't heard the words, "So they steal my stuff and next thing I know MY tech is being sold to our military without my permission. Shady black market deals, some ended up in terrorists hands surprise, surprise. I got blamed for that, too."

Tony's expression was dark, "SHIELD were the fuckers who ordered those nuke attacks, twice. Both were different situations, sure, but how dare they? They could've killed millions just to stop one enemy. It's ridiculous. So I made my suit. And I went and I stopped them. They got all goddamn hissy, and then the media caught wind and next thing I know Iron Man is the world's greatest super villain, and the number one enemy of America."

"How did they remain unaware that you are Iron Man?"

"You mean my identity?"

Thor nodded, looping Mjolnir's strap around his wrist so he could cross his arms.

"Well, for a time I pretended to consult for them. I played dumb about the extent of their crimes, and figured to go with the whole keep your enemies closer gambit. It worked for a while, but Fury got suspicious when I refused to try to make them an Iron Man suit."

"I do not follow," Thor admitted, leaves crunching beneath his feet.

"They tried to trap me. They couldn't prove I was Iron Man, and I'm a goddamn tech genius, so they ordered me to make them a suit of armor to the best of my ability. When I refused, they told me they were going to arrest me. But I called them out on their bluff. I've made my tech for Iron Man absolutely impenetrable. I stopped consulting for them, went underground and focused my efforts on destroying all the tech they'd stolen."

"That is a most egregious violation." Thor rumbled. "Courting war is something the SHIELD in my realm is apt to do."

"You believe me?" Tony stared at him like he was crazy.

"I have no reason to doubt your words."

"So, now they know I'm Iron Man anyway, and I'm in the middle of trying to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do next." Tony whined, spinning on the forest floor with frustration. "And then- fuck! Another version of me? Smug goddamn Captain America beat the shit out of another version of me because I'm sure Mr. Virtue couldn't believe the son of his precious Howard Stark is a villain. And now I just told my whole damn sob story to a goddamn god, and holy fuck, how is this my life?"

"A most regretful situation." Thor demurred.

"Okay my turn," Tony added despondently, shaking his head. "What the hell is another version of me doing in this world, anyway?"

"Anthony has always possessed an insatiable curiosity, I suppose you cannot be too different in that regard." Tony nodded at Thor's words. "I brought an relic from Asgard to the Tower for my dear Lady Jane to examine. Anthony touched the relic and was sent here."

"Brisen-whatever you mentioned before?" Tony asked.

Thor heaved a sad sigh, a frown splitting across his face. "However the relic is causing him much pain. It is slowly poisoning him. We await the Lady Freya's arrival, for only she is able to remove the enchantment. We fear bringing him home will result in his death. The Captain was most anxious after I arrived and begged Heimdall to send him to this realm so he could protect-"

"Wait, hold on. Hold on. What? The Captain? Like fucking Steve Rogers Captain? Of America?"

"Aye."

"You gotta be shitting me."

"The Captain of this world had a similar reaction." Thor mused. "However, you must know that Steven and Anthony are close companions, and friends. They spend much time together."

"You gotta be shitting me." Tony repeated. "This is a dream. I'm dreaming."

"No, you are not." Thor said gently. "And I must apologize again, but I must now return to Anthony's side. I fear Steven is going to start a fight with the SHIELD of this realm over their treatment of Anthony, and that would inevitably end badly. Thank you for explaining the situation to me, it was most illuminating. I simply wished to know the truth as I was unable to believe you could truly be an enemy to us."

"So you're not going to turn me in?" Tony belted incredulously, utterly astonished.

"Certainly not." Thor said with firm resolve. "For you shall always be my friend, man of iron, no matter which incarnation you take. I cannot dare say the same of the SHIELD brothers in this realm."

Tony was tired of talking circles, "Okay, okay. So what can I do for you, then?"

"Pardon?"

"You obviously didn't just come out here to ask a couple of questions and pop away."

Thor chuckled, a deep sound full of mirth that somehow warmed Tony. "In fact that is exactly the case. I intend you no harm."

"Okay. Huh. Well, that's new." Tony pondered something. "So this Freya person, how are you gonna find her? She could be in any world, right?"

"I am unsure, for she has cast wool over Heimdall's gaze and he cannot see her. I have several of my fellow Asgardians out searching for her as we speak, but Anthony hasn't much time."

"But if she's in this world, she's probably gonna see the news." Tony reasoned.

"News?" Thor echoed, blankly.

"We just flew around Chicago together, Sparks. In front of a hundred and one plus cameras. And you helped me, so they are probably flipping the fuck out. A dude in a friggin cape with a hammer destroying SHIELD robots is gonna be front page of every news site in the country."

"I do not understand your point," Thor hedged, a hint of agitation imbedded in his tone.

"I mean, this Freya chick. If she's in this world, she'll see the news and know your here and come to see you, right?"

Thor hummed, "I had not considered that. I hope for Anthony's sake you are correct."

Tony's face plate snapped back into place, "Yeah, well. I'll keep an eye out for another Asgardian deity roaming around. If I see her I'll tell her you're looking for her."

"I thank thee, man of iron. I hope your situation resolves itself."

"And I um, oh fuck I'm insane- I give you permission to tell my side of the story to SHIELD. Pretty sure Captain Sassypants has no idea the nukes were ordered by SHIELD. Not that he'll believe you in a million years, but giving that ass a guilt trip might make my day." Tony shrugged, overly-nonchalant. "Catch you later, Sparks."

He took off without another word, and Thor watched until he disappeared into the horizon.

Thor had many thoughts swirling around his mind as he traveled back to SHIELD. He was a tad anxious for what he'd find when he arrived. To his astonishment, the situation hadn't devolved to physical blows. Steven and Other-Steve were glaring at each other viciously. Tony still unconscious in Steven's arms, though he'd perched himself upon a bench in the corner. Clint paced. Other-Clint was fiddling with bow. Natasha calmly chatted with Other-Natasha.

Fury was nowhere to be seen, and Coulson had disappeared into the ether as well.

Thor greeted his friends, "Any word?"

Steve shook his head regretfully, clear blue eyes trained on Tony's bruised face. "No."

"I've learned much from my talk with the man of iron." Thor affirmed. "Where have Fury and Coulson gone?"

"Cleaning up the PR nightmare you just created in Chicago." Other-Natasha told him softly.

Thor flinched, "Aye, the man of iron stated such an event might occur. Though he viewed it as a boon, thinking perhaps that Freya might see the media coverage and come searching for me."

The god walked over to the sleeping form of Tony, gently touching the top of his head with open affection. "Has his condition worsened?"

Steve bit his lip, his voice heavy with worry, "I don't know. He hasn't woken up since you left, but I think his arc reactor is growing dimmer."

"Brisengamen is slowly sucking him of his energy." Thor patted the Captain on his shoulder firmly as a show of support.

"So, what's the situation?" Clint asked. "Other Iron Man a total villain or what?"

Other-Clint and Other-Natasha stared at Thor. Other-Steve continued to glare at Steve, his face full of thunderous anger.

"No, he is not our enemy." Thor stared at the SHIELD of this world. "The story he tells is far different than your version of events."

"That's because he's a liar." Other-Steve spat, fists clenched in front of him so tightly they were white.

"He says the same of you." Thor chuckled humorlessly. "He states that several years ago, SHIELD stole the blueprints for weapons, including the ones from the Anthony's father."

"That's a fucking fabrication!" Other-Clint shouted at him, but Thor continued regardless.

"The man of iron has since been destroying the technology appropriated from him. Those robots he battled against in Chicago were indubitably Stark Tech."

"That's what I thought when I saw them, also." Steve muttered.

Other-Natasha's lips were pursed and sullen. "How do you know it's his tech?"

The four Avengers stared at her dubiously.

"You've never seen Tony's lab." Clint finally spoke. "His style of tech is easy enough to recognize."

Other-Clint and Other-Natasha glanced at one another. Other-Clint appeared nervous.

"The man of iron continued his tale by saying his tech was sold upon a black market. He added that Bruce lost his temper upon his own accord, and that the nuclear weapons which SHIELD shot into cities were halted by him, which we hadn't been told."

Steve grunted, his hold on Tony tight and anguished. "So Tony suffered for these transparent sins."

Thor glared at the SHIELD brothers from this world. "I think it's time to hear your side of this tale. So we can then ascertain the truth."

Steve curled his body around Tony, gently pulling his sweatshirt away to reveal the dimming light of the arc reactor.

"Yes," He agreed, carefully. "What is your take, SHIELD?"

TBC.


	6. Sad Piece of History

Notes: I made up the story of Freya's necklace. It is not actually a Nordic legend.

* * *

><p>"Fine," Natasha groaned. "I'll tell you. But you won't like it."<p>

Other Steve perched his hands under his chin, glowering at the assembled group of Avengers as if they were the scum of the earth. The expression was mostly a front. It masked his escalating sense of dread. After he'd woken in this strange time, he'd been spoon fed stories by this organization about Stark. Stark wasn't a consultant when he awoke, he'd been Iron Man already. The holes from SHIELD's tale were now growing irreparably apparent. He was shocked he hadn't noticed them before. The inconsistency. He'd blindly trusted these people, had faith in them.

Yet these Avengers, these doppelgangers, seemed so certain of Stark's innocence. Both versions of the man. But that couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

So far the SHIELD agents and himself had been keeping relatively straight-headed about this crazy surreal situation. Steve had found their acceptance of this frankly scary emergence of carbon copy duplicates of themselves admirable. At first. Black Widow and Hawkeye took everything in stride, and Fury hadn't modified his behavior even after Thor came to their world. So he'd followed the example, since they obviously thought these people were dangerous. Steve knew Fury was taking extra precautions, that Coulson was in a flurry to solve this situation.

Somehow, though, Other Steve knew in his gut that this wasn't going to end well.

Other Steve's dour expression wore on Avenger Steve's nerves. He sincerely wanted to put this other Captain in his place for hurting Tony. And for acting like such a, well, total dickwad as Tony would say. Before he arrived in this world, when he'd seen Tony's swollen and abused face, he tried to tell himself over and over it couldn't be the other SHIELD. How wrong he'd been. It caught him by surprise. Steve couldn't fathom why this Other Steve hated Tony so much.

Glancing down at the handsome man in his arms, he thought about how much he trusted Tony. How much Tony meant to him. Even after their rocky beginnings, during the chaotic fight with Loki, he quickly realized how strong and loyal Tony was. Steve had misjudged him. First impressions weren't always everything. Then the man saved them all, literally and metaphorically. Tony was oh-so patient with Steve, didn't tease him about his ignorance with technology- much. Helped him learn how to use the Internet, caught him up with pop culture and the history he'd slept through. Their hesitancy turned to friendship before somehow becoming Steve's lifeline. The man was a superhero, his savior.

Steve couldn't imagine how his life in this new time would play out without Tony by his side. If Tony hadn't offered his tower to the Avengers, where would he be? Trapped in the past, his mind supplied. Unable to move on from his life in the 1940's.

So, his surprise became anger. The bruises on Tony's neck were telling and absolutely unforgivable.

"Tony Stark was a consultant for SHIELD." Other Natasha began, voice calm. "Fury suspected he was Iron Man from the start, but there was no evidence. To prove that wasn't an enemy, he asked Stark to make him an Iron Man suit to the best of his ability. Stark refused and went underground. He's been our enemy ever since."

"He's not completely innocent, no matter what he may tell you," Other Clint added deftly. "I'm sure he made your naive friend listen to some fucking sob story. What a bunch of bullshit."

Thor stiffened in agitation, his grip on his hammer tightening absently.

"When this Stark entered the world," Natasha gestured to Tony with her hand. "We treated him as the enemy of SHIELD that he is in our world. It was not noble. We never pretended that it was. And for the record, we had no way of knowing that the freaky thing embedded in his chest wasn't a weapon. We'd never seen anything like it before."

"It's unnatural." Other Steve muttered, despite himself.

Steve's hackles were flying through the roof. He was about to scream bloody murder at them. Maybe punch Other Steve clean across his face. Before he could act, their Natasha cut him off with an equally disgusted expression. "So you deny that SHIELD stole his tech?"

"No. We did." Other Natasha shrugged, uncaring. "It had to be done."

Other Steve blinked, taken aback by Black Widow's frank admission. The dread pooling in his stomach cemented, his throat tight.

"Had to be done. Really." Clint's eyes flashed with incomprehensible fury, "So you stole his tech, and when he rebelled he's suddenly somehow the bad guy? Are you fucking kidding me? That's the most hypocritical fucking thing I've ever heard! And then you tried to trap him when you couldn't prove he was Iron Man? All while knowing he was simply destroying the tech you stole from him to begin with?"

"Wow, that's a new low even for SHIELD." Natasha affirmed, glancing at her fallen comrad. "That's just sick."

"Wait!" Other Steve blurted, on his feet before he could think about it. He stared at his fellow SHIELD members accusingly. "You told me that Stark was destroying SHIELD property, not his own."

"We've modified the original blueprints, so technically it is ours." Clint's attempts to sound overly innocent were scarily transparent. He spoke like a babysitter trying to soothe a bawling brat.

Other Steve's mouth gaped open, his mind wiping blank with absolute shock.

"Then what of the other charges against the man or iron in this realm?" Thor demanded.

"What of them?" Natasha asked, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Steve bellowed, face buried beside Tony's forehead, unable to stop himself, "Did you order the nuke attacks and blame them on him, also? Did you villainize him on purpose to hide that you stole his tech?"

"You guys are idiots! We did not." Clint snarked back, but they could all tell he was bluffing. "The nukes were-"

"Yes." Other Natasha cut him off matter-of-factly. "We did."

The silence that filled the room was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

A noise emitted from Other Steve without his knowledge, it sounded pained. His face had turned white as a sheet, the color seeping from him so suddenly it appeared as if he might faint. Wide blue eyes watched the SHIELD agents, unable to believe what he was hearing. They'd ordered the attack? But-

"You lied." The words escaped him, breathless, aghast. He spun to look down at the unconscious Stark, cringing internally. "You lied to me this whole time. You told me what you wanted me to hear, and now that you know you can't escape the lie… You've been going after Stark for no reason."

Other Steve's lips were a thin line as he forced himself to add: "Stark's not really our enemy, is he."

"I can't believe you're surprised by this." Other Clint finally deadpanned response, throwing caution to the wind. He knew Fury would yell at them later but oh well. "It's SHIELD, Rogers. Info is always on a need to know basis."

Other Steve spun towards Clint again, his face filled with sincere contempt. He was shaking furiously, he looked like he wanted to punch something.

"And you let me-" Other Steve continued, gritting his teeth. "You let me think that this Stark was some sort of master villain. You blamed him for the weapons of mass destruction. You blamed him for letting the Hulk out. You just said, not even five minutes ago- that he is an enemy of SHIELD."

"He is considered an enemy of SHIELD, regardless of his actual crimes." Natasha pointed out. "It is not our place to agree with SHIELD decisions, we just follow orders Rogers. You know that. Even we don't know the full details, but if Fury-"

"You let me-" Other Steve spitted, gaze locked upon the battered form of Tony, his panic poignant and heartfelt. "You let mehurt an innocent man. On purpose."

"Well," Avenger Natasha pipped in, still not okay with Other Steve's treatment of her friend, but urged to comfort him regardless. It was an odd sensation, but seeing any Steve Rogers freaking out did things to her and she couldn't remain neutral. "They didn't know he wasn't the Stark from this world at first, I suppose."

"That is no justification for hurting Tony, Black Widow," Steve glared at her, readjusting his hold on the genius as he tried to reign in his emotions. It was little comfort that the other version of him wasn't told the truth. Because this version of Captain America had still been the one to hurt the brilliant man in his arms.

"I now see. How deplorable." Thor agreed, uncharacteristically soft, "SHIELD of this realm are the true villains."

"No, we are not." Other Natasha continued. "We needed-"

"And how do you figure?" Clint spat contemptuously. "How the fuck did you rationalize that shit Other Widow?"

"Because of his tech." She explained huffily, unused to not having Clint on her side. "His tech-"

"Was his property irregardless!" Steve interrupted viciously. "Not yours! You had no right to take it."

Other Natasha looked at him from under her thick eyelashes. "Stop interrupting me. He might have killed-"

"Might have, but didn't!" Clint couldn't do this anymore. He just couldn't. It sickened him that any version of SHIELD would condemn a blameless person. Tony Stark may be a totally arrogant prick sometimes, but he would sacrifice everything to save them all. He'd done so before, and you can't change a persons basic nature. This world's Stark wouldn't be different, Clint knew that. Judging the faces of his fellow Avengers, they all did.

Drawing his bow with swift efficiency, his temper snapped like a chord drawn too thin. "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you?"

"She's not." Fury's voice cut in, he strode into the room authoritatively.

Thor, Clint and Natasha stepped back in unison, circling Steve and Tony inside a protective circle, weapons at the ready.

"His tech was too advanced." Fury stated dispassionatly. "The American military was planning to kill him and take it. So SHIELD took the initiative and beat them to the punch, leaving him alive at least. We hadn't anticipated that he would be capable of making an advanced weaponized suit."

"He only made the Iron Man suit in this world to destroy the tech you already stole." Natasha whispered caustically, Widow's Bite crackling on her wrist.

Fury sighed, but it lacked empathy. "That may be true. As for the nuclear attack, it was authorized not by SHIELD but by the higher ups. We had no choice."

Other Steve turned to sweep out of the room, feeling betrayed and used.

Before he took a single step, the giant window across the room smashed with a deafening burst of noise. The Avengers and SHIELD collectively dropped, ready to attack in an instant. Pieces of glass were strewn across the floor as they looked up, trying to figure out what happened.

It was a girl. A very petite blonde girl who looked as innocent as a child. She wore ripped-to-hell skinny jeans and a black Japanese band t-shirt, her hair snugly wrapped in a bun atop her head. She was smiling cheerfully.

"The beautiful Lady Freya!" Thor's previous mood dissipated instantly, he beamed at her before striding forward to pull the tiny Asgardian into his arms.

"It has been over twenty decades," She agreed, allowing the bear hug with a wryly fond smirk dancing on her face.

"What've you been up to, Thor? I saw you on TV, damn that shocked me silly. What the hell are you doing in this-" Her clear blue eyes widened as her sight randomly swept upon Tony.

Frantically pulling out of Thor's grasp, she didn't seem to notice anyone else surrounding her with weapons still at the ready. She rushed over to shrilly cry, "What the fuck is a human doing with Brisengamen, Thor? My necklace should be forsaken in the vaults!"

She turned on her heel, pointing an accusing finger at the god of thunder. "What the fuck have you done this time?"

Thor had the decency to look sheepish. "It was a mistake, my Lady. I acknowledge that and am most sorrowful for my incureable foolishness. However, I plead of you, remove this curse from this man, Anthony. He is a mighty warrior and my friend. I do not wish him to die."

Freya kneeled beside Steve and Tony, pulling down his sweatshirt to peer at his collar bone. Her eyes trailed down to the arc reactor, slender fingers reaching to touch it. "What a strange device. What is it?"

Steve brought his hand over Tony's chest, anxious and wary. His eyes flew to Thor, who nodded his firm affirmation.

Steve lifted his hand and Freya's replaced it, no doubt feeling the steady hum of the arc reactor. Steve felt choked as he whispered, "Please save him."

This Asgardian goddess met his gaze without flinching, they had a nearly identical eye color. She stared at him as if peering inside his very soul, taking all his secrets and making them her own. Standing again, she turned her head and took in the collective group with a regretful frown.

"Brisengamen should've never been brought back, Thor." She repeated, marching straight towards him. Their height difference was almost comical but Thor treated her with deference.

"Aye." Thor agreed regretfully.

"After this man touched the relic," Natasha began, oddly hesitant when she earned Freya's attention. "Was it because you were already in this world that brought him here?"

"Yes." She replied, then scowled. "Fucking hell. This wasn't supposed to happen." Freya cursed, sounding inexplicably and very American.

Thor knew she had spent many years in the human world, disgusted by Asgard for whatever reason. Thor knew not why Freya left, nobody seemed to carry that knowledge. It was a closely kept secret which Odin refused to explain despite Thor asking time again.

Freya sensed his line of inquiry and huffed. She spun and returned to Tony's side, bouncing on the soles of her feet and humming. All eyes on the room were trapped upon this eccentric goddess. She began slipping back into Asgardian language effortlessly.

"Do you know why Brisengamen was created, oh noble god of thunder?"

"I do not." Thor admitted. "My father has told me of its power, though I know not its purpose."

Freya appeared vulnerable as she nodded and promptly ignored everyone else in the room. "Then I have a sad piece of history for you. I am much older then you, Thor. I've lived now for a very long time. So long in fact, it sometimes seems endless. Once, almost six thousand years ago, I fell in love with a mortal on Midgard. You know how the great Odin views such affections."

Thor's face became upset, "I do. He has expressed contempt for me and my beloved Lady Jane, who is human."

"Has he?" Freya laughed humorlessly, looking back down at Tony. "I loved him so that I wanted to be the mother of his children. I was young. The All Father, the almighty King of Asgard protested. Your father, Thor, was most displeased. This is but forgotten history, yet Alexandria in its hay day was a sight to behold. I will never forget that man I loved. Oh, Imhotep. He was such a kind person, so pure and brave and honest. I wished to bear his child so I could at least keep a piece of him after his mortal life expired. All too quickly years slip away, as you know. So I returned back to Asgard. I was so gullible."

She paused, parsing out her next words. "The All Father, Odin, tricked me. I was selfish and narcissistic in my youth. He gave me a gift, this necklace your friend now wears, and I was delighted and accepted it. But it was a foul curse. Not only did it force me to stay in Asgard for five hundred years, it rendered me barren."

Freya's eyes glistened with tears, the group listening on a bated breath. "Once I was able to cast the necklace away, I flung it into the Bifröst against Heimdall's wishes. Another foolish mistake. The necklace remained on Earth during what their world dubbed the Middle Ages. Freyr later told me what havoc it reaped, so I retrieved it and locked it inside the vaults. I never thought it would end up back in Midgard again."

Thor was dumbfounded. "My father-"

"Can often be very cruel." Freya finished, cheeks red and tears streaming down her cheeks. She motioned towards Tony's neck and twirled, "Because of that spell- because of this damn trinket, I never saw him again. I told Imhotep I would return, but was unable to. I know not what happened to him for time had already forgotten."

Mjolnir dropped to the ground with a thud as Thor rushed forward, cradling this goddess gently. "Oh, my Lady Freya, why have you not told me?"

Freya's sobbing echoed as she fell into his arms. An incredibly sorrowful noise rang across the metal room. Everyone flinched, somehow in pain, even Fury.

"I give you my solemn oath," Thor stroked his large fingers across her cheek, dipping her chin so she met his eyes. "Once I become ruler of Asgard, this curse will be destroyed."

She hiccuped, nodding. "I have always known that you will be a worthy leader."

Turning back to Tony, she hiccuped slightly and continued. "The same magic which made me eternally barren sucks the life out of humans. I know not why."

"Can you remove it?" Steve pleaded, clutching Tony and unashamed. "_Please_."

Her countenance softened, "You love this mortal, do you not?

Steve nodded without hesitation, blue eyes blazing loyally, "I most certainly do."

Other Steve felt his whole body go rigid as if he'd been shot with a Hydra weapon. Fury, Clint and Natasha all stared, lips parted, expressions clearly unbelieving.

Freya brought her hands to cradle Steve's face, beaming with red-brimmed eyes. "Of course I shall help. Love is a most unfathomably powerful magic."

TBC.


	7. To Lift a Curse

Other Steve gaped like a fish out of water, mouth wide open as he stumbled backwards clumsily. He felt dizzy, like his body wasn't his own. He managed to let out a mangled and slightly desperate, "What?"

The collective group ignored him as Freya reached down to pull the fabric of Tony's SHIELD sweatshirt away with Steve's assistance. When he was naked from the waist up, he looked exceptionally small and vulnerable. Tony's skin was littered with mottled bruises and scratches. His veins stood out prominently, dark as though filled with poison. The dent on the edge of his arc reactor near the scarring made Steve want to scream in frustration. He moved his body so Tony wasn't in the SHIELD agents direct line of sight.

"Whatever this thing in his chest is," Freya remarked quietly, tendrils of blonde hair falling over her face. "It must be removed for me to work my magic. It's made of metal and so is my necklace, so, er. Logistically speaking it's not gonna work, otherwise."

"My lady Freya," Thor began, tone rough, a hand up aloft in her direction.

Natasha shook her head in weary negation, "It's impossible to remove his reactor. We can't. It's keeping shrapnel from hitting his heart. He'd die."

Fury's eyes met Natasha's as she glared pointedly at him. Fury's guilt was tangible if you knew the tells. He hadn't believed Tony's story before, or anything they'd said. But now he did. And he understood that the Avengers were not going to let him walk away easily from that fact. He'd hurt their ally; he knew the consequences. A pissed off Captain America, Hawkeye or Black Widow were already a dreary prospect. And now there was a damn god and goddess from Asgard ready to fight against SHIELD, also. Fury ran scenarios through his head despairingly. He needed to stop the higher ups, ASAP. Before things got even worse.

Steve ducked his forehead against Tony's with a warm huff of air, his gaze trained on the blue reactor. It was too dim. Other Steve watched him with an unbelieving dismay. They seemed so- cozy. And declarations of love? This world was insane. He didn't know what was going to happen. It set his nerves on end, he really wanted this whole thing to be an insane dream. First time in ages he would have preferred to be asleep than awake.

They didn't have much time left Avenger Steve thought, counting Tony's heartbeats. "How long would the arc reactor have to be out?"

Freya licked her lips, assuring him, "Only for a short while, minutes at most."

Clint peered back towards SHIELD mistrustfully. The thought of removing the arc reactor in front of these dangerous people made him reasonably anxious. He knew Natasha and Steve felt the same.

So the archer deflected, "We don't have clearance in the first place, guys. Tony's arc reactor has some heavy fucking duty safety mechanisms-"

"Okay, let's get this over with." Steve replied over him, squaring his shoulders and rearranging Tony so he was propped upright against a cold metal wall. Tony remained unconscious, head lolled heavily on his shoulder. He was completely unaware of the manhandling. "I'll do it."

The Avengers already know the pair are close. They know of their romantic relationship and all its trappings, even if neither men talked about it. They were both private people with larger-than-life public profiles. Discretion was understandable. But they still couldn't quite manage to hide their surprise that Tony had given Steve clearance to literally take his heart out if need be. The arc reactor was Tony's most secretive and closely-held tech besides the Iron Man suit. That show of trust was enormous.

"He showed me how to remove the reactor the same day he gave me the codes for his GPS." Steve explained, glaring at SHIELD for no reason at all. "I'd prefer if they weren't in the room for this."

Other Natasha scoffed simultaneously with Clint, pointing over to a corner, "Security cameras."

Steve gave them his meanest glower. God, he disliked this worlds SHIELD. Immensely.

"Why do you feel that way, good Captain?" Thor inquired curiously before turning boastful. "You know SHIELD will not be able to touch Anthony while we are all here to watch over the good man of iron."

"We don't know if the Tony in this world has an arc reactor." Steve stated with agitation. "They might try to rip it out of him as soon as we leave for home. With how they've already treated him I wouldn't be surprised. If fact, I'd expect it."

"No way," Other Steve burst in, overly-loud. "No. I won't let that happen."

"As if I'd believe a thing you say." Steve snapped viciously for what felt like the millionth time. Oh, punching that guy would do wonders for him. He didn't think any of his teammates would even hold it against him.

"I know, yeah." Other Steve agreed immediately. "But I still won't let SHIELD do that to Iron Man. You have my word."

"Captain-" Fury began, but Other Steve held a gloved hand aloft."We are going to have a long chat, Fury, about your lies." Other Steve informed him with a sour leer. "After which you are going to accept my resignation from SHIELD."

Other Natasha and Clint twitched awkwardly. Fury's expression was stony.

"We won't let them do it to Iron Man, anyway. We don't need your 'word.'" Natasha stated, her voice soft but deadly with promise.

"The Avengers are going to make sure that the stolen tech is destroyed." Clint agreed, smirking.

Thor raised his clenched fist in the air, "I feel we owe it to the mistreated Anthony of this world. It is our duty as superhero's, as the Facebook says."

Freya pointed at the god of thunder, "I follow Thor."

Clint, Natasha and Fury gave identical and equally affronted expressions. Other Steve warmed up to the idea quickly since he really owed Stark an apology. Well, he owed both Stark's an apology.

Avenger Steve let a twinge of humor wash over him, he was sure Tony would find this hilarious if he was awake. "It would be swell to meet the other version of Tony. And restore his stolen data to him."

"Well." Freya blinked while mentioning innocently, "This seems to be a shit show of conflicting and overpowering personalities. Some friends you've got here, Thor."

Thor grinned, white teeth gleaming, "Aye, that they are."

Freya turned at the SHIELD with a quelling look. Fury stiffened, trying not to lower his eyes when Freya stared directly at him.

"I've heard of that Iron Man dude." It was strange to listen to the Asgardian use American slang. "He's that guy who stopped the nuke in Hong Kong. Brave cookie. Sad the media treat him like the villain. What does he have to do with Brisengamen, anyway. I'm kinda confused here. You guys on opposing sides even though you're doppelgängers?"

Avenger Steve shook his head sadly, trying to explain, "Long story short, the Iron Man from this world is Tony Stark. I'm sure you know the name."

"The billionaire weapons maker?" Her eyebrows flew up. "Stark Industries CEO? No way."

The super soldier gave a rueful smile, gesturing at their Tony, "And this is Tony Stark from our world, also Iron Man."

"I guess I didn't recognize him with all the bruises." The petite goddess wrinkled her nose before her eyes rolled, "Of course Thor gets all the cool friends. Figures. Why does he always-"

"Freya," Thor interrupted.

"Oh, sorry. Let's get this done, then. Take out his shiny thing, good sir." She ordered Steve with a playfully pompous manner.

Steve took a deep quelling breath. He removed his heavy leather gloves and placed them on the floor. Kneeling, he peered closely at Tony's chest. Bringing his thick hands to cover the light of the device he deftly spun the core, hearing the mechanical lock click and release. Pressing his thumb to the center, he watched it scan his thumbprint before it was jettisoned from the base. Steadily he pulled the thick tech from Tony's chest, hearing the audible difference in his breathing immediately. Two thick wires remained attached inside his chest.

With wary determination Steve pulled them out in order and flipped a switch on the underside of the core. He watched the familiar glow flicker, darken and shut off. Tony began shivering, his lips turning blue as he twitched in discomfort. Holding the arc tight in his palm, Steve brushed strands of dark hair from his face and cradled the back of the genius's head.

Clint'd never seen the reactor removed, but Natasha had. He really hadn't been able to tell how much space it took up in Tony's chest before. X-Rays were one thing, but watching it leave Tony's body was another. It made Natasha think about what Tony had had to do when it was just a car battery stuck in his chest. Stranded within a cave in Afghanistan.

Other Steve watched with growing horror, the hole in the center of Stark's body was just downright ominous. It shouldn't be possible. Freya didn't seem bothered in the least, nor did Thor. Clint figured that their 'what-the-fuck' meter was probably on a different dimension altogether.

Freya tugged a large hand away from Tony's hair, forcing Steve to place his flat palm against the skin above the garishly empty casing. Freya's fingers were half the size of Steve's, he noticed, when she squeezed both of hers atop his. Steve watched Freya's eyes slide shut. He dutifully closed his own after a moment, knowing his friends were hovering protectively over them. They wouldn't allow anything to happen.

"Think positive thoughts," Freya instructed, voice slurred as if in a meditation. "Think of your fondest memories, of the reasons for affection and loyalty."

She paused, "Think only of him, please."

It wasn't hard for Steve at all. He let memories play beneath his eyelids. Tony hunched over his work station covered in oil, ranting a mile a minute. Iron Man's face plate popping open, revealing a beamingly bright and triumphant smile. Brown eyes, vulnerable, telling him that if he died Steve should destroy all the arc reactor's using the GPS. Tony kissing him, their mouths molding pliant and needy and so very perfect. Tony's breath on his skin, the way he sounded when wrapped up with pleasure. Something shifted, Steve felt it, and the different scenes were somehow tangible and so crisp and real that his breath left his lungs.

Tony's voice nursing him out of a panic attack, soothing and tender. Tony's hands brushing through his hair, teasing and affectionate. These thoughts all sped away in a crazy blur until no one memory was more important than another. Steve barely heard Natasha gasp from somewhere over his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, they were blinded with a white light radiating from his hands. Then Freya seemed to be lifting something from deep inside of the man, from within his very soul.

The air crackled, and Freya pulled away with a silver necklace clasped between her hands. Steve took this as his cue and began efficiently replacing the arc reactor in reverse order. As the lock initiated and the hum of the device steadily purred under his touch, Steve felt like a weight had been lifted off his own shoulders. Tony's skin brightened almost instantly, his cheeks flushing as he lungs heaved with unconscious effort. The super soldier watched Tony breathe, overwhelmed momentarily.

Freya smiled at him kindly, "This Anthony Stark may be a total idiot for touching my necklace, but I can feel your love and regard for him. It's very beautiful, Captain Steven Rogers. I shall give him a small gift since I don't think your fight in this world is over quite yet."

She leaned slowly past Steve, forearm braced on his shoulder, and kissed Tony's cheek. Steve watched in astonishment as a softer glow emanated from Tony's entire body- and then-

His bruises faded, his scrapes healed and suddenly he was completely uninjured. Even the super-soldier didn't heal that fast. Before Freya could properly give him back some personal space, Steve twined his arms around her and all-but lifted her off the ground with a fierce hug. Captain America spun the tiny goddess in circles. She was incredibly amused by the antics

"I can't thank you enough!" He rushed to say, nearly in tears, "_Thank you_!"

He kept repeating, "I really can't, just. Oh my. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Burying the small goddess in hug, Steve trembled with adrenaline and happiness and sheer goddamn inimitable relief. Freya's small arms wrapped around his hips, absorbing his gratitude, "I can see why you are worthy of holding Mjolnir, mighty Captain of America."

Freya's countenance was open and pleased. She'd noticed out of the corner of her eyes that the three super-secret agents wearing black had slipped out of the room during the commotion. The Avengers hadn't noticed since their focus was still on their friend.

She didn't know if this was a super bad thing and pulled away cautiously. "Um, were those people supposed to leave."

Hawkeye and Black Widow spun, cursed loudly due to negligence, and went to storm off after them but Other Steve stopped them. He was pale, uncertain, but wearing his stubborn frown and obviously not going to let them leave until he said his piece.

"I know where they went. The Council, the higher ups, they voted. Now that they know Stark is Iron Man they've launched a tactical mission to take him out. Natasha told me earlier that we were buying time till now. The agents were deployed shortly after, er- Thor got back here."

"How many?" Natasha demanded.

Other Steve stood at attention, "At least half of SHIELD's best agents are going after him. They've sent thousands of death bots to attack Stark's skyscraper in New York."

"How long, then?" Clint paced.

"An hour, give or take." Other Steve admitted. "Coulson and Fury tried to talk the higher ups out of it, but they didn't listen. Natasha and Clint both reported that they needed more time, but after Thor showed up in Chicago even they were ignored. SHIELD wants to destroy Stark and all his tech. They'd told me it was because he was going to use it against them. Now I know it's because they don't want anyone to find out they stole it."

"I suppose Sif and the Warrior's three ought to be summoned?" Freya asked Thor.

He nodded, "Aye, and Bruce. **HEIMDALL**!"

"Huh?" Tony's eyes finally opened, bleary.

"What the fuck-?" Tony's confused voice echoed across the room. Steve rushed to his side, blue watching brown eyes return to their familiar sharpness. Tony stared at Steve, dazed but not in pain anymore.

His attention shifted to Freya, taking in her appearance. He was adorably baffled. "Um. _Hi_. So. Freya- right?"

TBC.


	8. Valiancy

"Hello, Tony Stark." Freya smiles, chipper. "Feeling any better?"

"Um, yeah. I am. Thanks. For saving my life and stuff." Tony winces regretfully, his fingers absently tracing over his arc reactor. It was a nervous gesture. "I'm really sorry I touched the necklace."

For whatever reason, Tony automatically expected Freya to talk like Thor. All olden-speak, very royal and Asgardian. The phrasing was quaint. So much so that the genius barely noticed the difference anymore. It was similar to learning a dialect.

Then the tiny goddess gave a sarcastic and unflattering snort. "Seriously, were you out of your brilliant _fucking_ mind?"

Tony's jaw dropped as she ranted caustically, gesticulating with wild abandon.

"When someone, for example, say the god of thunder Thor," She spun on her heels, pacing. "When they tell you not to fucking touch an alien object, what do you do? You don't know shit-all about the object. So what becomes, apparently, the best option? To touch it. Of course. Midgardians." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, chin cocked as she flipped her hair back, "You're a fucking _moron_ for doing that, Tony Stark. I hope you've learned your lessen."

Tony blinks rapidly, mouth still gaped slightly. He incredulously asks Steve with a peculiar quirk of lips, "Did I just get called a moron by a goddess?"

Steve rubs his hand across Tony's bare arm before handing him the SHIELD sweatshirt. Tony hadn't noticed he was half-naked. That wasn't really on top of his mental priorities at the moment. "It would seem so."

The genius finally grinned at Steve with open amusement. Tony was incredibly happy he wasn't beat to hell anymore, that was nice. And his team was by his side. He wasn't going to die in the next twenty four hours. Great.

Pulling the sweatshirt on, he tamed his greasy hair as Freya and Thor talked. His focus randomly swept past Other Captain America, he was surprised the guy was still there. The other SHIELD from this world were apparently AWOL.

His eyebrows flew up on his forehead when he recognized Other Steve's guilty-as-hell pout. The man looked like he just gotten caught cussing at the elderly. Or kicking fluffy baby animals. Or something equally un-American, heaven forbid.

"Okay," Tony drawled, eyes locked on Other Steve. Thor and Freya immediately quieted. "So what exactly happened while I was passed out?"

"Iron Man isn't evil in this world." Steve rapid-fire updated. "Fury admitted to stealing Iron Man's tech and blaming disasters on him, including when Bruce accidentally Hulked out. Iron Man was apparently only destroying the tech already stolen from him. So SHIELD fed the media stories about Iron Man being a super villain. Just like they did in New York during the Chitauri invasion, SHIELD higher ups ordered nuke deployment. Iron Man stopped them, stupidly and bravely. Some things never change, I guess."

Tony whistled. And here he'd thought his life was a shit show, "Seriously? Damn."

Other Captain America nodded uselessly. He was trying to make himself small, but Stark kept giving him weird looks.

"Apparently this, other version of me…" Steve paused sulkily, flickering his eyes around the room. "Was lied to by SHIELD."

His subsequent words were laced with venom, "It doesn't excuse the fact that another version of me hurt you. At all, whatsoever. In any way."

Tony cleared his throat pointedly.

"Freya saw Thor on TV and came to visit him. We healed you and in the meantime other SHIELD took off. So, this- ugh," Steve shuddered again. "God this is weird. So Not-Me over there just told us that SHIELD's going to ambush Iron Man at Stark Tower in New York."

"Okay," Tony's arms leaned on his thighs as pondered something. "I'm assuming we're tagging along. Doing some super hero stuff, right?"

"Aye, SHIELD brother." Thor strode towards Tony and beamed gleefully, "I am verily heartened to see you well again."

Tony stood and gave Thor a 'manly' hug, lifting his chin to sincerely add, "Thanks, Thor. You're my favorite. Besides Steve."

Thor slapped his shoulder companionably, knowing to restrain his strength.

"How much time do we have?" Tony asked, cracking his knuckles and stretching.

"An hour." Clint said. "Probably less."

"And where are we right now?"

"Wisconsin."

Tony sputtered, "There is no fucking way we can get to New York in under an hour! Even if I fly at top speed- Oh, shit. My Iron Man suit!"

Freya laughed merrily, "Don't worry about that. I'll take you to New York City. Since Thor called Heimdall, I'm sure he's already watching. He knows to drop Sif and the Warrior's three in the city as soon as we get there."

"Heimdall shall also be bringing the formidable Hulk, and Bruce will know to bring your armor." Thor comfortingly informed Tony.

Other Steve walked forward, quietly demanding, "I'm coming with you."

"No fucking way." Steve snarled, spitting at the man, marching towards his doppelgänger with explosive speed and aggression.

Natasha watched her friend with something akin to shock. She'd never seen their Steve act so feral. Well, the battlefield was different, she supposed. Natasha knew Tony and Steve got downright sickeningly protective of each other. This was an entirely separate mania. Because she'd also knows they fight viciously and relentlessly sometimes. During those times, when Tony is his worst and Steve's not that much better… That anger wasn't even a fraction of an iota close to how much Steve wanted to viciously murder Other Steve. She finally reasoned that you really couldn't blame the guy. Protective instincts mixed with blameless self loathing?

Thor and Tony quickly stopped him from physically assaulting Other Steve. Each clutched one of Steve's arms to hold the super soldier back. Tony whined, blunt nails digging into Steve's uniform, "Ahhh, no, Steve! Stoppitttt!"

Steve wasn't about to hurt Tony and couldn't actually hurt Thor, but it didn't stop him from shouting, "The second we have our backs turned, he'll probably shoot us! We have no way of knowing if he's lying. He's likely play acting and still working for SHIELD."

"Cap, really, are you listening to yourself right now?" Tony admonished, patting his wrist. "You suck at lying. Utterly suck at it. You think he'll be different?"

"I want to destroy the stolen tech just as much as you do. I'm not afraid of being SHIELD's enemy. "Other Captain insisted, adjusting his outdated shield behind his back. "And, I."

Captain America shuffled, melancholy and disheartened "I can't apologize enough for how I treated you, Stark. It was unforgivable."

"Just because you say you're sorry doesn't mean we trust you enough to fight alongside you." Clint huffed, playing idly with his bow. Natasha hummed her agreement.

"But-" Other Steve pleaded defiantly.

Oh, no, Tony thought, despite himself.

Tony knew that look. Other Steve was about to beg. He just couldn't deal with that, no matter what an asshat Other Steve was he was still Steve and nope nope the man shouldn't have to beg.

"It's fine," Tony interrupted, trying to aim for nonchalant and missing by a mile. "Even if he's just spying on us for SHIELD and tries to run back to them I think the Avengers can handle it."

Freya motioned them to stand around her in a circle, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, "C'mon, c'mon. Let's get on with it!"

"You seem merry, my beloved Lady Freya." Thor was bemused as he picked up Mjolnir and tossed it in the air.

"Well, yah! I haven't had a good battle in over fifty decades!" She brought a tiny fist aloft and suddenly her clothes shifted.

Just as Thor's garb changed when he dawned Asgardian armor, the material melted and was reborn. She was now covered in elegant leather and white gold. An astoundingly delicate chain mail spread across her torso snuggly. Mithril, Tony admired the material absently, not caring if that was an utterly irrelevant and nonsensical notion. Freya aimed a slender bow with expert efficiency, index finger aimed at an empty wall. A long quiver of arrows dangling across her back, probably magical and amazing to study. Tony gazed at the foreign weaponry with a longing desire.

Oh, what Tony would give to examine Asgardian armor in his lab. Then he blanched inwardly. No, he reminded himself with a fiercely reprimanding tone that was oddly reminiscent of Steve's disapproving declarations. Alien tech equals bad. No touchy. That's the sort of shit which got him into this whole fiasco in the first place.

Freya's pixie face glowed as she released a test-shot. She hit the dead corner of two walls where a security camera had been nestled, "This'll be fun."

"Ready, Avengers and Other Captain?" Freya spun gracefully dropped into a meditative stance, letting a field of magnetic waves caress her skin and pores. Only Thor could see the waves of power swirling around them, encasing the group within a bubble.

The group glanced nervously at one another, uncertain if they should do something stupid like hold hands. They followed Thor's example instead, and stared at Freya.

"This'll be a simple wormhole, so don't freak out." She murmured, tightening her mind around the atoms and protons and neutrons and very building blocks of every known realm. Then she let go, letting the energy accelerate and tremble.

It was pretty hard not to freak out, honestly. Going through a wormhole sort of felt like your insides had gone squishy and your body ceased to hold substance. With a spark of sheer force and a strange ringing echo, the next thing they knew SHIELD HQ was no more. New York surrounded them, the air crisp and sky cerulean above them. Freya landed them on a reasonably tall rooftop. She started waving into the sky at what Tony supposed was Heimdall creeping on them from Asgard. He tried not to think about it.

Tony walked over to the edge of the building, scanning the cityscape. About five miles away he focused on this world's Stark Tower. It looked a lot like his had before he'd renovated it to house his team. Remembering what Steve called it once he laughed to himself. The Big Ugly Tower, indeed. It really did look unimpressive, in retrospect.

Freya lifted her arms and spun, catching the group's attention.

"Ah, what is she doing, now?" Clint asked guilelessly.

"She is placing magic around us to hide the Rainbow Bridge from being seen by mortal eyes." Thor explained, shrugging as he toyed with the strap on Mjolnir.

"She's powerful." Natasha was deeply impressed. "And she told Stark he's a moron. I like her."

"Aye, Freya is strong and wise in many ways. She has great magical knowledge, hence being the only Asgardian able to hide from Hiemdall's gaze."

Just as Thor spoke, the Bifröst opened above their heads. Other Steve staggered backwards, though this was the third time he'd seen this magic. The Bridge was beautiful, he wondered how it worked. He wanted to paint the melding color spectrum, wanted ask a million questions. But he had no right. Why hadn't he realized sooner that SHIELD was lying? Why had he gotten so aggressive with Stark? Howard, Other Steve's mind replied despairingly. Because he'd been astonished that any kid of Howard's couldn't be evil.

Four Asgardian's proudly marched forward away from the bridge, embracing Freya and Thor with enthusiastic jubilation. Fandral in particular was especially pleased to see the fair goddess again, he charmed her effortlessly.

Other Steve tried to make himself as small as possible. Their flagrant boasting made him feel uncomfortable. Freya inexplicably turned towards him. She was smiling at Other Steve with careless ease and gesturing towards the crazy aliens

"Well, Other Captain America. Introductions are in order. The Avengers already know these rambunctious scoundrels, but I hazard you don't. Meet Lady Sif and the Warriors Three! From left to right we have Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun."

Other Steve was astounded that she was being nice to him, so polite. The Avengers were downright hostile towards him, and he couldn't fathom holding that against them anymore. He was just a little overwhelmed. Everything kept happening so fast, and he could barely keep up. One minute Asgardian gods, the next, what exactly? A frightening notion.

The Asgardian's didn't seem to care about him, either, Other Steve realized. Sif was talking seriously with Thor. Tony was busy hugging Dr. Banner, babbling nonsense in his general direction and cradling a red suitcase like it was his baby. Both Clint and Natasha kept an eye on him, he'd known they would. They didn't trust him.

"So, from what Heimdall's told us, we have to destroy modified Stark tech?" Dr. Banner asked once the commotion died down.

"Alright, first things first." Captain America was in soldier mode. "Somebody should go get the Iron Man from this world, warn him before it's too late."

Freya saluted him, winking, "I can do that, easy, Captain. Iron Man might freak out and try to shoot me, though."

Thor brought his palm to rest on the top of Freya's hair, "Simply tell him that you are Freya of Asgard, friend of Sparks. He'll know you are not an enemy."

The petite deity disappeared into thin air a moment later.

"Next, the Stark Tech blueprints." Steve plowed onwards as if deities vanishing was inconsequential or a normal occurrence. (It wasn't.)

Natasha stepped forward this time, "The files are hoarded in SHEILD's server warehouse. Our dear Director Fury doesn't know that I am aware of its existence, but I suspect he consciously turns a blind eye. This SHIELD will not have planned for it. They can't fathom it's plausible, don't understand how the seed data works. It won't take long. Copies of HRG clearance are accessed through an internal Cloud system that is systematically erased or scrambled every fifteen minutes. Once the originals are wiped the duplicates will automatically be rewritten, it isn't something they can reverse. Hawkeye and I have this part, Cap. We know SHIELD security procedures best and how to bypass them."

Captain America's nose scrunched as he peered at Hawkeye, "What's your take on this SHIELD?"

"I think Fury really felt like he was saving Other-Stark by stealing his tech." Clint said. "But we'll worry about that shit after the blueprints are deleted permanently."

"As for modified SHIELD tech," Natasha smirked arrogantly. "I won't give them two bytes left between them."

"Ah, starvation is a fool-proof technique to fell the enemy!" Volstagg beat his chest, ignoring Thor's sigh.

Steve stared at the rotund Asgardian and pretended to understand his outburst, "Er, okay, sure. Thanks, Volstagg. Black Widow, Hawkeye, you've got us on the com. Keep us in the loop."

The agents agreed, and left via stairwell. The last thing they heard Clint complain about was, "Isn't it just fuckin' ironic that we're always getting into these super battles in New York City?"

"Alright," Steve focused on the Asgardians. "Lady Sif, Warrior's Three and Thor. I want you guys on smashing robots duty, so, anything metal? Break it. Don't touch any Midgardians, leave them to us."

Captain America finally regarding Tony, Bruce and the other version of himself.

"Bruce, you're on ground SHIELD duty. I want you rounding up the agents like cattle. Force them as close to Stark Tower as you can. And, Tony?"

Tony smirked euphorically when Steve demanded, "Suit up, Shellhead."

Other Steve watched with awe as the suitcase Stark held began rotating purposefully. Countless pieces of flawlessly designed metal slid into a semblance of organized chaos. Stark's body became enveloped by the interlocking patchwork, the bright centerpiece of his arc reactor glowed ostentatiously.

The process only took thirty seconds. Other Captain America noted the differences between the Iron Man he was used to fighting, and this one. The red and gold gleamed alongside the New York background. It was a work of art, if he was being completely honest.

"Jeepers," He exclaimed breathlessly. This day was like something clear out of a science fiction novel.

Tony smirked from beneath his face plate, "Okay, JARVIS, daddy's home."

"Good to have you back, sir," his AI greeted placidly. Tony ordered, "Face plate up,"

Iron Man stared at Other Steve, then back at his Steve. This was going to be the confusing part.

Tony pointedly mentioned to Thor, "Why don't you guys get a head start?"

The Asgardian's took off with gleeful cries, satisfied to be courting a battle. Bruce was held tightly and folded against Thor's torso as they raced out of sight. Tony checked the time on his screen, they had ten minutes before SHIELD intended to strike.

"Okay, other Rogers." Tony crossed his heavy mechanical arms. "I'm still pretty pissed off at you for beating me up and shit, but for now we're going to ignore that. Are you really on our side?"

"Yes." He replied firmly.

"And you're not going to attack me, my allies, or the Iron Man from this world, right?"

"I won't."

"'Kay." Tony whistled, "So-"

Steve deftly interrupted him, "I can't believe you're buying this, Tony."

Shrugging was pointless and didn't translate well while he wore his armor, "Steve, this Cap was an ass, through and through, but what if your position had been reversed? What if you had woken up in our world, didn't know anything at all, was spoon fed lies by SHIELD without knowing the difference? If they had told you somebody was an enemy, you would have believed them. It's a part of your trusting nature, and never change, but, yeah. You're kinda gullible." Tony added.

The super soldier frowned, he really couldn't imagine it. "I still wouldn't have beaten-"

"Yeah, Steve. You would have beat me in a corner being poked with a stick?"

Steve refused to concede, and crossly turned away.

Tony fiddled with his left forearm, poking at a button until a little device sprung out. He turned back to Other Steve and motioned for him to take the ear bud, "This is a communications device. Don't bother trying to trace the signal, it's my personal design. We're going to call you Rogers on the field, okay?"

Captain America gaped at him, wordless.

Tony hesitated, "What?"

"I," Steve gulped thickly. "I can't apologize enough for how I treated you. You are a hero, Stark. I can see that now."

Brown eyes widened, bewildered, "Um, what did I do, exactly? Well, I mean, yeah. You're right, I'm an Avenger, a fucking super hero. And, sure, you totally should be apologizing for getting so handsy. But what changed your mind all've a sudden?"

Other Cap fumbled for the right words, but before he could force them past his lips a pop echoed from a few feet away.

Freya was gracefully holding the bulky metal arm of Iron Man.

This Tony Stark already had his helmet off. Stark was visibly weary and exhausted as he glanced between the pair of Steve Roger's with a petulant whine.

"_How is this my life_?" Other Iron Man moaned in dismay, glancing back at his tower. "A fucking _goddess_ comes to tell me SHIELD is coming completely ransack the shit out of my fucking home? And now. Two. Not one, but two. Captain America's. Plural. Can that be plural?"

Tony chuckled at, well, himself. A version of himself. Whatever. He figured he'd might as well go with this shit.

"So, other me. If we have sex. Would it be considered masturbation in the long scheme of things?"

TBC.


	9. Dubious Alliance

_A/N: Also known as the chapter where a few overwhelmed Super Folk procrastinate uncertainly from a dire battle. This story might actually end up being longer than ten chapters. Enjoy :3 And please leave a comment!_

Tony Stark's doppelganger stared at him(self?) with astonished awe for a long stretch of silence.

Then promptly burst into obnoxiously blithesome peels of laughter. Other-Tony's face flushed to an unflattering crimson. His eyes became incredulous with disbelief as he hunched over despite himself, thick metal gloves resting against iron-clad thighs. He laughed wholeheartedly and almost neurotically, with an invigoratingly wild abandon. A grin was plastered helplessly between his cheeks.

"Oh my god, _oh my god_," He panted, pitching into another fit.

"I don't know! Wanna find out?" Other Tony managed past huffs of air. "Ahhh, that's great though. Other version of me, you get full marks. Hahaaaa. What would the very first question I'd ask my other-dimension self be? Hmmm. God damn, I didn't even bother to think about that properly. Sloppy and shortsighted, really. I guess it's justified. What with Nordic deities running around and SHIELD trying to destroy my shit. Again."

"You're just bitter that you didn't think of it first." Tony mocked with his transparently false scowl of disapproval. "I've had more time to think about my question."

"Fuck off! Hehe~" Other Tony smirked, white teeth flashing gleefully. "Okay, how 'bout we write my lacking performance off as exhaustion? Think of it as erectile disfunction cause I'm too shy and we've just met. Let's reconsider later when I've gained my confidence back?"

Steve found Other Tony's uninhibited retorts rather comely and fondly nostalgic. Laughter coating smutty humor inevitably suited Tony Stark. That hadn't changed.

He was glad this Stark knew how to laugh, at least. Because it seemed like he hadn't in a very long time. Steve's heart ached when he thought much about how horribly this Stark was treated for his sheer brilliance and innovation. It made him swell with affection as he relearned how inconceivably strong the Tony that he loved was. Tony had had to fight past SHIELD in their own world. But that silly and wonderful man managed to triumph. He'd fought for the destiny that others doubted, but that he had frankly inevitably deserved.

Other Stark hadn't had a chance to prove himself. Until now. Avenger Cap knew how this realm's SHIELD felt about Stark. Those abhorrent fabrications directly translated as bruises upon his own Tony. Unforgivable. If this Iron Man was caught by SHIELD, he'd be treated with unquestionable violence. All for a lie, a cover-up. They must be stopped, Steve affirmed inwardly. Oh. Him and Fury were going to have- words. That was a incontrovertible certainty.

Other-Steve remained perfectly still and quiet. Every muscle he possessed was tensing with a flurry of combating emotions. Emotions that he couldn't fathom giving a name to. His head was a blur. A series of lights flashing across his vision and making him dizzy and unsure what was tangibly real or a fabrication any longer. Drugged, or sedated, something akin to that. Other Cap could only seem to hang on for his dear life by this point.

Tony eyed the Iron Man suit before him with careful precision. The genius was able to ascertain a better understanding of the foreign armor now that he wasn't concussed or prone to passing out. In his not-so-humble opinion- his Iron Man armor was way better. Pssh. It wasn't even a contest. And Steve would totally agree with him. Wins all around.

Because Tony had had the Avengers to help test and practice and tear the absolute shit out of his suits. He'd had a longer time to make his armor efficient and lightweight. Deceptively strong was how Pepper put it. This Other Iron Man was clunky. The frame too similar to the Hulkbuster to be sufficiently aerodynamic. He reasoned it was because they'd had different end goals with what they wanted from the armor.

Dopple Iron Man was built to destroy. And tritely enough, his suit was built to protect.

"Let's get back to the matter at hand, Tony." Steve sighed, breaking Tony from his inner musings.

Steve's arms folded over his chest, blue gaze flicking towards the distant action with his typical antsy habit. Truth-be-told, Cap was equally amused by the pair. But, priorities. First they had a battle to fight.

Tony beamed at Steve, brown eyes alight with mirth, "Aww, don't be like that Captain Sassypants. This'll be fun."

"I agree," Freya stated, a perfectly coiffed eyebrow aloft as she hummed thoughtfully. "A little comedic relief might not be the worst thing before a conflict. Especially a meth-level trippy fight with a bunch of quote-unquote body-doubles."

"Somehow I thought you'd talk more like Sparks. I mean Thor," Other Tony commented, gazing at Freya out of the corner of his eye with piercingly inquisitive intent. "Being from Asgard. All, like, ya know. Olden speak and stuff."

"I totally thought that, too. Me." Tony deadpanned, meeting his other version's eyes with wary determination.

Freya snorted, gazing distantly at Stark Tower, "I've witnessed versions of Midgard for an age longer than Thor was even conceived. He's a typical Asgardian Prince. Hopelessly stupid, but with grand and noble intentions. I've got a feeling he's pretty dumb when it comes to modern tech also."

"Freya, the way you sling American slang, it's super unsettling." Tony mentioned unhelpfully. "And about Thor, you also have no goddamn idea. First time Clint introduced that menace to Mario Kart, he fucking smashed my eighty-five-inch mother fuckin' custom built high-def plasma. We're talking like fourteen grand worth of tech. Thanks, Mjolnir."

Tony nodded in commiseration with Freya, "I've learned to Thor-proof everything I own. And Hulk proof. Another story."

"Getting off topic, again," Steve reminded.

Tony snorted, turning to himself, "Okay. Well, so. _Hi_. Me. Bad day?"

Other Tony gave a gesture that could be translated as a shrug, alongside a theatrical frown, "Meh, I've had better. So the great god of thunder tells me that Captain America from lala world is- um. Your friend. And stuff. That's weird."

Tony shook his head in firm negation, "Not as weird as you might think. I mean-"

"Tony," Steve bit, voice tinged with anger. The sound of gunfire blazing miles away made it hard for him to concentrate.

Avenger Iron Man gulped, "Okay, okay, let's just get a few things all sorted before we go running off. Oh? Freya, you can feel free to join the Asgardians any time now. They are going after bots, no Midgardians. Cool?"

Freya affected a dramatically simpering frown, "But this was so much more entertaining."

Before any of them could comment, she vanished with aplomb like a cheshire cat.

"Yeah. That's pretty fucking weird, by the way." Other Tony pointed his index finger uselessly towards the spot Freya vacated. Other Steve agreed silently. Because, yeah, magic. That was another ball game from hydra weapons.

"It is for us too," Avenger Steve assured Stark, adjusting his shield on his back unconsciously as he tried to stave back undeniable panic.

The two Tony's and two Steve's glanced between themselves for one incredibly morbid and surreal moment. Tony would honestly not wish such a moment upon his greatest enemy. It was. That. Awkward.

So, Tony started rambling. Good thing spewing words was something he was exceptionally proficient at:

"Okay, yeah. I'm going to give you the quick low-down. You can ask questions once I'm done. Kay? The Avengers know that SHIELD stole Stark Tech. Fucking filthy bastards. We know they blamed their disasters on you. And then fuckin' modified our tech and probably made it reasonably useless in the process. Idiots. We know SHIELD blamed you for nukes that you stopped, kudos for being badass. And for Brucey-babe Hulking out. I mean, c'mon. Poor guy. I'm sure your realm's Bruce hates himself for accidentally harming anyone. Bruce says being the Hulk is just akin to flaunting a vulnerable nerve."

Other Tony flinched, anguish leaving his face so quickly it was barely distinguishable.

Tony cleared his throat, chocking slightly on his subsequent words, "So, tl;dr: The Avengers are going to help resolve this unfortunate conflict."

Other Tony nodded, but gulped when he saw a burst of flames from his tower. His face was aghast and he wanted to screw this talking shit and go protect his home. "Are we done yet?"

Tony was also watching the chaos five miles away as his speech sped up, "The Asgardians are going after the bots. Hawkeye and Widow are going for the stolen backup data, they know SHIELD secrets and can make sure anything taken from you is erased permanently from their servers. Bruce is here, he'll be busy Hulk-smashing things, try not to get in his way."

Tony pointed at Steve, "Our Cap is a good guy, no touchy, _kapice_? Under any circumstance you will not hurt him. Just. **Don't**. Other Cap is kind of a shit-head but was lied to by SHIELD and is probably going to cry when he apologizes later."

Other Steve had the grace to cringe a nod in Other Iron Man's direction.

Other Tony wasn't amused. He spat towards Other Steve, "Okay, and how do we know the SHIELD Captain is telling the damn truth? Because honestly. Last time I saw this bastard on the battlefield, the shield my fucking asshole father made him almost penetrated my lateral rotational lock-joint. And that is not easy to do."

Other Steve opened his mouth to respond but Tony beat him to it with effortless fluidity, "We don't know for sure what the fuck this world's Cap is thinking. Well, I don't. I digress. Other me- I can assure you with factual certainty. I know Captain Steven Grant Rogers. I usually call him Steve, or Cap, but anyway."

Iron Man moved alongside Steve, wrapping his metal-clad fingers around the super soldiers shoulder. "I'd trust this man with fuckin' everything. He's a legend who really lives up to the legend."

Tony eventually motioned between him and his other self, "And hey. We aren't super different, are we?"

Steve turned with a snort, his attention fixed upon the nearly-identical pair.

"Therefore, logic dictates." Tony elaborated with languid flourish. "The Steve from _mi casa_ can't be that different than Cap from _es su casa_. And for this battle can we at least agree to be on the same team?"

Other Iron Man shifted his helmet from hand to hand, peering at Captain America dolefully. "Okay, I agree."

Tony turned to Other Steve who emitted a squeaky, "Agreed."

The whine of metal crashing onto pavement ricocheted across the sky. Tony glanced at Steve, and they simultaneously pulled on their respective helmet and cowl.

"Our comm is at 28.773 megahertz." Iron Man stated with his tinny mechanical voice. "And we're going to call you Stark on the field. He's Rogers, and Cap's Captain."

"What are you?" Other Iron Man's helmet locked with an audible click.

"Iron Man obviously." Tony preened.

"Well that's not fair, I'm this world's-"

"We'll call him Tony, we'll call you Iron Man." Steve burst in, "Now can we please go?"

Tony turned to the Captain America that beat him up not even ten hours ago, "Okay, grab on somehow. I'll fly us over."

"Tony," Steve accidentally wailed, appearing more upset than he rightfully should.

"I'll be fine, Steve. Just don't get your ass killed, okay?" Tony remarked rhetorically, noting when Other Cap's grip tightened adequately. He took off a moment later, forcing his repulsers to stabilize the added weight. JARVIS blared stats along his screen, he ate the data up with a greedy anticipation. Oh, this would be fun.

Other Tony turned towards the oddly friendly version of Captain America, and for the millionth time wondered how his life could be so damn fucked up beyond belief. He supposed he'd have to carry the guy.

"Okay, Captain, shall we?"

Captain America curled his beefy arms around the Iron Man suit effortlessly, knowing exactly where his back repulsers sat and placing his boots atop Iron shoes. Tony was struck by the fact that this Captain had obviously flown with Iron Man before, and knew common parts of his suit. It was a little unnerving, but then again he'd probably need therapy for the rest of his damn life after this week.

Iron Man took off, Cap easily adjusting his body with the armor so they could reach maximum speed.

"Can you see the Hulk?" Cap shouted over the wind.

"Yep."

His comm was probably located in his cowl, Tony noted, not near his mouth. Which must be why his authoritative words were difficult to focus on. Yeah, that sounded about right. God, why did it feel so damn wonderful to have this paragon of cliche virtues clutched in his arms? It just wasn't decent.

"Drop me off next to the Hulk," Steve ordered carelessly. "I'm going to round up SHIELD and point them towards Stark Tower. After Hawkeye and Widow give the okay we'll go in and shut them down."

"And then what?" Iron Man angled down, his repulsers eating up the distance between them and the battle.

"We'll probably go eat shawarma!" Steve shouted, pushing himself away from Iron Man's grip and dropping into gun shots.

Iron Man spun, surprised, and watched Captain America kick the crap out of a few SHIELD agents. It was a wonderful sight.

Over his comma he suddenly heard his own voice, "How's it looking up fourth, Thor?"

"We have everything under control."

"Oh?" A mocking female voice snarled. She had the same rough accent as Thor, "Is that why everything's on fire?"

"Um, who was that?" Other Tony asked aloud.

"Don't worry, Iron Man that's, ugh-" Tony grunted aggressively, "Hit that jux with 75 percent aux mode, J. Haha, bitches. Anyway, don't worry, those are Asgardian's. We'll save the introductions for later."

"Less chatter," Steve commanded breathlessly. He was rolling across the top of a smoking car, knees slamming into pavement as three SHIELD agents cornered him. He raised his shield offensively.

"Shoot. I've got a situation-" Steve began, just in time to hear the Hulk roar. "Nevermind."

He smoothly shuffled backwards and let the green guy take down the agents eagerly. When they attempted to shoot at him, Hulk's face curled with distaste and simply made him angrier.

The bulkier Iron Man sped across the sky, shooting efficiently at bots and tackling SHIELD agents to incapacitate but not kill them. The Captain, the one from his world, was furiously bashing at bots near his vicinity.

Other Steve was quite simply very frustrated, and this was the epitome of the perfect way to vent his stress. So he took out machine after machine, the lies SHIELD had managed to make him believe spinning in his head. He'd thought these bots were good things, advancements of technology. But he now saw with unclouded eyes how they shot Stark Tower. Or shot at the Asgardian Freya, a tiny child-like figure with such a sad story surrounding her.

They'd been condemning a man to die without a trial. Captain America was overwhelmed by how naive he'd been and was incomprehensibly disgusted with himself.

Not to mention this Avenger Iron Man. This character who was actually a hero but masked himself with guarded retorts. Steve brutally harmed him only to have the Avenger push past that fact as if it was inconsequential. He didn't deserve it. Then Iron man carried him towards their current battle, only to wish him good luck after dropping him off. It didn't matter if the Stark from this world wouldn't forgive him.

He most likely would be unable to forgive himself.

Captain America spotted the group of Asgardian's throwing weapons towards a fleet of mechanical bots. Their magnetic shield bounced the attack, but Steve knew just what to do. With a burst of speed, he flew overhead the Asgardian's and tackled a bot bodily. Pulling the wire from the back, he jumped to avoid being hit. He noticed after he was a second too late, he didn't have time to grab his shield- They were going to hit him.

Then he was painfully tugged into the air by a strong grip, his feet dangling. The sharp ding of repulser energy snapping into hard tech nearly made him flinch. Raising his chin with surprise, he stared at Iron Man. "Um,"

The cocky 'villain' Stark cooed through his electronic voice-modifier, "C'mon Rogers, you gotta be quicker than that!"

Cap couldn't help but salute formally as his response as Stark dropped him. He deftly crouched to tackle a nearby SHIELD agent.

He would salvage his relationship with this genius mislabeled villain, even if it killed him.

TBC.


	10. Adversity Makes Men Wise

The bulkier version of Iron Man from this world aimed his repulsers directly at an oncoming team of bots. These newer modified machines had limited artificial intelligence capabilities that Tony created himself back in the day. They weren't superbly designed, but still managed to deflect statistically predictable attacks. It was damn irritating.

It soon became apparent to the engineering genius that these machines hadn't been updated recently. Therefore they couldn't process to their fullest capability. It was a trite mercy. He deftly ignored the ringing in his ears when a blast came in from his blind spot. It nicked across his lower back. The hit didn't penetrate the second layer of armor, but it was a near thing.

"JARVIS, what's the damage stats on that?" Tony demanded tersely, craning his torso around to avoid another assault.

"We are at 68%, repulser at 52%. Sir, incoming," JARVIS informed him dutifully. "I suggest we exhaust our remaining reserves."

"Okay, hit 'em with the A1 ammo." Tony grit his teeth, sweat dripping down his forehead. A ding told him JARVIS was confirming that order

The lock mechanism released and twelve golf ball sized missiles darted towards the newest group of enemy tech. Once the gleaming bots were nothing but smoke and ash, a new set swiftly replaced them.

"It just never ends!" Tony growled to himself. A series of near-hits sent him skidding across the side of an apartment complex. The metal tore through brick before he stabilized his armor.

"Damage now at 59%." Iron Man rounded the corner of the building, trying to throw the bots off track. They'd never been able to bank worth a damn, he used that to his advantage.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is in danger."

Iron Man balked incredulously at his AI, but spun despite himself. He thought JARVIS was referring to the Avenger Rogers. Yet when he spotted the soldier about a block away he couldn't hold back his gasp. Because SHIELD's Captain America was a stupid fucking idiot, goddammit. His holier-than-thou patriotic self was diving headlong into the middle of nearly fifteen bots. Did the guy have a death wish?

Spangles started tearing key wires mercilessly and efficiently. Of course SHIELD taught him how the stolen Stark tech worked. And the best manner with which to disable them. He stared, something akin to respect slightly choking, as Cap wiped out the set of bots. The bastard made it almost look easy, child's play. His sensors locked onto the attack JARVIS had predicted and he was flying towards Captain Asshat before he could think twice about it. The guy didn't have a chance in hell, his back was turned and a bot was already firing. Iron Man saw the exact moment Rogers realized he was fucked, it was actually kinda cute.

So he hooked his forearms under Cap's armpits and flung his repulsers upwards with full power, hoisting the super solider into the air as if his beefy body was a doll with cut strings.

Tony, being Tony, immediately teased, "C'mon Rogers, you gotta be quicker than that!"

Incredulous bright cerulean eyes peered over his shoulder. His mouth gaped wide when he ascertained his rescuers identity.

"Um," Steve eloquently blurted.

His transparent expression was an open book. This Cap was equal parts exasperated, tired, aghast, overwhelmed, dismayed, and extraordinarily all sorts of pissed off. Maybe more than a little bit embarrassed. Which was eerily close to how Tony himself felt at that particular moment. Rogers' chin was cocked defiantly. He was a disgustingly handsome man. Tony beat those thoughts into violent submission. He was thinking nice thoughts about Spangles. That needed to stop pronto.

Hauling Cap off down the block he let the man drop safely to the ground. Iron Man spotted Rogers salute him before Red White and Angry tackled and back-kicked the nearest agent. Tony felt his stomach swoop anxiously. God, the man saluted him. All military style and shit. Tony didn't have the luxury to respond because he was already refocused on the battle at hand. Okay, he thought. So working together with Captain Uptight. The man who had been, until very recently, trying to capture him for being a mass murderer. That was a thing now. Okay. Tony tried not to panic.

Then Iron Man spotted a fierce female Asgardian with dark hair beating the living snot out of a bot twice her size with a frankly impressive demonstration of strength. His suit angled sharply around a street. He adjusted his speed and hugged the ground. Tony began maneuvering around flaming cars and terrified civilians, once in a while punching his repulsers towards a half-dead bot.

His armor rotated just in time to see Freya giggling in the middle of a sidewalk. The tiny Asgardian was gleefully shoving bots into buildings with damaging precision. He supposed that she was playing her own sort of entertaining and completive game. With a pop she kept vanishing into thin air only to reappear feet behind her target. Then she would cackle darkly and continue demolishing the subsequent machine.

Okay, so that was a thing now too.

At least the Hulk was familiar, he thought with misplaced fondness. Big Green was currently roaring in his periphery as he bounced from building to building with ease. Hulk easily demolished hoards of tech, their mechanical carnage wonderful and poignantly satisfying for Tony. The stolen tech should all meet the same fate, in his opinion.

Iron Man knew that this Hulk wasn't really his Bruce. His Bruce was still wallowing in self-guilt over the China Incident as Tony'd dubbed it. But Tony was oddly grateful that the Hulk hadn't changed across dimensions. The poor lug simply destroyed the everlasting shit out of anything unfortunate to cross his path. It was comforting in its consistency. The only difference was that this Hulk seemed to know not to harm the Avengers or their allies. He'd seen this oriental Asgardian dude get within arms distance, which was frequently a suicidal endeavor. But the Hulk hadn't gone to smash the aliens, not the man.

It was almost as if he was ignoring them entirely.

Tony soared upwards into the sky, trying to assess his current situation. Once he was high enough, JARVIS began feeding him readings on the damage and a count of remaining bots.

"Yo, Iron Man," He heard the double version of himself call over the comm. "Wanna tag team that giant fucker over there?"

JARVIS automatically zoomed on the enemy in question. Oh, super. They'd made his M9 into a goddamn unit the size of a tank. Fury was seriously compensating for something with this one. It was so ostentatious, even by his standards. All decked out for the pony show. His dimensional double tore across the cityscape from about a mile off so he followed without hesitation.

"Kay, sounds good." Iron Man demurred. "Let's just try to be safe about this. Tag teaming for the first time can be rather risky without proper protection."

Avenger Tony chuckled audibly with wry amusement. Stark thought he heard Rogers sigh, but he didn't know which one.

Iron Man focused on the modified M9 and remained linked to the group comm as he muttered, "JARVIS, get me a good scan of that and compare it to the original prints. What's different?"

"The hydraulic exhaustion port and central stabling pack are now located in the rear. It appears the weapons chambers were enlarged by 35%. The device would be very bottom heavy." JARVIS noted, flashing deconstructed scans of the modified tech for him.

"Okay. Me. Let's hit this bastard right in the ass."

Iron Man landed with the crackle of metal slaughtering solid concrete. His suit was brutally tearing through the road. The heavy tech continued sliding before its inertia ran out.

"Oh, dear. Tag teaming in the ass for our very first time?" Avenger Tony mocked as he landed with infinitely more grace and precision. His armor touched down, feather light. He smoothy affected, "And here I thought we had something special."

"Show off," Iron Man's pout was unmistakable.

"Don't you know it." The Avenger replied rhetorically. "Okay, on three?"

Immediately both lifted their dual hand repulsers directly at the rear of the giant bot and fired without warning. They shouted in unison, "Three!"

The metal sheets protecting this unit were heavy duty. But it wasn't strong enough to hold after four carefully fired blasts exploded simultaneously. The bot swayed, so Iron Man took that moment to skip up and kick the main wire connecting the ammo stores to the primary weapons system. It was a flaw he'd known about, but hadn't yet had a chance to correct when SHIELD stole his tech. Obviously SHIELD employed amateur engineers if they hadn't found that glaring defect by now.

The M9 groaned under its own weight, swaying before dropping with a gust of wind and smoke. Tony shot three more times in precise spots, the inner-circuits burned beyond recognition or repair. He hoped SHIELD didn't have a bunch of these big fucks on standby. The M9 was designed to cause deplorable damage to property and life. Tony regretted ever building that model. Never again, he swore inwardly. He would never build commercial weapons for as long as he lived.

It was damn reckless of SHIELD to have released even one M9 into a densely populated metropolis such as New York City. Allthis just to take him down? Iron Man couldn't seem to wrap his head around that.

The pair of doppelgängers took off in opposite directions, Avenger Tony catcalling after himself, "That was real nice baby. Let's do it again sometime."

Iron Man tried to respond but was busy maneuvering into a fierce raid. Flying past the Hulk, he spotted Thor majestically turning a bot into dust with his hammer. Iron Man yearned with sheerly insatiable curiosity to examine that foreign weapon. For science, of course. He wondered if Thor would let him hold the hammer. Maybe pose with it for a photo? That would be so perfect for his memento of this utterly fucked up phase of history.

"Hey Sparks," Iron Man waved. "How goes it?"

Thor beamed at him, looking very pleased with himself. The god of thunder was slick with sweat and his chest heaved while he panted, "Grand, man of iron! I am verily pleased to see you are safe."

Iron Man took out a bot over Thor's shoulder. He asked the open comm, "So where are all the SHIELD agents? 'Cause I see shit tons of bots but not too many agents. And that makes me worried."

"It seems like they are hiding in the penthouse of Stark Tower," Captain America replied, and Tony wasn't sure which version. Damn this whole double person shit got confusing. If it was Avenger Cap he was more likely to accept that as a fact. But if it was SHIELD's Cap, he remained uncharacteristically uncertain.

"Um. Fury's not that stupid. Is he?" He mentioned, flying alongside Thor towards his tower with a burst of speed. The poor building had taken quite a beating. Half of his last name was missing, leaving the letters STA behind. Several floors smoldered, the gurgle of melting metal chorusing with the shrill cry of sirens off in the distance. He idly thought about how the news outlets were covering this confusing battle. He'd seen several idiotic reporters risking their necks to get up-close footage.

Iron Man was idly glad his work lab was clear across the city. But still. This was his tower and he kinda loved his tower and they were damaging it and that just wasn't fair. His life was too complicated. He really felt like he hadn't done anything to deserve this. Poor Pepper Potts was going to murder him in cold blood if SHIELD didn't manage to beat her to it. The paperwork alone. His world was about to irrevocably change. He sadly envied this Avenger Iron Man who seemed to have his life together in a somewhat semblance of order. And, okay. His armor was kinda awesome too and other him won on that front. Dammit. He'd never admit it aloud.

"Where are Widow and Hawkeye?" Avenger Stark sounded breathless, he was also hovering near the tower at ground level. The Avengers and Asgaridan warriors seemed to be moving closer at their own pace.

"No word yet. Think there was trouble, Tony?" That had to be the Avenger Cap then.

He sounded so- openly worried. The lack of snottiness made the guy oddly appealing. His dulcet voice was calming yet firmly commanding. This Cap could be reading aloud from a fucking Twilight novel and still manage to make it sound like poetry.

"Well if- Oh _shit_!" Avenger Stark spat suddenly, "Shit, shit. Yo Volstagg, I could use a hand!"

"You shall hit low and I shall aim high." Volstagg boomed, running deceptively fast for his sheer bulk.

Iron Man couldn't see what happened next, but a ear-splitting crash following the tell-tale whine of repulsers cutting unexpectedly short. It made him uneasy.

"Tony, report!" Avenger Steve demanded savagely. He took off towards Iron Man's last location, leaping with finesse over debris. He repeated desperately, "Tony!"

Tony coughed, throat dry as he grumbled, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Ugh, that building sure did pack a punch."

"Agreed," Volstagg managed, the sound of him spitting echoed on the comms. "What is this strange dust?"

"It's bits of glass," Tony sighed, managing to balance mocking with friendly. "Stop swallowing it, dude. That's not good for you."

"The mighty Volstagg can consume nearly anything, edible or not." Fandral said, hoisting his sword over his shoulder carelessly. He started swiping at Volstagg's beard with his free hand, "Here my dear brother. I shall assist."

Volstagg and Fandral wandered into the open from beneath a concrete enclosure. They were both supporting exhausted dead weight. Iron Man reappeared behind them. His armor was scratched chaotically, nearly every section dented and marked in some manner.

"Tony, I can't find you," Steve high pitch was clearly frustrated.

"One sec, Cap, promise. Damage report, JARVIS?" Avenger Tony's inquired before he flipped off his open comm. JARVIS displayed the relevant data, so he tried to calculate how long he could keep fighting. The suit wasn't going to hold forever, his power reserves were already dipping dangerously.

That's when Tony noticed he'd gotten a message via his VPN from Black Widow. He checked his surroundings before focusing on the words.

Scanning the contents he couldn't help but smile and huff with relief, "Well, that's good news. I really wanna go home. And take a bath. And make out with a naked and gloriously wet Steve. Put those things on my 'urgent' to-do list, JARVIS."

"Noted, sir." JARVIS agreed smoothly.

"Open a private line with Steve."

"Already connecting, sir."

"Steve?" Tony's repulsers spurted unsteadily as he flew. He saw Freya flash past him for an instant but paid her no heed.

"Tony, what's up?" Steve sounded tired but Tony knew the guy had more stamina than a Viagra overdose.

Steve was distinctly relieved to know that his genius was safe and mostly unharmed, "You okay?"

"Tash sent us a message. She said that when her and Clint got to the database archives, all the info was already wiped clean. There wasn't a hint that Stark Tech of any incarnation, including SHIELD mods, had ever been stored."

"What, how can that be possible?" Steve was surprised and rather aghast as his chin lifted in consternation to watch Tony land. He propped his shield over his back, a faint smile softening his stern features.

Tony touched down mere feet from Steve's bruised and battered but beautifully alive body. He resisted his undeniable urge to launch himself into that super soldier's masculine embrace and never fucking let go. That or kiss him senseless in front of any reporter in this world. Just to freak everyone out. He knew Steve wouldn't find it very funny or reasonable, so he valiantly restrained himself.

Tony sighed over his mechanical speakers, "Tash thinks that this world's Widow and Hawkeye did it, probably under Fury's orders. They are heading back in a stolen jet, should be here in under five minutes."

Steve tugged his cowl off, his left cheek was smudged with dirt. "So I guess it's time for the final show?"

Iron Man's faceplate flipped open, "I suppose so. Let's get this over with. Call it, mon capitan."

"Avengers, Asgardians, listen up." Steve ordered over his comm. "And, ah, Iron Man and Rogers."

Besides the roar of Hulk in the distance, the city became hushed. The group congregated around Steve without hesitation, Rogers near the back with Iron Man floating above them. His bulkier armor was a lot less fucked up looking by this point than Tony's, but still in deplorable shape.

"We just got word from Black Widow and Hawkeye. So here is the plan." Steve shifted his gaze towards the tower. "Asgardian's, except Thor. I want you to stay out here and protect the permitter of Stark Tower. Don't let anyone in or out. Hulk will continue smashing bots and generally keeping civilians away from the tower. Avengers, we'll move in with Rogers and Iron Man. We've gotta be quick, and we've gotta be ruthless. Disarm agents, but don't kill them. It's not their fault this SHIELD is run by total assholes."

"I love it when you swear, Cap." Tony remarked fondly, crossing metal arms over his dinged chest plate.

Steve sighed fondly. He met Tony's warm brown eyes and added for the millionth time, "I was a soldier, remember?"

Tony smirked at him knowingly for a long moment. It was an inside joke.

Captain America spun to frown at his dimensional twin, "Now would be the time to run if you plan on betraying us."

Cap shook his head in negation, his mouth pursed into a thin line. His stubborn features were set with dogged resolve. "That won't be happening."

"Okay." Steve glanced to the remaining group, "Everyone else clear?"

A collective murmur of assent.

"Iron Man," Captain addressed. "You keep the patio on the left side of tower accessible, right?"

"Affirmative." Tony stated thoughtfully. "Fury will figure I come in through the main landing pad. We may catch him off guard?"

"Doubtful." Rogers warned them. "I don't know what Fury is planning, only that he has been working on this scenario for a long time."

"And the Director shall be verily displeased by your defection I presume." Thor hazarded.

Cap's expression crumpled, "Um, yeah."

"You defected from SHIELD?" Iron Man sputtered, dropping his armor suddenly to the ground near Cap, who responded with an astonished yelp. His face plate slide away to reveal weary confusion.

A blond eyebrow quirked up his forehead, Steve waved his arm uselessly, shield in hand, "Seriously Stark? I've been kind of destroying SHIELD bots for the last hour or however long that nonsense lasted."

"Well, yeah, I guess." He peered at Rogers suspiciously. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"This again?" Rogers whined petulantly. He was trying to reign in his temper. It wasn't Stark's fault in any way, after all. If anything Stark was the victim of unfortunate circumstances.

Avenger Tony exchanged a discrete and telling smile with Steve. Cap pulled his cowl back over his head, shifting anxiously.

"How about we go and talk with Fury," Rogers reasoned with forced calm. "Then you can hear for yourself."

Stark's helmet snapped back into place, and he motioned to take off. Hesitating, he jabbed a metal finger at Rogers. "Hey Sparks, wanna give Captain Sassypants here a lift?"

Avenger Tony already had his Cap safely twined around him. The Asgardian's shouted their boons of good fortune as the pair of Avengers took off towards the patio of this world's Stark Tower. Iron Man was hot on their heels.

Captain watched them depart and sighed to himself, disheartened.

Thor paused, staring down at him solemnly, "I see you have regrets, Captain."

Steve glared sullenly at the god, and said nothing.

Thor's free hand tucked upon his parted lips, "You have apologized to Anthony, however, which took courage."

"Apologizing shouldn't take courage," The Captain vehemently protested. "Not if you actually caused harm in the first place and have something to be so ashamed about."

He stared at his shield awkwardly and confessed, "I don't know what I was thinking. Even if Stark was a villain, hurting him like that was the cowardly thing to do. I got so upset when he talked about the Avengers, I thought he was a sociopathic lunatic. Yet even before we used him as bait and you arrived, I knew something was very wrong. It was a gut feeling, instinctual, and I foolishly ignored it."

Steve stared desperately at Thor, tears stinging the corner of his eyes while he choked, "I don't know why I did that. I never do that."

Thor heaved a great forgiving sigh and patted Captain's shoulder, "Aye, this remorse is understandable. However, in Asgard we often say that adversity makes men incomprehensibly wise. So long as you learn from this mistake you can always move forward with valiant direction. Honorable Captain, I digress."

Thor tugged Steve into his arms and held Mjolnir aloft. "For now, we must depart."

Captain America was a not a small guy by any means, but tucked against Thor's chest he felt scrawny and inescapably human. It only took moments for Thor to sweep them away and catch up with the Avengers. At least Rogers could write off his red eyes from the wind, he thought despairingly as he fought to harden his resolve.

The eccentric looking group walked side-by-side into Stark Tower. Stark of course, walked like he owned the place. Because he did. Luckily SHIELD hadn't seem to trash the inside too badly, his beloved bar was still intact.

Fury stood in the center of Tony's penthouse near the leather couches with his arms dramatically crossed. Coulson, Barton and Romanova flanked him on either side. Avenger Cap looked around for hiding agents, but it appeared as if they had the place to themselves. Good, he didn't want innocent agents who are just following orders to get hurt.

"Now. I think it's time we all sit down to have a nice little chat." Fury deadpanned, sweeping his arm to the couch and earning a snort from both Tony's.

"So nice of you to invite yourselves in, Fury and team." Stark spat, and for the first time pulled his Iron Man helmet off in front of SHIELD. They already knew who he was, so it didn't truly matter. It was the damn principle of it all, Tony supposed. Because he was Tony Fucking Stark and he was a badass that eluded them with annoyingly taunting precision.

Thor strode forward and was first to take a seat, he balanced Mjolnir on the edge of the glass coffee table pointedly. Avenger Cap and Tony followed. Both Stark and Rogers remained standing. They shuffled near each other warily before Rogers turned his burning glare on Fury. Just as Fury opened his mouth to begin, they were interrupted.

"Well, that was a waste of time," Clint whined as the elevator dinged open. He sauntered out with a dramatic flourish.

Natasha smiled softly as they took their place at the Avenger's side, but her piercing gaze was singled out upon Nick Fury.

"I suppose that's not entirely true." She admonished evenly.

"Okay, are we going to have any more interruptions?" Fury inquired. The Director pulled a black device from his pocket and flipped it open, a light blinking. Tony knew it was a radio scrambling device, ensuring no one unwanted would be able to listen in.

Avenger Widow perched on the edge of the couch and softly asked in return, "Why did you destroy Stark's data that you stole from SHIELD servers to begin with?"

Stark gaped, "Wait, what?"

Fury snorted and pointed out, "Well, it's not like you weren't going to delete it anyway."

Natasha cocked her chin, conceding his argument. Clint huffed, sticking his tongue out at Fury childishly.

"Story time." Fury barked. "Stark, stop fidgeting."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Stark snarled, stepping forward but Roger's arm shot out in front of him.

Rogers didn't spare him a glance as he stated with a menacing whisper, "Start talking, Fury."

"SHIELD was in the middle of an internal civil war." Coulson pipped effortlessly. "It's all very hush hush, as you'd imagine. The main line of contention had always been what to do with Tony Stark."

"Oh?" Avenger Tony laughed humorlessly. "With the man or his tech?"

"Both." Coulson admitted. "The Higher Ups wanted to make him disappear with a staged accident. They planned to steal his tech after he was dead and no longer a threat. The Tony Stark of this alternate world mentioned how he was kidnapped in Afghanistan and that's how he got the device that would kill him if we removed it embedded in his chest."

Stark glanced over curiously, frowning absently.

Tony stiffened, disgust pooling within his stomach, "Yes."

"That's very close to how SHIELD planned to rid themselves of Stark." Black Widow murmured, crossing her slender fingers. "They planned to have him kidnapped by terrorists and tortured to death."

Fury deftly continued, "So, I took the initiative. I ordered Stark's tech to be stolen without SHIELD's knowledge. I had my best agents on the mission. Once we'd obtained the blueprints, the Higher Ups were happy enough to forget about Stark momentarily. But then Iron Man appeared and the situation snowballed from there. I convinced SHIELD that Stark couldn't be Iron Man. Stark started consulting for us, and for a bit he was safe."

"So you want me to believe you did all this to keep me safe?" Stark snarled, spit flying from his mouth as he screamed with wild abandon. "Are you fucking kidding me? You made me an international terrorist! I never had a fucking say in that shit. You can't seriously believe your own self-justifying bullshit.""

"You were safe until you refused to build an armored suit." Fury continued as if he hadn't heard, voice rising. "That's when SHIELD started their vendetta to condemn you as a genocidal maniac. We played along with them to make sure they didn't do something fucking stupid with your tech. We prevented routine upgrades but at every corner they would start some new shit. Then things peaked to desperate levels when this Stark magically poofed into the center of SHIELD's fucking headquarters."

"We have been taking apart the Higher Ups web of intelligence mercilessly for years now. It's an inside job, the four of us had been the only ones to know." Other Hawkeye confirmed. "SHIELD isn't evil, per say, as an organization. But the four people who were in power, and they have been held accountable for their sins, were not super nice. They launched the nukes for their own reasons, and much of that bullshit had to do with unchecked severely deranged megalomania complexes and crippling performance issues."

"What Barton is trying to say is that once SHIELD thought we were working against them, their attacks grew more violent and their caution became nonexistent." Black Widow hummed to herself. "SHIELD needs some hierarchy renovations, I'll give you that."

"This bullshit doesn't explain why you lied to me." Captain Rogers cut in, nails digging cuts into the soft flesh on his hands as he struggled not to attack them out of sheer rage.

"To be honest," Natasha met his eyes. "It's because we couldn't trust you. You've always been a military puppet. Why would that change?"

This time around it was Stark who had to stop Rogers from flying at SHIELD.

"And you figured that if the SHIELD higher ups thought Captain America was on their side, they had the advantage." Avenger Tony reasoned, taking the mental leap. "They had him to hold against you. He was the bait."

Fury frowned, "Yep. Pretty much."

"How would they be able to hold Captain Sass over your heads?" Iron Man demanded.

"He's a goddamn super soldier, Stark. Highly wanted military technology." Fury gave a sour face. "They basically threatened to experiment on Rogers like a lab rat if we didn't do as we were told."

Steve gaped, the air punched out of his lungs, "What?"

"You don't have to believe us." Coulson added, taking a step towards the Avengers. "And you quite frankly shouldn't trust us."

"Agent Coulson!" Fury snarled.

"What? This is SHIELD's fault. All of it. So, long story short. This Tony arrives, the Higher Ups gave us an ultimatum. While you guys were busy catching the media's attention, you inadvertently bought us time. We hunted out each of the people responsible for this mess. Like I'd said, four in total. They are in our custody at a secret facility and by all means,"

Coulson nodded respectfully at Rogers, "Cap, you have full permission to interrogate them and scare them witless. Go right ahead."

Rogers gulped. He didn't know what to think of this. His head ached acutely as he released a shaky breath to steady himself.

"And what are you going to do about this mess?" Avenger Cap's tone was tinged with resent and judgemental.

Fury exchanged a look with Coulson, "We don't actually know that part yet."

Stark began pacing, his heavy feet trudging loudly on the expensive floor. "You mean the Asgardian's."

"Them, yeah. And of course we have to explain how two Iron Men and Captain America's were fighting in the same fuckin' battle. Alongside these characters from Asgard."

"So what're you going to do with me, then? Arrest me?" Stark gave Fury an unflattering sneer.

"No way in hell," Rogers shouted, surprising everyone including himself. He stared at Stark with his characteristically stubborn willpower on full display. "I'll go in front of those camera's and declare your innocence way before it gets to that."

Stark nearly tripped mid-step, squeaking, "What? Really?"

"That won't be necessary, Captain. SHIELD has already issued a statement for some limited damage control." Fury intoned. "It says something to the effect that Stark was incorrectly criminalized, SHIELD was crippled by inner-corruption, the bots attacking weren't actually SHEILD property-"

"And you really think they are going to buy that shit?" Stark cried helplessly. "People are stupid, but they aren't that stupid."

"As I said, limited damage control." Fury agreed evenly.

Tony glanced at Steve, wondering what he thought about this. Was SHIELD telling the truth? How could they know? If they'd been lying through their teeth for this long what was stopping them from continuing the lie?

"Oh, hi guys!" Freya chirped, appearing with a wide grin and scaring the shit out of all of them. "Wondered where you went off to."

She seemed to notice the tension in the room, and deflated slightly, "Awe, are you guys fighting right now? We just kicked some robot ass! That was fun, now, wasn't it?"

Thor lifted his hand reproachfully in her direction, "Lady Freya,"

"No, Thor!" The goddess fumed, crossing her pixie-thin arms. "We need alcohol right now. And greasy apps. And pizza. Right now. Stop sorting out these petty fucking differences and come binge drink with me."

"Lady Freya," Thor repeated.

"No, no no!" She shook her head, hair flying across her face. "**You**!"

She marched over to Fury with thunderous intent, "Hello, mortal. You're not going to fuck with my friends anymore, right? Not Cap or Stark or any of these fine Avengers? Right?"

Fury actually appeared uncomfortable, "No, we aren't."

Freya waited until Coulson, Barton and Romanova echoed those words. Then she beamed at them cheerfully. "Okay, good! We can go now!"

"What just happened?" Stark whined despondently.

Thor chuckled, "The Lady Freya is the keeper of many wisdoms. She has the power to discern a lie. If she believes these four, they are indeed speaking the truth."

"Huh. That must be nice," Avenger Tony whistled easily, standing. "Well I'm not one to argue with an Asgardian. Fury, you go and clean up this mess you made. We're going to get some food and beer."

"_Yaaaay!_" Freya cheered childishly, fist pumping a slender arm. As she jumped her armor clinked.

"I didn't think this day could get any weirder." Rogers choked quietly to himself.

He was startled when a metal hand clapped his shoulder. Stark gave him an sympathetically understanding smile that was devoid of antagonistic intent.

"You and me both, Spangles."

TBC.


	11. The Unavoidable Brawl

This may, in fact, be the most bizarre day of Tony Stark's entire life.

With his eclectic track record, that was really saying something. To hell with getting kidnapped and tortured in Afghanistan by terrorists. Screw building his Iron Man armor or becoming an Avenger. Aliens attacking New York City or diving suicidally into fucking black hole portals? _Pssh_. That was child's play compared to the frankly surreal place he currently found himself.

Because right now he was in a cozy underground tavern eating a slice of greasy pizza and drinking cheap beer. His company? Six overzealous Asgardian's, four sets of doppelgängers and one mellow half-asleep Bruce. Tony couldn't honestly imagine dreaming up a situation this goddamn random. It felt like he was tripping on hard-core synthetic drugs. Glancing across the bar, he smirked to himself. At least he wasn't the only one.

The bartender standing a couple feet away was wiping a glass and glaring at his shoes. He was clearly trying not to freak out in a major way. He appeared completely unwilling to say anything abnormal as he effortlessly poured them drinks. Tony admired how this guy was professionally detached and courteous.

The bartender's name was Ralph. He was in his early twenties, a law student, and he was broke as a joke. So despite the fact that the city around them was in a chaotic uproar, Ralph hadn't called in sick. After watching crazy shit on the news like everyone else, he showed up to work on time and opened like any other night. The place had been unsurprisingly dead except for a handful of alcoholic regulars.

Then around nine pm this eccentric trainwreck of a group filed into his bar, smelling of acrid smoke and covered with bruises and sweat. Ralph wondered with escalating dismay if getting out of bed that morning was his biggest mistake.

Then he realized that Tony Stark was winking and sliding a shiny black credit card towards him.

The weapons genius from the TV and tabloids was matter-of-factly promising he'd leave a generous tip so long as Ralph would oh so very kindly ignore the obvious elephant in the room. His own special brand of what-the-fuck how is this my life, sorry about that. And stuff. Oh, and refrain from calling the cops. Not that it accomplish an iota of good since all the emergency lines were likely engaged.

But once Ralph clapped his eyeballs on Stark's name, his worries disappeared and became replaced with flashing dollar signs. His ears rang with the recognizable cha-ching noise that often meant 'don't fuck this up.' Ralph figured it wasn't the stupidest thing he'd ever done for easy money.

So the frazzled bartender kept his trap shut and silently refilled rapidly empty glasses. Hundreds of dollars of booze later, he wondered who would get alcohol poisoning first.

Ralph watched the weird twins and cosplayers boast about 'honorable' battles and drink themselves into a collective stupor. He debated checking the news on his phone but smartly assumed ignorance was bliss. If he didn't say anything they probably wouldn't kill him, Ralph reasoned to himself.

Hell, these people looked and talked like characters straight out of a freaking comic book. The only customers who wore regular clothes were the two (not one, but two) identical Tony Stark's. Go into your happy place, Ralph told himself firmly as he focused on pouring the next brew. A few members of this group wore gleaming chainmail armor and clutched big pointy weapons that certainly appeared real enough. Ralph gulped to himself and ducked his head. The money, he reminded himself. Do it for the money.

Tony and his "twin" removed their Iron Men armor shortly after entering the dive bar. Mostly because the place wasn't big enough to comfortably navigate while wearing thousands of pounds of over-heated tech. Stark's armor was a little better off from the fight, but not by much. Tony sighed belatedly, it would take weeks to fix all the damage when they got home. If they ever got home. The pair ruefully stacked their battered suits together in a heap on the corner of a table.

Tony had grinned smugly when Thor propped Mjolnir atop the folded metal to make sure they weren't absconded by anyone. Namely, by the two pompous SHIELD agents in the room.

Who the Avengers, for excellent reasons, still kinda wanted to throttle. The Avengers and SHIELD agents kept giving each other mistrustful glances for about an hour. But that wasn't bound to last.

Several rounds of drinks later, alcohol loosened their tongues. They each noticeably relaxed in their own way. It began with Stark offering to let the Avengers crash on any of the non-smoldering floors of Stark Tower. Soon after Natasha and Other Widow were beating the snot out of both Clint's, the Asgardian's and Other Steve with a fiercely competitive game of poker. Avenger Steve didn't know where they found the cards and chips. Or how they knew the rules to begin with. He tried not to think about those types of technicalities anymore. Not after joining this insane team. It was better that way.

Apparently since the deities hadn't seen Freya in 'a most egregious age' as Fandral put it, over-indulging was the only logical thing to do. And the Avenger's knew how sincerely battle-sated Asgardian's partied.

By midnight Tony was shocked nobody blacked out or started a fight. Volstagg was his dutifully obnoxious and loud self. Sif kept playfully hitting on by both Clint's, much to Other Natasha's amusement and Nat's chagrin. Bruce was long since passed out and clearly not moving anytime soon. The scientist was curled in a little ball on the plastic seat of a booth near the back of the bar, Thor's cape acting as his makeshift blanket.

Other Natasha began attempting to steal Clint's bow when he wasn't looking. Nat had a nice chat with Freya about broadswords. And Steve wouldn't really leave Tony's line of sight, not that it bothered him. But Tony was, shockingly enough, having fun. Whatever Freya had done to him to stop the relic, he was damn thankful for it. If not, he'd be curled next to Bruce and dead to the world with sheer exhaustion. And then he'd miss all the insanely hilarious shit going on around him.

Stark also found himself having a good time. He formed an instant kinship with this identical version of himself, and belatedly envied the carbon copy Iron Man. Stark wondered if that was narcissistic but couldn't manage to actually care. The pair inevitably hit upon the topic of armor design and began ranting passionately.

Stark scowled at his counterpart in mock-disgust, cradling a drink with one hand, "But those specs make no sense. You'd lose too much viable shock-resistance, let alone-"

"No, no, no!" Tony shook his head enthusiastically, literally cutting himself off and almost spilling his beverage. "You're thinking about it from the wrong angle. What you lose in strength you get back with agility. You can't take the same hits but you can sure as hell maneuver out of the fuckin' way before they dare target you."

Stark frowned petulantly, crossing his arms, "Okay. How the fuck did you manage to get the airlock system to work, then? Whenever I try to miniaturize the filtration and back-up air supply, I can never-"

"Ohhhh," Tony nodded instantly in sympathetic understanding. "I know what you mean. That was a bitch to get the calculations down. So what you gotta do is focus on the inner case of the chest piece. So if you push the lining underneath where the arc reactor is-"

Stark frowned and inquired, "Arc reactor?"

Tony balked, realizing that if he'd bothered to pay attention, it would be clear that this version didn't have an arc reactor. He stared at the place where the arc would be on him. A bare chest revealed across the table through carelessly worn clothes. Tony had long since changed his attire to hide the arc's light as much as possible. Helped avoid awkward questions.

So he gulped his drink down and tugged up his double layer of shirts. The familiar blue light glowed across Stark's face as his explanation.

Other Tony stared at the tech imbedded in his chest with an awed and morbid fascination. "What the fuck is that? It's attached to your rib cage?"

Steve watched from across the room as Tony instantly began an overly technical lecture about the arc reactor and how it powered the Iron Man suit. Tony was wearing his genuinely happy smile as he carelessly bragged about his own brilliance.

The First Avenger knew that the genius was getting a helluva kick out of this, despite the fact that he'd nearly been killed earlier in the day. Steve tucked his chin to his chest and heaved a great sigh, wishing for the millionth time that he could get drunk. Maybe then his brain might turn off. Because even if he was Captain America, a super solider and hero, he could never be that stubborn or brave.

Steve would never truly be able to fully wrap his head around how inconceivably strong Tony Stark was. It sometimes scared him silly. How seemingly easy it was for him to bounce back from tragedy, focus on whatever new project or upgrade or replacement. Creating the next technological marvel in his lab with such dedication and bullheadedness it sometimes drove Steve batty.

Tony was able to take on anything anyone could conceivably throw at him. Steve's skin ached, touch starved, as his chest swelled with affection. He wanted to tangle his fingers into those dark curls. Wanted to kiss across his pulse point, bite a bruise and pointedly claim the genius in front Stark and not-him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced curiously at Other Steve. The Captain from this world was fifty dollars short in the poker game. But he was very noticeably withdrawn and only half-heartedly participating.

Good, Steve thought darkly. Let him stew with his guilt.

He then noticed with a spike of irritation that the SHIELD Captain continued stealing peeks towards the ranting Iron Men. He glared at Other Steve unconsciously. That version better know to keep the hell away from Tony. Unlike his intoxicated friends, he hadn't forgotten or forgiven how battered his Tony was when they'd arrived in this realm.

Steve flinched as he vividly remembered shoving the cell door open. Fury at his shoulder trying to bullshit his way out taking responsibility. For a terrifying second he'd thought Tony wasn't breathing. He'd never seen this vibrant engineering maniac look so small and vulnerable. It set every protective instinct he possessed off.

The soldier knew that part of Tony's condition had to do with the curse of Freya's necklace. But then he'd easily deduced with one glance that this SHIELD foolishly tried to remove Tony's arc reactor. Weapon, indeed. The dent in the casing was the only thing Freya hadn't been able to heal with her spell. Steve suddenly felt a little dizzy. He clenched his fist in his lap, apprehensive for no reason.

He irrationally wanted to bolt to his feet and punch that dazed look off this Captain's face. Just as he was internally debating how bad of an idea that would be, a small hand tapped his arm and he jumped despite himself.

Freya grinned serenely up at him, "Anything the matter, Captain?"

"No." Steve emitted a shaky and uneven breath, twining his fingers on his lap, "Not really. Don't worry about it. Lady Freya."

The ancient goddess snorted indelicately, "Please, just Freya. Sounds weird when humans try to imitate Asgardian's."

Steve blinked, uncomprehending.

"Renaissance festivals are the worst." Freya deadpanned. "I find them truly irritating. People don't even study the time period properly, except for a few, and how those naive imbeciles talk grates on my nerves. You know?"

The Captain peered down at her thoughtfully, "I think I do. I found the slang from this generation to be very disconcerting for the longest time. Tony got me used to it, eventually."

The petite Asgardian goddess hummed and took a sip of her beer, "You know, when I removed Brisengamen? I have a few things I'd like to mention about that."

"Okay," Steve replied, forcing an uneasy smile.

Her piercing intellect honed exclusively upon him, cerulean gaze laying his insecurities bare. For whatever reason, Steve found himself inexplicably calmed and placid.

"Nothing to worry about, he'll be fine. The spell is gone. Yet, you should know." Freya mentioned with forced nonchalance before she winced and plowed onwards.

"Those memories regarding Anthony that you thought about earlier. I was able to feel them. I truly apologize for invading this privacy of mind. However, it had to be done to break the curse. Through those memories I watched your past. You've survived a lot, Steven Rogers. Asleep under the ice for many years and awoken only to heedlessly rush back into battle. Sounds like what happened to my cousin once during a foolish childhood prank gone awry."

Freya huffed, glancing at Thor absently, "She was an idiot though and totally deserved it."

"Okay," He repeated, still not sure what exactly they were talking about.

She chuckled and pointed discretely at Tony, his expression was brazenly mirthful and blithesome, "I've lived for so long now that I've forgotten what the word time honestly means. Even if I may never have children, I still adore the new generations that emerge from this planet like they are my own. Earth is a splendid world. I've grown to appreciate the beauty of the landscapes and the peculiar humans that inhabit it."

She paused, pursing her lips. "I know this for certain: I will only witness a passion and love bold enough to break Brisengamen's curse twice during my existence. My life energy is unfortunately eternally tied to that wretched trinket. It was the inadvertent failsafe Odin never anticipated. That bastard."

Steve quietly murmured, "And the other time?"

Freya's grin was beautiful and heart wrenching, "You probably wouldn't believe me."

He leaned forward, "Try me."

She licked her lisps and husked in a secretive manner, "It actually hasn't happened yet. I've dreamt about it on many occasions, but that event won't be for at least another hundred years."

The soldier's jaw dropped, amazed, "You can see into the future?"

"No, not really see in to the future, persay." She took another sip from the brown bottle cradled in her delicate hands. "I dream about events. And sometimes they come true and sometimes they don't. But I've always had a strong feeling about meeting you. I've dreamt about you before."

"What? You have?"

"Oddly enough, I'd never seen Tony Stark succumb to Brisengamen. Perhaps because it was your timeline which I would see. Not his."

Blond eyebrows crinkled, handsome visage raw and exposed before he hesitantly asked, "Why not both of us?"

"Oh, don't be like that," She admonished with flippant amusement. "He was unconscious, so his memories are safe and sound within his own brain. I had to tell you I'd seen those memories because it's the respectful thing to do. You clearly don't mind, but I have a feeling Tony Stark would. He's the type of man to treasure his secrets more than his money."

"That's true." Steve fidgeted, thoughts skidding away a thousand miles an hour. "Wow. But. Um. Isn't it scary to sometimes know the future? To know that you were going to meet me?"

"You have no idea." She agreed, with careful indifference. They lapsed into companionable silence for a long moment. "It's why I have no problem with the Captain of this realm. I know you'll resent this, but he's not especially different from you. He's a man who made a mistake, and you need not worry about him harming Tony of any incarnation."

The soldier scowled abruptly, pouting in Tony's general direction. He met brown eyes for a heartbeat, chest tight with an unidentifiable emotion.

During the entire exchange with Freya, Tony'd been keeping a close tabs on them out of the corner of his eye. It seemed like super serious stuff. Tony's was intrigued but more than sick of drama by this point so he didn't interrupt. Even when Steve met his eyes and affected a simpering puppy-pout. Tony subtly winked at Steve, discrete enough that his doppelgänger didn't notice.

Tony would ask about it later. Right now he really just wanted to learn as much as he could about this alternate version of himself. The differences were more fascinating than the similarities. Because after talking shop for three hours, the pair began comparing technology and media trends. This world was a very close parallel to his yet they'd manage to pinpoint a few key divergences.

Steve turned back to Freya.

"Do you think Thor will be able to fix things for you when he becomes King of Asgard?"

Freya crossed her arms, chainmail clinking, "I can't say for sure. I hope so. That won't be for a long while off. There must first be Ragnarök."

"I don't know what that means." Steve admitted.

Freya smiles humorlessly, gazing distantly at nothing as if pondering a painful end for something beloved. "I fear that you inevitably will."

The ancient Asgardian stared at him with earnest and grave determination. "This is not the only time we shall meet under dire circumstances, Steven. I implore you to remember that. Know that I shall always be a loyal ally to the Avengers."

Freya stood and spun with nimble grace, expression transforming in an instant. She marched in a straight line over to the bar and gave a beaming grin up at the bartender. She drawled playfully, looking wickedly mischievous, "Another please, good sir? And maybe a double shot of tequila?"

The bartender smoothly replaced her beer. As he poured her the double shot and plucked lime and salt, he looked at her face for an awkward pause, "So, anime convention or something?"

"Something like that." She replied easily, twining her fingers under her chin with careful consideration. "You're taking this all rather well."

Ralph shifts uncomfortably, blurting, "Do I even want to know what's going on?"

"No." She shakes her petite head absently, "You probably don't."

"Okay." He nodded furiously, emphatically believing her. "Okay."

Freya gave him a sympathetic bob before wandering towards the poker table. Steve joined Thor and Sif, the trio was taking turns glaring at one another with stoney determination. The good Captain of America was nothing if not competitive.

A sizable quantity of alcohol was consumed, and it was nearing two in the morning. The bartender didn't seem courageous enough to try and kick them out any time soon. The jovial atmosphere in the bar got progressively louder and more rambunctious.

Fandral was now shamelessly flirting with Freya, who very much enjoyed his attentions. Clint and Other Clint heatedly aimed darts across an impossible distance against the set of Natasha's. Stark's vision was so swayed it was hard to tell which was which, Avenger or SHIELD. Volstagg and Hogun snored obliviously on the floor near Bruce.

Other Steve had been quiet and standoffish most of the night, so Tony walked over and plopped in the chair beside him. His cheerful greeting was cut off when he spotted the crestfallen expression. Other Steve forced himself to give a sharp nod.

Tony looked over and saw what captured Spangles attention. At some point, mostly to keep himself awake, the bartender turned the TV from a sports coverage to the local news channel.

The words, "Casualties Unknown" scrolled across the screen, images of the city's destruction making him sick.

How many occasions would he have to watch New York City burn? And this time the battle seemed so pointlessly petty. SHIELD attacking Stark so they could hide stealing from him. SHIELD attacking Stark so they could cover up the inner civil war. SHIELD beating the shit out of him to hide the lie from Spangles.

The deaths from this fight were an egregious offense. He wasn't sure how other him was going to manage to forgive them. It was truly despicable, sending M9's and bots intended for warfare into a defenseless metropolis.

"What a waste," Tony snarled under his breath, fighting indignation as the camera panned on ambulances and gurneys.

Other Steve murmured his appalled agreement, taking a drink of his lukewarm beer even if it wouldn't do anything. Tony copied him wordlessly, eyes glued to the TV.

Stark wandered over eventually and sat on the opposite side of Cap. The three watched the screen with rapt attention. The relayed information seemed to mix truth with fabrication seamlessly. Fury's campaign was a good one, Stark admitted. It wouldn't work forever, but right now it was the easiest way. He had to believe that, didn't he?

The next headline read, "Tony Stark is Iron Man!"

Apparently in the heat of battle, a reporter snapped a video clip of Avenger Cap and Tony talking. Tony's face plate was flipped open and it was clearly him, smiling indecipherably. No way to deny that was him, or at least a version of him.

The bartender warily turned the volume up on the TV just in time for the reporter to say, "And Stark's motives for dismantling the robots in New York are at as of yet unclear. To recap the latest updates on the disaster in New York City: Stark Industries just released a statement confirming that Stark is in fact Iron Man. Nicolas Fury of SHIELD has also gone on the record to say that the smear campaign against Stark was inaccurate-"

"Turn it off," Stark glared at his hands, the report throttling him back into harsh reality.

He slammed his glass onto the bar with so much force it nearly shattered. Stark grit his teeth. He did not fucking want or ask for SHIELD's goddamn help. He was not their patsy, and he hoped they didn't expect any fucking favors because-

"Fucking SHIELD." Stark snarled vehemently.

Ralph gulped and quickly followed the clipped order before neatly stepping as far away from the pissed off man as he could manage.

Stark felt his blood pressure jump dangerously as he paced like a feral cat. He was surprisingly stable and fluid despite the copious amounts of alcohol in his system.

He clenched his fist and tried not to explode with righteous indignation. Fury somehow managed to make the media assume Avenger Tony was him and that he'd built more than one suit. A logical assumption, albeit an incorrect one. It kinda pissed him off, because now he'd have to lie and play along with SHIELD's story. He did not want, in fact, to be fucking known as an undercover SHIELD anything. Stark wanted to wash his hands of that organization and erase them from his existence.

But he was left with no other viable option. Even if he knew it was the best strategy he had right now it wouldn't stop him from despising it. Because once the Avenger's left for their world, he'd be here cleaning up the mess. They got to walk away without any hassle. Thanks for the memories. Lucky bastards. Miss Potts was going to maim him.

The bar grew hushed, SHIELD Natasha and Clint watching him with identical cringes of regret. That was the last straw.

"_You lying bastards_!" Stark bellowed, flinging his arms up.

He spun and flew in front of SHIELD's Black Widow and Hawkeye with a burst of speed, "This is all your fuckin' fault!"

Stark shoved at Clint, who actually allowed himself to be manhandled. Even Natasha didn't disarm him, watching him shake Clint by the shoulders with aghast vexation. He shouted at them, flinging insults left and right, and all but screamed bloody murder. The pair of SHIELD agents placidly permitted him. It was as if they understood why Stark needed to let his frustration and desperation out.

Until mid-wail, Stark's clumsy fist got precariously close to striking Natasha's face, Other Steve rushed forward.

Avenger Steve's fist collided with Other Steve's jaw before he barely took a step.

Then all hell broke loose.

Ralph had stopped some scary testosterone-fueled fights before. He'd been a bartender since he was in high school, and knew how to kick out drunken idiots. But this wasn't a standard brawl. This was way too fucking far out of his depth to dare interfere. Because the pair of Captain America's were beating the absolute shit out of one another and it looked like something out of an action film.

Next thing he knew the two guys who'd been sound asleep were joining the fight. They didn't seem to know why they were fighting but they did so with lurid joy. Then a guy with a hammer was head-butting the small blond girl. And Ralph kinda lost track of what happened after that.

Eventually the entire group of crazy comic book heroes and their body double started exchanging teasing blows and tackling one another and laughing their asses off.

So, what actually occured was pretty random, too.

As soon as Tony'd been able, he'd thrown his arms around Steve and bodily blocked him from advancing on the other Cap. Then Stark was sprawled across Other Steve's lap for whatever reason, and Other Steve was blushing furiously.

Just when Tony thought the fight was over, the damn Asgardian's woke up. Apparently their instinct when seeing a friendly dispute was to join in. It figured. Before he could open his mouth Other Widow was deflecting Freya's expertly aimed kick, and Clint was tackling Volstagg into the hallway. Steve glanced up just as Sif was draped over Thor's shoulder, his affable mirth filling the room.

So Tony shoved at Other Steve and slapped pathetically at Other Clint's butt and his elbow was digging into Thor's beefy shoulder blade and. Dear god, he was crying he was laughing so hard. He couldn't help it. He was in drunken pile with a couple highly-trained assassins, a handful of deadly Asgardian warrior's, two freaking Captain America's and another version of himself.

All while the poor bartender stared at them looking torn between bursting into nervous tears or hauling ass out of the room as fast as humanly possible. The added realization sent Tony into another fit of breathless laughter. His hand cradled Steve's biceps, fingers gliding over the armor.

Yeah, everything was going to be just fine.

TBC.


	12. No Place Like Home

Note: Might add an epilogue. Eventually.

Around four in the morning, even Ralph was tipsy. He'd never consumed alcohol at work before, as a general rule. But that night he began self medicating with a nice cold beer. Because a goddamn insanely unreal kung-fu fight had pretty much demolished the bar. He didn't dare fathom how much in damages. Glass was shattered across the floor, four of the bar taps bent irreparably, wood splintered dangerously. Several gaping chunks of ceiling were missing above him.

So Ralph said fuck it and joined this crazy group of lunatics. He wasn't sure if some of them were even human. His boss was going to fire him anyway.

What did he have to lose? Answer: Nothing. Therefore, he brought out the pricey scotch and watched with chagrin as the cosplayers began singing weird songs he'd never heard of before. They were oddly pleasing and nostalgic. For a group of hooligans they sure knew how to belt a tune.

(The next morning, after he woke up in his apartment with a raging hangover, Ralph found a check in his jacket pocket. It was made out for fifty thousand dollars. The corner barred a little note with drunken scrawl, '_Thanks & hope this will cover the cost of therapy. -Stark_'. Needless to say, that amount was more than enough to pay off his student loads, quit his other shitty part time job, and focus on school. Maybe travel abroad. A miracle, practically. Despite all the smear campaigns about Iron Man to come, Tony Stark became Ralph's hero from that day onward. Even if the man himself was a walking disaster.)

Things got kinda blurry for Stark after the fight puddle kerfuffle. He vaguely remembered at some point patting the infuriatingly sober Rogers and telling him he wasn't too horrible of an asshole. Or something to that extent. He wondered if Rogers took offense. Seeing as how the SHIELD Captain helped haul their asses home, he assumed not.

The pair of super soldiers were both injured after the brawl but rapidly healing.

Steve felt belatedly sheepish about it, and was glad his team was too drunk to mention his unprofessional loss of control. Or say anything cogent in particular. Because he knew logically that Rogers wouldn't have harmed Stark. He'd been trying to keep Stark from striking SHIELD's Natasha, even if Steve knew she could have easily avoided the blow.

But he'd really wanted to punch this bastard version of Steve Rogers. It'd been an itch he'd been meaning to scratch since he'd arrived in this realm, scared and franticly worried about Tony.

His conscience wasn't entirely clear, though. Rogers was the only one coherent enough to help him half-carry, or more accurately drag, his gaggle of clumsy friends back to Stark Tower. Normally Stark would've had Happy pick him up. He thought walking was tedious and had the money to burn. But he'd told his chauffeur and Miss Potts to scram shortly after Freya dropped by to warn him.

So, without a care in the world, as dawn broke overhead crisp and clean, Stark wrapped his arm around Rogers broad shoulder and hummed an offbeat AC/DC song. He belatedly slurred an offer for Rogers to stay overnight, too. Since Black Widow and Hawkeye were. If that sounded like a sexual proposition, well, Stark was drunk as a skunk. He couldn't be held responsible.

Avenger Tony was foolishly blacked out and didn't remember going to bed.

When he awoke the next morning, the sun burning his retinas, he was dazed and bleary. Half-awake. He vaguely recognized the room, but this wasn't his bedroom. Rolling onto his back he smacking his dry lips before spotting Steve passed out beside him.

The man was curled facing Tony and blissfully unconscious. God damn. He was too handsome, Tony thought for the billionth time. Steve had a preference for sleeping naked, but he'd kept his briefs on. The genius could see the black fabric peeking from under the sheet. His flawless six pack was clearly defined even when the muscles were lax, Tony noted with half-hearted jealousy. He knew body builders would kill for that kind of perfection.

Tony's head throbbed so he wandered into the bathroom on autopilot. As he relieved himself, his thoughts caught up to him. Oh shit. He swayed on his feet, pulling his boxers back before making a beeline for the large mirror. He placed both of his palms on the cold marble sink to examine his chest. His heart was racing.

Oh fuck. Yeah. Other world. That had happened. His index finger traced the ding near the arc's shell with something akin to awe. What the hell had Fury done that managed this kind of damage? It wasn't tech he was familiar with. The metal of the casing was even stronger than what he used for the outer layer of the Iron Man armor. It was molecularly comparable to Steve's modified shield. He was staring at his tech with such rapid fascination that he hadn't noticed Steve move up behind him. The super soldier's large hand covered his, pressing against the arc reactor protectively.

Tony jumped and turned until Steve's arms cradled, comforting, around him. Heaving a sigh, he buried his nose in the sleep-sweat neck and parsed out his next sentence.

"I don't know if this SHIELD tried to put a tracer on me, or if they somehow modified the core." Tony said, fingers sliding across the sensitive bare skin on Steve's lower back. "That'll be the first thing I'll have to check out when we get back home."

Steve cringed inwardly, placing a kiss to the engineers temple, "I'm glad the Tony from this world doesn't have an arc reactor. I wouldn't want them to know anything about the specs, much less how to remove it."

"I don't think that they learned much from scanning it or putting me under an x-ray, Steve." Tony snorted with wryly cynical amusement.

"I don't know how the fuck they dented the casing, but I don't think they are that clever. You're giving them way to much credit."

"Oh, shoot." Cap tensed suddenly. "I, _er_. Forgot to mention."

Steve licked his lips apprehensively.

Tony craned his neck to peer at the inexplicably anxious face. "Steve?"

"When Freya removed the Asgardian relic, thing," Steve frowned but evenly met Tony's questioning gaze. "She needed the arc reactor out for a couple minutes. You were unconscious, so I took the initiative."

Ton tensed, trying to force away an instinctive swell of panic.

He squeaked, "Oh?"

Steve nodded, sounding terribly apologetic. "It was kind of one of those emergencies we talked about. I held the device the entire time, but SHIELD got the procedure on their security cameras. I checked the core. The failsafe was still in lock position, so they couldn't have managed to breach the casing."

Tony sighed and buried his face into Steve's bare chest. His next words were muffled, "I'll bet Clint kinda freaked out. Not too much since Other SHIELD was there, but still. He'd never seen what it looked like out before. Pretty jarring."

"To be honest, I think Not-Me was the most unsettled by the experience." Steve deadpanned.

"I don't get why you don't just call him Other Steve. Or Rogers, if you dislike him that much." Tony mentioned curiously.

Then he smirked, and his face turned openly mirthful and teasing. "I vaguely remembering you punching him clean off his feet, Captain Sassypants. Not very American behavior, hmm."

"I was perfectly justified." Steve snorted caustically, the soldier's pinched expression making Tony chuckle, "And can we not talk about that and please just forget it happened?"

"Why?" Tony cooed playfully, batting his eyelashes and making smacking kiss noises into Steve's shoulder.

Steve pulled him onto the bathroom counter and allowed Tony to wrap his legs around slim hips. The genius had been touch starved for most of his life. So now, because he could, he spent a considerable amount of time clinging to Steve and generally entering his personal space bubble as frequently as he was able. Steve didn't mind, unless it was in front of Fury.

"He hurt you." Steve admitted after a long pause, "I can't just forget that another version of myself hurt you. Even if he was lied to. I just can't."

"But he's sincerely apologized." Tony pointed out. "Twice."

"I know." The super soldier replied, brushing his fingers into the billionaires mused hair. Tony curled into him like a cat being petted. "But I'm not really rational when it comes to you, am I. At least Other Tony doesn't seem to mind him much. On our walk back here this morning Stark was practically carried like a rucksack by Not-Me."

Steve gave a quirked smile, nuzzling his nose against the engineers cheek. "Other Tony kept repeating how Not-Me wasn't toomuch of a prick and not so horrible of an asshole. Then when he finally got offended, and believe me it took almost ten blocks, you started belting choruses from AC/DC songs with Stark. It was ridiculously entertaining. He couldn't even stay angry because you two were so stupidly adorable."

"I'm not adorable." Tony chastised, pressing kisses to Steve's smooth skin. "I'm an old man."

Steve huffed, so Tony quickly continued, tightening his grip slightly, "And anyways. We didn't really get off to a good start, either. Now look at us."

When he was cradled in Steve's impossibly masculine arms, Tony kinda morphed into a seriously cheesy teenage girl. Still not adorable, but he digressed. Steve lived for that corny stuff, seemed to wordlessly yearn for it. So Tony let himself ramble and saw the words have his intended effect on the man as he relaxed bonelessly into their mutual embrace.

"Steve, you came across time and space to save me. And you punched yourself, literally, for my honor. I'm not trying to make light of your dislike for the other version of you, cause yeah. He is sort of a jerk. But he's you and therefore I can't just be all mean and spiteful about it like I would with anyone else. You get me?"

Tony emphasized his words with a sound kiss, before shifting back just far enough for their breath to mingle.

"Because he's _you_. And if you think about it, Cap, we frankly got the better end in all of this. We get to go home scot-free. This world has to start coming to terms with the fact that they aren't alone in the Universe. At least we've had a couple years to wrap our heads around aliens and yah know. Asgardian gods and magic. They get to stay and clean up the PR shitstorm we created."

"Fury's unintended retribution." Steve mused. He stared at his reflection in the mirror thoughtfully, "What do you think is going to happen with SHIELD, then?"

"I don't really much care." Tony replied with absent honesty. He might be sort of a dick, but he wasn't planning on putting too much time into worrying about this world after they got home. He would delete these memories from his brain if he could. Except for maybe Freya. And Other-Him, of course, because he was a stand-up guy.

"But I do know that we are about to have the weirdest breakfast in our entire lives. We might as well be eating cereal with Daleks, and they don't even have proper hands."

"Daleks?" Steve echoed blankly. "Is this another weird reference to that show you're so obsessed with?"

"Seriously, Steve. How many times do I need to tell you to watch Dr. Who with me? You'd really love it."

Tony squinted at the inviting shower.

He deftly returned to his feet, away from Steve, and let his boxers drop. "Shower?"

Steve followed him immediately, stripping his own boxers off as Tony adjusted the water to Steve's ideal temperature. He preferred lukewarm showers himself, but Steve was more partial to holy-shit-my-skin-is-going-to-burn scalding hot showers. Probably had something to do with being trapped in the ice. Tony was smart enough not to ask.

They both stepped in and allowed the hot spray wash away their sweat. Steve gently scrubbed Tony clean with his bare palms, hands hovering around the arc reactor. Tony watched Steve lean down and place his lips against the dented casing of his life-protecting invention.

"I want to talk with Rogers privately before we leave." He whispered into the cusp of Tony's ear. "I want to know how he managed to damage your arc reactor."

Tony nodded his affirmation, smoothing his soap-slick palms over Steve's sharp shoulder blades. He pressed a kiss to Steve's chest in the same spot his tech would be. "I need to thank Freya again. Properly. I wonder if she's gonna stay here or not."

Steve kissed him on the mouth, tracing chapped lips with his tongue. Tony smiled against those lips, shivering as he felt hot arousal pool thick in his stomach. Steve's large hand gripped his hip bones with firm resolve as he dipped to deepen the kiss. Tony's thoughts skittered away as the made out with increasing enthusiasm, giving and taking control as if it was second nature.

Steve's hands wandered shamelessly across his body, kneading his backside while pressing their groins together with pleasurable friction. Tony gasped like a born tart, face turning away from the showers spray as he tip-toed up to ply Steve's tantalizing mouth with his own.

The kiss eventually tapered away as Steve hugged Tony skin-tight against him. Holding him as if he'd vanish. "I'm so glad you are alright."

Tony cupped Steve's cheek gently, stepping a pace backwards to say, "Only thanks to you."

His eyes fluttered closed when Steve pulled him back. But he managed enough self-control to murmur, "I hate myself for saying this. I can't believe it myself and I'll make it up to you later. But. We really should get dressed."

Steve was more than a little amused despite himself as the shut off the water. Tony telling him they should be on time for something? Turning down shower orgasms? That was new. The poor guy obviously just wanted to get home. Was gagging for it. They would be much more comfortable in their own bed. Steve understood that sentiment precisely.

They toweled off and he glanced at his dirty briefs.

Steve scowled with a disgusted exhalation before he petulantly complained, "I hate putting on dirty clothes after a shower."

Tony chuckled in genuine amusement, pecking Steve's lips before ducking out of the bathroom, "What kind of soldier are you supposed to be?"

He could feel sharp blue eyes watching his backside as he walked carelessly nude, "The kind that likes to be clean when he can."

"Well good thing Other Me's all thoughtful and shit. He left us a change of clothes."

Steve perked up instantly. He peeked into the bedroom cautiously, "Oh?"

Tony knew that Steve was desperately shy about prancing around butt naked. Which Tony thought was a particularly unfounded special breed of insanity. Because, really. The man was literally the peak of human perfection. You couldn't hire underwear models who were as fit and the iconically picture-perfect as Steve.

Secretly though, Tony found Steve's modesty to be one of his most attractive qualities. Tony'd never said he wasn't possessive about the great Captain of America. So he brought the clothes from the door and handed them over inside the bathroom without a teasing remark.

After Steve was dressed in a plaid button-down and snug jeans, he picked up his shield near the door and weaved the leather strap around his torso.

"Where's my armor?" Tony asked, not especially worried. Steve wouldn't let anyone touch Tony or his stuff. Equally possessive personality, all that jazz.

"It's in the living room with Other Tony's." Steve promptly informed him. "You complained until Thor place Mjolnir over both, and declared them all to be a great friendship or something. You weren't making much sense by that point."

"Figures."

Steve stared down down at his ripped-to-hell Captain America suit. "What should I do with my uniform? Take it with?"

"Leave it, that thing is trashed." Tony jabbed a thumb as he walked backwards out the bedroom door. "Stark will probably pour over the design, but whatever. Not really a secret if it's from yourself, right? But seriously, it would take longer to repair than it would to start over again. I'll have Jarvis order the materials when we get back."

They walked companionably side by side through the halls of this realm's tower. Steve could tell it was a little different, but not too much. He couldn't really put his finger on it. But if he tried, he would say this tower was lonely.

"You're excited to get home, aren't you?" Steve said rhetorically, noticing Tony's oddly cheerful disposition.

Tony beamed at him before skipping slightly and spinning to cradle his forehead with one hand in a dramatic display, "You have no idea. Yesterday was the craziest day of my entire life, bar none. And that's fucking saying something. I might need therapy after this traumatic experience. And by therapy, I mean sex. Lots and lots of it."

"Yes," Steve smirked, eyes alight affectiontely. "Me too."

They walked into the kitchen, noticing that they were the last to arrive. Steve knew it was nearing noon-hour, way later than he usually permitted himself to lounge. But the group hadn't gotten to Stark Tower until after four in the morning. The lack of sleep showed, even the Asgardian's appeared exhausted.

The random group was congregated around Stark's kitchen table and silently shoveling their faces with greasy breakfast food. The smell assaulted Tony's nose, and his stomach growled loudly. He ignored everything but the remaining food, snatching a paper plate and diving headlong into the meal.

SHIELD's Clint had located sunglasses somewhere, and was exchanging a incomprehensible grunting conversation with Volstagg. Thor seemed to concur every so often, and Tony had no idea what was going on. So that was apparently his life now.

The table in this tower wasn't actually big enough for everyone, so Avenger Natasha, Freya and Stark stood eating their meal by the kitchen counter. Stark was drinking coffee like it was the only thing keeping him functioning. He could empathize.

"Morning, me." Tony beamed innocently at his doppelgänger.

Other Stark tried to smile back, but it came out as a pained grimace. "How are you so bright and cheerful this morning, me? This shit is all so fucked up, especially when hungover. You look all glowy and shit. Like you just got laid."

Tony gave his best attempt to keep a straight face, but burst out laughing a moment later. The Avenger Clint lounging at the table gave a loud noise of disgust.

"Not while we're eating, Stark!" Clint complained. "Seriously, stop being gross."

The Asgardian's didn't seem to think that comment was weird in any way. Stark froze, peering at his double with wary disbelief.

"I don't get it." He admitted, glancing at Avenger Natasha when she delicately sipped her tea.

"Oh, well, you see good sir-" Tony began after taking a big breath. Which meant he was about to fill the air with obnoxious word vomit. His next words were cut off by Steve's hand covering his mouth with a practiced squirmed and struggled for a long moment before finally conceding to Steve.

Steve gave Stark a curt nod, "I wouldn't worry about it."

Stark quirked an eyebrow and pointedly did not make another comment.

Freya was smiling discretely from behind her hand, and quickly cleared her throat, "So, what happens next? You guys going home?"

Thor stood, peering down at the pint-sized goddess, "Aye, that was our intention. I cannot thank you enough, Lady Freya, for removing the curse of Brisengamen from Anthony. We are in your debt."

"Count the debt fulfilled," Freya chirped, crossing her arms and as she glared pointedly, "If Tony Stark, both versions, promise me they'll never touch Asgardian shit again."

Stark gaped, peeved, because why was he always getting blamed? "But I didn't even do anything!"

Tony gave her a mock military salute, "Scout's honor. I won't."

Freya waited patiently until Stark reluctantly grumbled, "Fine. I promise."

"Great." Freya groaned, stretching her arms above her. "I'd like to go home and get some sleep now, if you don't mind."

Thor tugged her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I was happy to see you once more, my dear lady. And I shall keep my vow to you regarding the relic."

"Take it back and lock it away," Freya urged regardless.

"I shall. You, could, perhaps join us?" Thor asked quietly.

Freya seemed to think about this offer for a long moment, "No. I need to be in this realm for a little bit yet. Something must first happen before I can leave this dimension."

Thor nodded with unhesitant comprehension. "You have always had the gift of foresight. We shall then summon Heimdall and travel home."

"Before we go," Steve pipped in, oddly choked. "I want to talk with- er. _Rogers_. The one from this world. Won't take long."

Rogers, who had been until that point trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, gave a dismayed cringe.

Tony chuckled, clapping the fretful Captain's shoulder playfully, "Don't worry Other Cap. Steve won't hurt you. Will you Steve?"

The pair ducked out into the patio. The surrounding cityscape was still burning in places, wisps of smoke curling into the air. The damage was humbling. Steve spun, and opened his mouth. Then closed it. Rogers shifted his weight, watching carefully for any signs that his other self might attack.

But then all of the bravado left Steve entirely. He gazed off at distant buildings, the damaged landscape familiar but equally foreign. Tony's voice echoed in his head, "What if your position had been reversed? What if you had woken up in our world, didn't know anything at all, was spoon fed lies by SHIELD without knowing the difference?"

"I had a bunch of things I was going to say." Steve murmured. "I was going to demand a bunch of answers from you. But that won't accomplish anything, will it?"

He turned back towards himself, and they stared at one another. The wind howled and Steve saw the fight leave his other self. It was slightly disconcerting to know how transparent he could look when emotionally turmoiled.

"But you should know, you'll regret hurting him. Of this world or mine. Iron Man is a hero but _Tony Stark_ is…" Steve decided to say.

"He will inevitably become a necessity and something irreplaceable. The reason you want to live and breath and _love_ in this world. Something you would die to protect. It sounds trite and petty but, when life revolves around the makeshift family you've managed to build. Well. They're everything."

Rogers frowned, a million questions flying across his face as he began pacing a few steps before eventually replying, "Understood. I am sorry for hurting him. You do know that, right?"

"I do." Steve quips. "I'm not sorry about punching you."

"Didn't think you would be," Rogers acknowledges. "I deserved it."

"So, what is your plan? Resigning from SHIELD?" He can't help being curious, even if Tony isn't.

"Not sure yet. First I need to have a long talk with Fury. Then I'll consider my options."

"I do believe that SHIELD isn't inherently evil." Steve advised. "They have the capacity to save countless lives with their information network and resources. You'll need them some day when all the aliens start popping up. Our world did."

"Aliens." Rogers cringed with surprising amusement. "I suppose that's something to look forward to."

Back in the dining room, the Asgardian's were hugging Freya and bidding her a fond farewell.

Steve walked over near Freya and made the motions to hug the goddess again.

But before things could get terribly sappy, and as most of the group was in mid-sentence, Heimdall opened his dimensional portal and snagged them away. It was a disconcerting experience. So they left with aplomb with which they'd arrived.

The Bifröst evaporated around them, sparks of lingering energy tangible and potent. Tony heaved a sigh with unbelievable relief. This was his living room.

Mere moments after Jarvis congratulated him on his safe arrival, his AI promptly indicated that a call was connecting.

"**ANTHONY EDWARD STARK**!" Pepper screeched. Her beautiful but equally livid face appearing on the holoscreen near him.

"You are a dead man. "Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? Gone off to another dimension? Touching alien relics? Really, Tony! How dumb can you possibly be to do that? No. This is a serious question. Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat?'"

His lips quirked, "Don't worry, Pep. I've already had a seer known as Freya make me promise her I'd never touch Asgardian stuff again."

Steve's arm curled around Tony's hip, his chin nuzzling atop the crown of Tony's head as he nodded to Pepper his affirmation that Tony was telling the truth.

"He'll be fine." He rumbled, wanting to go back to sleep.

Pepper finally realized how exhausted the pair appeared, and her anger quickly deflated. "Well, I guess I should say. Welcome home, Avengers."

The smile he gave her was genuine and heartfelt and so quintessentially Tony it made her grin back at him thoughtlessly. Steve was hovering nearby, as per usual. They looked like kids on Christmas morning.

"It's good to be home."

FIN.


End file.
